Bus ride from hell.... to hell.....

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First I would like to thank sweet baby Jesus, sweet infant Jesus for allowing Linda and I to make it from Sapa to Bien Dien Phu alive! Oh my God what a trip.
We left Sapa at 8am for a 7 hour bus ride to Dien Bien Phu. This is one journey I will never ever do again. We booked tickets for a bus, what comes to pick us up? A mini van! This shitmobile was on its last legs. So we throw our bag into the back which the guy had to kick and pull to try open. So on our way we go. Not even 5 min down the road, the boot opens and bags fly out. This was going to be one hell of a ride. Anyway, the driver seemed to be on PCP, you know, that drug that makes you feel invincible. He was flying around one lane bends on a mountain edge, hooting at all in his way. There were kids, cows, dogs, water buffalo, etc all over the road, this guy was not stopping or slowing down for nothing... That was until smoke came from the airvent. The van was overheating and then just died on the middle of nowhere. So we all get out and he calls someone and has a chat. Next a mechanic rocks up 1 hour later and has a look at the problem. While this is going on, the driver and his two mates are sitting on the road talking. Now the only thing I can think the one guy was saying was,'ok guys, van is broken...mmmm..... What to do now?..... Hang on, hang on just a second. I just thought of something to kill the time. I saw a show once called Magyver, he made stuff from nothing right. We have a half litre water bottle, a banana leaf, a big knife and some hash. I know I can make a bong out of these materials, if Magyver can, I am sure I can to!'
These morons made a bong and proceeded to smoke bongs for the next 1 hour until the van was fixed! What a bunch of morons!
Anyway, the rest of the trip was spent praying to sweet baby Jesus to get us to our destination in one piece and no bus ride is complete with out crappy Vietnamese kareoke music at top volume.
The one good thing about the bus ride is the scenery, it is pretty amazing because you drive along the side of the mountain so pass many waterfalls and the country life, if you can avoid hearing and smelling the vomit of 2 Vietnamise girls who were car sick and the constant snot and spit of all the local guys in the bus.
So here we are in Bien Dien Phu, happy to be alive. We got dropped off at a hotel so booked in here as we were tired and wanted to shower and sleep. Mmm.... Sleep, bit hard when there is a fricking kareoke bar right next door. I am going to go postal in the next 30 min if they don't turn that crap off. They can't even sing well, sounds like a cat going through a mincer! Please sweet baby Jesus, one more favour, please cut the power to the whole town for tonight so no more singing! Please!

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