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Published: November 24th 2009
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Ive promised myself that this will only be short and sweet. It has taken alot of effort blogging but im determined to catch up to the present day so its head down and a*se up to get it done.
The last blog ended with us all stood on the back of a ferry waving a tearful fearwell to Phi Phi. On reflection we had a really good time but im not convinced yet it was my favourite place. When we leave Thailand I might do a run down or awards type ceremony of the previous six weeks and take more time to think about it. Until then we still shed a tear for Phi Phi (or it was the sea water splashing into our faces) and looked forward to Phuket. We planned to be in Phuket for 3 days and then move northwards to Ko Pahyam for a well needed chill out. You maybe be scoffing in your dinner at the thought of us needing a chill out as the perception is that we are on a permanent chill out in south-east asia but this drinking everyday lark is tough and it takes stamina. As with every race you always
need to cool down and after over 3 weeks on the road Ko Pahyam was the destination to stretch off those aching limbs.
Arrival in Phuket was no different to any other arrival in Thailand. This time though we were had numbers on our side and we had done our reading up so we knew where we wanted to stay (rather than the usual winging it strategy). In the very trusted and useful lonely planet it had recommended a place called Bazoom or Bazookas I cant remember, but it supplements the reccommendation with a useful tip of not letting the devious taxi drivers pretend they dont know where it is or say its closed because they dont get any commission from Bazookas.
So very determined we ordered a taxi and asked to be dropped to Karon beach to Bazookas. The expected response cam e'no no it closed it closed'!!! To say we were laughing inwardly was an understatement, the LP had come through like some sort of Oracle. We were adament we wanted to stay at Bazookas and nothing, not even a dastardly taxi driver, was stopping us. Fate being fate took us to Bazookas and guess what....
thats right folks it was bloody closed. It had been shut down for over 12 months and considering the LP was printed in 2007 its validity was blown out of the water. The table was well and truely turned on us and it was the (not so dastardly) taxi driver who was laughing inwardly now. Note to self- the LP is not gospel and not all taxi drivers are trying to scam you (but most still are).
We bedded down for the night but the gang split up into neighbouring places; James & Vicki & Dan & Sam opted for the 600baht hotel-like accommodation & Kate and I and Barry & Elaine chose the 150baht dorms (you can take the cheapo out of small heath!!!). Food was all you can eat pasta and drinks were in Karons attempt at a red light district but with pool tables. I would explain but im saving the red light district for Patong!!
At 12 o'clock instead of Cinderalla's carriage turning into a pumpkin it was even worse and I turned 28!!! After a very embarrassing rendition of happy birthday we finished our drinks and looked forward to our first full day
in Phuket.
The day started off as every birthday should with a full English breakfast. This was my first proper one in over a month and im glad to report all the ingredients used were English so it tasted delicious. To add insult to injury to everyone experiencing England's usual temperatures we spent the afternoon on the beach catching some waves. They were only baby ones though so nothing to get too excited about. The plan for the rest of my birthday was go-carting in the afternoon and head into the much busier Patong in the evening. As we left for go-carting the heavens opened up and didnt stop all afternoon. This put a dampener (excuse the pun) on the plans but the racing would have to wait for tomorrow.
The conversation at dinner went a little like this 'Kate- what are you wearing tonight Kieran?'
'Kieran- probably shirt and trousers'
'Kate- no your not your dressing up as a woman'
Cue Barry & Elaine wetting themselves as it then became apparent that everybody was in on it. I then said 'no im bloody not' and went upstairs to contemplate my impending embarrassment. After sulking
for 15mins I decided that I might as well 'man-up' (which is ironic as i was dressing up as a woman) and let it be. So after 20 mins of consultation, 5 mins in make-up and 10 mins trying on different outfits :-) I had done it. The laughs didnt stop until we go in the taxi wich meant i had to get drunk pretty quick before we got to Patong.
Patong in a nutshell is the biggest ladyboy area in Thailand. Patpong is renowned for its ping-pong shows, Pattaya is renowned for its sex tourism and for Patong it is LADYBOYS! The main road is about 300m long with sex bars on both sides of the road. Some of the ladies are ladies, some of the ladies are trying to be ladies and some of the ladies are not ladies. So imagine the sight of me walking down this road in womens clothes! I honestly think they thought i was serious (please look at FB photos to see how unserious i am) and I wanted to be a lady! I have never been felt up so much in my whole life, luckily Kate was there to save me!!!
All in all it was a top night and im glad I got dressed up as it was a right laugh. Some of the guys said I loved it but I just said I was playing up for the crowd but im sure you can make you own mind up. I wont be reproducing said attire on forthcoming birthdays but im certain the rest of the gang will not be getting away with it on their impending celebrations.
The following day the dormers checked into the hotel Dan & James were in for some much needed R&R. It was luxury with what we have had so far: cable t.v, A.C, double bed, chaissez lounges and hot water. Just what a aching 28 year old with mascara crusting on his eyes and smudged lipstick needed. After a few hours rest go-carting was back on and a chance for the guys to release their machismo's. Obviously we went there tore around like loons, crashed into ditches, crashed into each other and really pissed the owner off but what else was to be expected. With out new luxurious suites we all dedicided to have a quiet night and enjoy a DVD ready for our 12 hour trip to Ko Payahm. At this stage of the trip it was time to say goodbye to Jame & Vicki as they were going to Ko Samui before jetting to OZ. It was a shame to see them go as we had a good 10 days with them and they are a really nice couple. Hopefully we'll get to catch up again in OZ.
Early bird catches the worm and off we were on the first stage of our journey to Ko Payham which would see us use bus-coach-pick-up truck-speed boat-motorcycle to get to our next stop. Sounds like something from Top Gear and I'd like to say it was but you'll have to wait and see................................
K & K
xxx
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