ONLY IN ASIA

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Only in Asia



Freedom is the greatest of pleasures and I am afraid this is something Australia is at times lacking. Don’t get me wrong, we live in the greatest country in the world. But we are becoming so obsessed with what we have and what we can get, that we are strangling ourselves with rules.

You can’t do this, you can’t do that. Whatever you do will offend someone’s liberty. That in turn, takes away everyone’s freedom. Catch 22.

This where Asia comes in.

We have hired motor bikes for the day. $7 Aussie each. No licence required, no one asks “Can you ride or not?” It is presumed that if someone wants a bike, you can ride a bike. A fair assumption I feel.

First thing required is to fuel up. For some reason every bike is always empty. I think the biggest profit made for the hirer is the fuel. Plastic drink bottles of petrol can be purchased on the side of the road. But it is a lot cheaper and safer to purchase your fuel from the cigarette smoking attendant at the Caltex outlet. At least he has a fire extinguisher on hand to douse the flames for you and your bike.

Riding along the road, one soon learns the rules. There are no rules. Only the rule’s of survival. Keep to the left and hope and pray passing cars, buses, trucks and the other thousands of motorbikes will miss you. Only in Asia!

After an hour of moto roulette we stop at an idyllic beach for a swim. Bikes are parked under trees. Good idea. No Brown Bombers here to fine you.

A shady lounge seat on the beach is purchased from a local. A cold chang purchased and as your eyes begin to close, the shops are open. Anything and everything can be purchased from the local hawkers. Sue is starting to burn and wishes she had a long sleeve shirt. Walla! A lady appears selling just the shirt she wants. Keith has been bemoaning how his children keep stealing his grooming kit. Walla! A guy comes by, with, you guessed it, the perfect four box set. No licence is required and the price is always negotiable. Only in Asia!

Some very professional looking guys have set up a parasail on the beach and Kathy and Keith have decided to put their lives in these guys’ hands and give it a go.

After some rudimentary instruction and of course the OH and S papers signed off.(what a laugh) The only paper here is Baht. The speed boat is manoeuvred through the swimmers and the rope attached to Kathy’s harness. Kathy is instructed to run towards the ocean and after the second attempt (swimmers in the way), off she goes. At the last moment, a young guy, ‘a monkey man’, leaps into the rigging of the parachute to steer. Off they soar into the sky. Quite a site as the speed boat roars across the water with Kathy and her monkey man floating behind. They do a lap of the beach and return to the same spot to land.

Landing is a very technical manoeuvre. Guys running around pointing skyward with arms outstretched, blowing whistles. It is like a scene from the three stooges. I am laughing and worrying all at once. Luckily, gravity is a very reliable force and my beloved is returned to me safe and sound.

Next it is Keith’s turn and the operators have decided a ‘monkey man’ is not necessary. Keith has been frantically inquiring how he is supposed to steer the parachute and land. The guys keep smiling and nodding “yes, yes” to his questions.

Next thing, the speed boats takes off with Keith in tow, sailing through the sky. The eventual landing is coming up and the usual waving and gesturing is going on. Keith is coming in very fast and overshoots the beach and the welcoming committee. He lands face down in the ocean. One out of ten for the diving at the Olympics but ten out of ten for survival. Only in Asia!

We leave our lovely beach and head off down the road on our bikes following the stunning coastline as we go. The hunger bugs are beginning to bite so we look for a place to eat. No McDonalds or KFC here! Plastic chairs and tables on every corner inviting us in to dine. We choose a beautiful spot, high on a headland, overlooking the waves rolling into shore. Semi outdoor of course, because the weather is always hot. Just a roof over our heads. the breeze of the ocean blowing through.

Menus are presented but are not really necessary because whatever you order they will cook for you. Why not? The customer is always right. That is the way it should be. We have our ordering down pat by now anyway!

The barefooted, long haired, sparse toothed, smiling waiter arrives and we reel off our usual. 2 large Changs and 2 cokes, as the bourbon is in our plastic bottle in the back pack. Chicken in cashew nuts, pepper and garlic squid, prawn green curry, pork and basil and a large steamed rice.

Bob Marley is playing in the background as we let life wash over us.

Only in Asia!

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