BOAT TRIP TO SNOT ISLAND

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We needn’t have worried about sleeping in. We didn’t notice when we checked into our hotel that there were loud speakers right outside. At just after 6am we were woken by shouting, music and communist propaganda blaring from the speakers - so much for moving to a quiet hotel.

The boat was ready to go at 8am. Unfortunately we were not. Pete had misplaced our booking ticket so we had a frantic 5 minutes searching through bags and pockets before finding it in his room on the seventh floor. We dashed across the road but we had taken so long that the only seats left were on the roof of the boat. We had been told that should the boat sink, the roof was the safest place to be - we hoped we wouldn’t find this out! In the end sitting on the roof was the best place to be. Everyone downstairs looked cramped and uncomfortable, but we could lay down and relax in the sun. As we got moving we realised that sitting on the roof had other benefits - we were sat just far away enough to ignore the annoying American ladies. At every opportunity they insisted on telling the tour guide all the interesting facts they knew about where we were visiting. I think the fact that he was wearing a badge saying “Tour Guide” meant that he probably already knew these facts!

Our first stop was at Monkey Island. I had been looking forward to seeing monkeys in the wild, but when we arrived it soon became clear these monkeys were not wild. Years of visitors meant that they were all used to humans. They recognised that our arrival meant food and were happy to come and see everyone. There are so many visitors to Monkey Island every day that I doubt these monkeys ever have to find food for themselves. I stuck around long enough to take a picture, but once the guides started making monkey noises to entice more monkeys from the trees, I left them all and went for a walk along the beach. So much of it was covered in thousands of pieces of broken coral, some pieces were as large as house bricks. Amongst it all I did manage to find some good shells to add to my ever growing collection. Then we had to board the boat for our next destination.

After a short while we arrived at The Amazing Cave. Our guide - who was advertised as speaking very good English was getting very excited at this point. We found it hard to understand him at the best of times, but with him so hyper it made it impossible. After a steep climb up a lot of steps we entered the cave and discovered just why it was called the Amazing cave. Even our guide who spent most days visiting this cave still could not contain his excitement. He kept grinning at us, nodding his head and clapping his hands while shouting “big cave, big cave!” We thought that this would be the extent of our guides information, but after he calmed down we managed to gather from him that during the war with the French there were 1.5 million people living in these caves - I can’t vouch for how accurate this information is - however it is a very big cave!

We didn’t have time for breakfast that morning as we were too busy waiting for Andy to pack his rucksack - I pleaded with him to pack it the night before but he assured me it would take no longer than 5 minutes. As I have mentioned before time keeping is not one of Andy’s strong points, hence we had to miss breakfast! We bought some snacks on the way back to the boat, but there wasn’t much that we recognised so we ended up buying some crisps that looked like Pringles and a box of Chocco Pies. We were just about to open our picnic when we realised that lunch was ready - we were spared from sampling the pies for now.

Lunch was really good. Plenty of seafood, rice and spring rolls, but for Pete who doesn’t eat fish the choice was somewhat limited. If you don’t eat fish then you are stuck with the vegetarian option which was a big steaming bowl of fried cabbage. In other circumstances Pete may have been tempted to try the cabbage, but over the past couple of days each meal he had ordered had contained a surprising and unadvertised amount of cabbage. In fact since arriving in Vietnam his life’s total cabbage consumption had tripled.

After lunch we stopped for a spot of kayaking. Pete drew the short straw when he had to pair up with our guide. At first they disappeared across the water at lightning speed, but the guide must have worn himself out because after a short while poor old Pete had to do all the work while the guide sat in the back chain smoking. We kayaked through caves, into beautiful bays and made a stop at a fish farm where we were able to see fish from tiny babies to huge full grown monsters. On the way back the guide got lost - he didn’t actually say this but it was obvious from the way we kept having to turn round and go back in the same direction. I‘m sure we must have travelled twice as far as we needed to.

Most people took to the kayaking well, but there was one Spanish couple who suffered. The husband was doing fine, but kayaking was not one of his wife’s strong points - perhaps the fact that she had kept her sheepskin jacket on didn’t help. Sheepskin really isn’t practical kayaking attire as it tends to become quite heavy when wet and I’m sure had she had fallen in she would have sunk like a stone!

As useless attire goes its right up there, along with the thick knit jumper my mum once knitted for my dad to go fishing in. Dad always said that it was great for keeping warm, but would have been a death trap had he ever fallen in. I can always remember dad arriving home from fishing with his sleeves stretched to the floor. Over the course of the day the sleeves had got wetter and wetter until he got home exhausted and unable to lift his arms.

At our next stop we were told to get off. We had arrived at the island where we would be spending the night. The two annoying American ladies asked us why we were getting off. When we told them their reply was “oh my gosh, how lovely for you” It was quite clear from her tone that she really didn’t mean it. When we got off the boat and had a look around we could understand why the American lady had seemed so insincere. Our paradise island where the sea laps against the shore as you sip a cocktail and watch the sunset was not as advertised. The tide was out and what it left behind was a lot of very slimy seaweed. We were spending the night on Snot Island!

We were shown to our beach huts, which were basic as expected, but pleasant and had electricity (after 5pm) and our own bathroom. The beach was about 8 meters away from our huts and sat on it were a group of quite fed up looking people. They had arrived a few hours before us and had been promised kayaking and snorkelling, neither of which was possible with the tide out. We all sat and watched for a while, each secretly hoping that the tide would come rushing in and we could all go for a swim. After a short time we all gave in and went to the bar.

When we first arrived on the island we thought we had made a mistake booking the two day tour. But after spending the evening with some really lovely people were glad that we did. We had bbq dinner, swapped stories and drank beer until late. Eventually at around midnight the tide came in and gave everyone a glimpse of what our paradise island should have been like.


Our new friends were picked bright and early. The tide was still in but it was quite grey and overcast. After breakfast while we were sat waiting for our boat, the sun finally appeared. We were pleased our boat was late because this meant we got to spend an hour on our paradise island with it looking just as we had imagined it..

A different boat turned up to pick us up. It was smaller which meant that we could feel the waves more, but at least people were speaking to each other - unlike the last boat where everyone kept themselves to themselves.

The day was filled with much of the same. We kayaked through caves, but learning from yesterday when we ended up with more water inside the kayak than out, we wore swimming costumes and waterproof jackets. We were a little worried to find a plastic cup to user as a bailer in our kayak, but luckily we didn’t need to use it (much). We made another stop at a fish farm. Unfortunately they had sold all their fish the previous day making the whole experience a little less interesting.

On our way back to dry land we got chatting to a couple who were staying at the same hotel as us. It turned out that they were paying $3 per night less than us - I decided I would be doing something about this when we got back.

We arrived back on land at 4.30pm and even though my feet were on dry land my head hadn’t quite caught up and I still felt like I was bobbing about. When we arrived at the hotel the manager was behind the desk. After waiting our turn I mentioned to him that we met some people who were paying less for their room. He looked a bit sheepish and tried to fob us off with some rubbish about our room being on a higher floor so we had a better view. I told him I wasn’t happy and he said he would knock the price down to $8 per night - how cheeky. I wasn’t expecting a refund, such things don’t exist in Asia, but I told him we would pay him no more than $7. He eventually agreed and handed us our key with an embarrassed look on his face. I know its standard practice for hotels to charge different people different prices. This doesn’t matter if you don’t know what the person in the next room is paying but once you find out they have got a better deal its so annoying!

Being on a boat for two days in the sun is very tiring - I know it such a hard life! After dinner we were all shattered. Pete was also feeling quite shivery, but this was more to do with the fact that he had boarded the boat white, and came off an interesting shade of crimson. All we could manage was one cocktail before bed.

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