Return to Dong Ha “City” - Big Fish Little Pond

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Coming Home - Back to Dong Ha

After our week in Hanoi and our trip to Sapa, we flew to Hue, and took a car up to Dong Ha. We planned on spending two weeks in Dong Ha teaching at Le Quy Don Gifted High School, where we taught back in April. We were excited to be back in town, but were nervous too. I think our expectations were high. We had such an amazing experience the first time here.

We were driven to our hotel, Huu Nghi, which we were told had rooms for $12. I checked out their website and it looked fine. When we showed up, I was shocked. The hotel had two buildings, the older one in the rear, which was on the website, and a brand new fancy hotel in the front. They showed us a $15 room in the older building or a $22 room in the new building with TV, hot water, air conditioning, fancy bed with duvet, and other luxurious amenities I was not expecting in Dong Ha. I felt like we were at the Ritz Carlton of Dong Ha, feeling a little guilty about how nice the room was. During our stay the Huu Nghi Hotel seemed to be the place for fancy gatherings. I think a contingent of Lao dignitaries stayed there - complete with fancy cars parked outside and a loud beer and music filled lunch. Several times Vietnamese military were hanging in the lobby, complete with their AK-47s slung over their shoulder. We were hobnobbing with the high and powerful.

After unpacking, we stopped for lunch across the street. We went to the pho shop that Ms. Nguyet, from Global Community Service Foundation, took us to during our last visit. It was her favorite and we had very fond memories. We were thrilled to return. And, it was everything we remembered - fresh slices of beef, fresh rice noodles, green onions, beef broth, and the perfect condiments of red chili, greens, bamboo shoots, chili sauce, pickled onions, and black pepper - for less than $1 a bowl. I was happy to be back in Dong Ha. We became regulars at the pho shop.

After getting our rented bikes, we rode down to the school to confirm that we remembered the route and we knew how long it took to get there. The total trip from the hotel to the school took about ten minutes, so we were pleased with that. When we arrived at the school we were greeted warmly by the security guard, Mr. Dieu, who we met over drinks during our last visit. We stopped for sugar cane juice at the café across the street from the school to cool down before our ride back to the hotel. Some of the little kids from the neighborhood remembered us. We started to feel like celebrities once again when people would ride by the café and wave to us or say hello, even though we had never met them before.

Our warm welcome ended a bit earlier than planned. There was a larger restaurant across from the hotel and up the street. We walked over there for dinner. We sat down at a small plastic table and chairs and were greeted with two cokes. We asked for the local beer, Huda, and were brought two cans of beer. Finally, we clearly requested two bottles of Huda like every other table there. We reviewed the menu, which had no prices listed. Usually I would be concerned, but we were in Dong Ha, how expensive could it be? When we started to order some dinner items, it was suggested that we move inside to a larger table under a fan. They suggested we move twice, so it was obvious that they did not want us outside. I was unsure if it was because the tables were larger inside, they were afraid we would break the little chairs, or did not want a women at the bar area outside. Regardless of the reason, we sat inside and enjoyed some bottles of Huda, some green veggies and garlic, and some great little sweet and sour pork ribs. We also ordered some chicken with chili. It was tasty, but was more lemongrass than chili, and was more lemongrass than chicken. We also started to lose our patience with small pieces of chicken on the bone, similar to our feelings on fish on the bone. The pork ribs were so tasty, we planned on returning during our stay. That was, until we received the bill.

We were overcharged for everything on our bill. The beers were an okay price, although they were cheaper elsewhere in Dong Ha. The food was more expensive than Hanoi. The total price came to 218,000 VD, well over $10. Now, I know that $10 is not a lot for a dinner, but we knew we were taken advantage of. They charged us 100,000 VD for the chicken, which might be a price for an entire chicken, but we only had about 4 or 5 small pieces on our plate. I questioned the price, and they reduced the chicken by 30,000 VD, but the meal still cost more than $10. There was another westerner who spoke a little more Vietnamese, and who was a regular, and he agreed we were overcharged and tried to argue with them. He said our best bet would be to talk to the woman in charge, who was out having a baby. He held onto our receipt to show her so she knew what happened. Regardless, it was another example of shortsightedness. Instead of us returning on a regular basis during the next two weeks, we planned to not go back. I know the few bucks means more to them than to us, and we are used to paying more for items when haggling knowing they need the money more than us, but to honestly take advantage of us in so obvious a way was disheartening, to say the least.

We did return to the restaurant once more during our stay. We were hungry and there were no other restaurants nearby that had a full menu. Every other place had pho advertised, but we needed something more substantial than the beef noodle soup. When we ordered each item, I asked them to write the amount down on the receipt. It was a different server than before and the prices were much more in line with normal. I think this experience was an anomaly. It certainly did not typify our treatment in Dong Ha.

Killing Us With Kindness

I am thoroughly convinced that Dong Ha has some of the nicest people we have ever met. Part of our treatment was probably due to the fact that so few westerners, and even fewer Americans, make their way to Dong Ha, so we were celebrities. I am certain part of our treatment was due to the eagerness of the community to learn English. We had dinners down near the river front and meals near the school. Each time we were with a small group of new friends, usually a teacher and some of their friends or family. Dinners usually involved a plastic crate of large Huda beer left at the edge of the table with a bucket of ice. After several beers, the conversation usually opened up more, even as we tried to speak slowly so that people could practice their English. Usually, people at other tables would join us, either because they knew someone at our table or because of the novelty of westerners at the restaurant. It is customary for them to sit at the table, share in our beer, clink glasses a few times and move on. The alternative is that Eric would be invited to other tables in the restaurant, usually on the way from the toilet. They would fill his beer glass and talk men talk. One of the most memorable conversations occurred during a national holiday on 2 September.

After just two days of teaching, we had the day off for the holiday. The prior evening there was a big celebration with music, speeches, and fireworks, to commemorate Dong Ha town becoming Dong Ha City. This was quite a big deal. I think the city was on a high while we were there; everyone was very proud. It rained during the fireworks, but that was okay. Like the Irish, the Vietnamese have a great deal of rain and try to turn it into a positive. The rain during the celebration meant good luck, that Dong Ha City would be even more prosperous in the future, just like the Irish claim that it is good luck if it rains on your wedding day.

We learned that the main adult activity during the national holiday was to drink. Our good friend, Mr. Hai, picked us up at 9am. We had coffee and then made our way to a restaurant near the school called Hai Yen (a good omen, as this is the name of our favorite Vietnamese restaurant in Chicago). We drank beers and ate food with Mr. Hai and his two friends, who were happy to practice their English. There was a boisterous table sitting behind us. They beckoned to Eric numerous times, and made one of the most generous offers of our stay. Essentially, Eric was invited to go down to the beach with this gentleman and his friends for just an hour. Eric was encouraged to drop me off at the hotel and spend an hour at the beach with a nice woman. It would not be a big deal because he had the rest of his life to spend with me and this would only be one hour. Mr. Hai was discouraging the man from continuing his invite saying that I was just at the next table, but the generous man was not dissuaded. He later joined us at our table and tried to encourage me to leave the party, in so many words, saying that we were now a group of six, which is no fun. A group of five is much better, and luckier than a group of six. When he left, Mr. Hai tried to say it was his culture’s way of making a joke, but I think Mr. Hai was trying to make me feel better. Although this situation was funny, it does highlight a problem in Vietnam that I will not try to espouse on here. It is normal for married men to have girlfriends and women still seem to work three times as hard as men. I hope that will change.

Although the gentlemen at Hai Yen took the generosity and hospitality to an extreme, many people we met tried their hardest to show the hospitality of Dong Ha. During our last visit, we had dinner with a chemistry teacher from Le Quy Don and her family so that her twelve year old son could practice English. This time, the family was quite generous, inviting us to dinner at the river front and inviting us over to their house. We reciprocated by trying to help everyone in the family, including their adorable little girl to practice English, and inviting their son to play baseball at the high school our last day.

During our second week I became sick. I received my first true case of travelers’ diarrhea of the trip. It started Monday night after eating seafood two nights in a row. I am not allergic to seafood, but sometimes have an intolerance or sensitivity to it, where my body does not want to digest it. I am not sure if it was the seafood, or ice, or too much heat and too little water, but I was sick all night on Monday. I tried to be a trooper and showed up for class the following morning. I only taught two classes, but I was miserable. I had a fever and chills. After taking a nap during lunch I returned to the school so that grade 11 English could perform their public speaking. I was in a room without air conditioning with about thirty students with 90 degree weather outside and I was shivering, with goose bumps on my arms. I was shivering so hard I was shaking. After that, I knew I needed to take the following day off or I was not going to make it through the rest of the week. Eric was not feeling well either, but he was better off than I was. So, I started a round of antibiotics, limited my diet to steamed rice and water and slept, a lot. On Wednesday, we sent a text to one of the teachers to let them know we were not going to be in because I was sick. Everyone was concerned. We had several calls, text messages, and emails asking if we needed a doctor or medicine. Ms. Quy and Mr. Hai from Le Quy Don even showed up at the hotel to make sure we were okay. Ms Quy provided what must be international get better soon advice - “you should have some soup.” I was told to drink lots of water.

What was even funnier was that when we arrived back at school on Thursday I was feeling a lot better, although not quite 100%! (MISSING)Eric’s name was written on the blackboard in the teacher’s lounge. Apparently, people thought Eric was sick instead of me, so everyone was very concerned, asking Eric all day if he was better. Finally, Eric started telling people - it wasn’t me, it was Amber!! He became pretty defensive when people started to baby him because of his illness. It was, however, very touching that everyone was so worried about Eric and me.

Hen Gap Lai - See You Again

Thursday night we skipped dinner, but had an event that night, that I survived. By Friday I was feeling 100%!b(MISSING)etter, which was good because Mr. Hai planned to take us to the restaurant across the street from Le Quy Don school, Lua Moi, for a farewell. I drank some beer, but drank a lot less than normal because I was trying to get my body back in order. I think I just kept letting my ice melt in my beer to take in more water than alcohol. The vice principal of the school joined us for a bit, ensuring us that he would have no problem offering us full time jobs if we decided to move to Dong Ha. Our good friend Tam joined us for some beers as well, before he left for a prior engagement. The chemistry teacher’s husband and son also joined us to continue practicing their English. Then, Eric met the tallest man in Dong Ha.

Eric is a bit of a freak over here, usually towering over the population, particularly the petite women. Many jokes have been made about his size. At Lua Moi that night, Eric was invited to drink with a large table of people dressed for tennis. It turned out they were Dong Ha traffic police, and one of them played volleyball. He was almost Eric’s size. Eric and this gentleman towered over Mr. Hai, who is used to feeling small next to Eric. We grabbed a priceless picture of the group together because Eric was so impressed with how tall the tennis and volleyball playing traffic cop was. That table also continuously poured Eric beers while he visited the table, consistently chanting “100%” in Vietnamese; bottoms up. Eric’s problem was that they kept filling his glass, but with no ice. He only spent about 15-20 minutes at the table, but he returned to our table fairly intoxicated. Mr. Hai has been waiting to see Eric drunk, but was disappointed that he was not exhibiting signs of intoxication. I assured Mr. Hai that he needed to trust me; Eric was drunk.

When we woke in the morning to be at the school by 7:30 am, Eric was still hurting. But, that did not stop him from continuing with our farewells. Several of the teachers including Mr. Hanh, who is close to retiring, took us for a very nice lunch at the local conference center. Lunch started around 10:30 am, and so did the beers. Then, after we finished our day with the students, we had a final farewell with Mr. Hai, Mr. Tam, and some of their friends at Lua Moi. Our car was scheduled to take us back to Hue at 5pm but that was changed to 9pm to allow time for a proper final “farewell.” This time at Lua Moi we had an incredible hot pot, a decent number of beers, and then a quick stop at the café across from the school before our late car finally took us to Hue. I should have expected numerous farewells, like we had last time, but we were more sad this time. We are not sure when we will be back to Dong Ha and when we will see our friends again. This time, we did not say farewell or goodbye, but learned to say see you later in Vietnamese - Hen Gap Lai! See you again Dong Ha.

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Photos

Water Buffalo
You must see some water buffalo at dinner at the Dong Ha Riverfront.

Ms. Quy at Coffee
Our Vietnamese Mother

Lua Moi
Our favorite restaurant in Dong Ha City

Mr. Hai - Not So High
We met what must be the tallest man in Dong Ha and Mr. Hai did not want to look short in the photo. He was yelling "don't take the picture with the chair."

Better
Mr. Hai looking as tall as Eric and the tallest man we saw in Dong Ha.

Tam and Hai
Our closest friends in Vietnam

One of our Farewells
From the teachers

Ms. Trang and Thanh
One of the teachers with a student at our farewell.