A rat in the kitchen

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Thursday 29th August - Khota Bharu

Ready to bust of out Khota Bharu and head back to Thailand, I set my alarm for 5am and packed my bags. At 5:15 the very kind and hard working Mrs. Hang who co-runs the hostel with Mr. Hang (they’re not the owners but they seem to be on duty here 24/7 and they must be approaching their 70s) came and knocked on my door - good job as I was snoozing the alarm. Mr Hang drove me in his old car to the Malaysia / Thailand border (Rantau Panjang / Sungai Kolok) border. On the way 2 cats ran in front of the car and there was a thud as we came into contact with one. Both Mr. Hang and I jumped, and for a while I could sense his slight unease. I thought it was nice that he seemed bothered because a lot of men probably wouldn’t care. Mr. Hang dropped me off and advised me that once on the Thai side of the border, a motorbike taxi shouldn’t cost more than 50 baht to the bus stop. Strapped in to my backpack, I wished him good bye and farewell and trudged up to the immigration check point so that I could cross the bridge into Thailand.

FYI - If you're doing 'the visa run' to Malaysia, I recommend going to Penang (on the west coast) rather than Kota Bharu (east) if you have the choice. I found Penang a lot more pleasant to hang out in and the transport links from there are much better -- for example, you can get a minibus straight to your chosen destination in Thailand, but in KB you have to travel to the border first (by bus or taxi) and THEN find a bus/train to your next Thai destination. Khota Bharu the place to however if you want a cheeky trip to the Perenthian Islands.
The 9 hour bus ride from Sungai Kolok to Phuket was uneventful, although I did try and climb back on the wrong bus after a rest stop, and was worried that my bag was no longer on the seat where I had thought I’d left it. I am now resting in rainy Phuket Town.

Now I am just having a couple of days to get myself together in Phuket Backpackers Hostel in Phuket Town, (not near the beach and not like the infamous Patong area of Phuket where a man must hold on to his shirt if he doesn't want it ripped away by the many desparate and persistant prostitutes who line the streets all day and night).

Despite the resident rat that I have discovered in the kitchen, and then creeping into the common-room area at 3am, I would highly recommend 'Phuket Backpackers Hostel' it's reasonably priced, clean, has free internet, unlimited dvds to watch in the lounge or your room (especially handy for these rainy days that making venturing outside a mission), and friendly informative staff.

If you’re a fan of ‘The Beach’ then ‘On On Hotel' in Phuket Town provided the setting for the sleazy hotel bedroom scenes that Leo Dicaprio shares with Robert Carlyle. Ha, that makes it sound erotic but I mean the hotel room is sleazy, not the scenes between Leo and Rob! Perhaps I should say squalid instead.

With not much else to do in Phuket Town, I went there with an English gal named Becca and an American lad called Mike who I'd met at the hostel. We hovered near the hotel reception feeling stupid, Mike and I claiming we weren’t "that bothered" about seeing the room anyway, until Becca plucked up the courage to go ask the lady at reception.... “Erm, you know the film, The Beach....?” was all she had to say. The lady nodded “Yes. Room 38” and handed over the key attached to a chunk of wood with “38” painted on. They were obviously used to nosey tourists like us coming to have a gander.

We goofily nodded our heads whilst thanking the lady and ascended the stairs in search of this famous room. The hotel is basic but ‘atmospheric’ with little corridors leading off from an outdoor landing. There didn’t seem much sense to the room numbers so it took a while to find it. When we finally located room 38 and unlocked the padlocked door, it was a little exciting to think that big movie stars filmed scenes within these very walls. Of course, the room is in a better condition now than it was in the film and to be honest I can't really remember what it was like anyway. There wasn’t much to do once in there except to inspect the bathroom and then take pictures of ourselves trying to re-enact the movie scenes. Crazy times!

The stay in the Phuket Hostel was easy and pleasant but not particularly eventful. It was raining a lot in Phuket so my time there was mostly spent choosing cheap food from the market nearby and sitting with other backpackers in the common room watching films with terrible English subtitles and losing games of scrabble. Whilst at the nearest shopping mall, Becca and I decided it would be fun to dress up as old women and go out to some bars that evening.

Budget Shopping List for Old Lady outfits:

• 40 baht (about 80p) knee length dresses
  
• Pashminas to use as head scarves (but also to post home as a present to mum)
  
• Talcum powder to put on our hair and faces (for that aged ‘grey’ look)
  

Armed with these, Becca and I ‘old-ladyed’ ourselves up in the hostel bathroom, covering ourselves in talcum powder and trying to use brown eye shadow to give ourselves moustaches. We didn’t look like 70 year olds by the end of it. Just like weirdos, so we used eye-liner to draw on glasses which at least helped to show that we were in some kind of fancy dress as opposed to mentally unstable.

It was a fun night out. We named ourselves ‘Babs’ and ‘Betty’. I based myself on my Great Aunty Babs (Grandma’s sister) and treated ‘Betty’ (Becca in disguise) as I’ve witnessed Auntie Babs and Grandma treat each other which is to generally disagree and to bitch about each other in loud voices to who ever will listen, not realising (or caring) that the other is in ear shot. It’s good to see that Thais treat the elderly with respect.

Bab’s Evening in Phuket Town

At the first bar we arrived at there were some scandily clad hostesses outside. I told one that I was 72 and she kindly took my arm and escorted me to a seat inside the bar. Unfortunately they didn’t serve tea or sherry so I had to resort to a bottle of Heineken. Nowadays it’s sometimes difficult to hear what people are saying but there was a Thai band playing some very loud music and we blew them kisses which they returned. I like to think that when they played a rendition of Ronan Keating’s “You Say it Best (when you say nothing at all)” that it was directed towards me. Though of course Betty assumed it was about her. I let her think that as I have always been the more beautiful sister and of course am used to receiving male attention wherever we go. If it makes Betty happy to believe that a young Thai male finds her attractive, who am I to contradict her.

After some good dancing in the bar to all sorts of rock and hip-hip beats we walked for what felt a very long time to find another bar that Betty had read about in her guide book that also plays live music (I think she had realised that the Thai singer was interested in me and not her). Unfortunately when we finally arrived it turned out that the bar was closed so we sat outside and ate fruit that I had purchased from what seemed to be a very large all night fruit stall. The man was so helpful and gave us so many different exotic fruits to try, that it would have been rather rude for me not to purchase a few bags.

A young Swedish man named Fredrik had accompanied us out for the evening. Unfortunately for him he was not what one would call an attractive man. He was very tall but also carried a lot of weight. Betty was in the same dorm room as him and told me that she had seen him sprawled across his bed in the morning with a large amount of his white bottom produding from his underpants. I had allowed young Fredrik to take my arm and escort me through the Phuket Town streets (of course it is Betty who requires assistance in walking more than I. I am actually rather spritely despite my age, but I am never one to disappoint a young man who wishes to be seen on a distinguished lady's arm). Well, perhaps the ripe juicy flesh of the mangosteens had made him feel sensual, but the young man had the audacity to hold my hand as we made our way back to the hostel. Perhaps this is the way that Swedish men secure women in their home country but I for one am not to be won that way. However, I am always sensitive to men's feelings when I must rebuke them -- which I have to do quite a lot -- and so I tactfully extrciated my hand and told him I was feeling able to walk independently now.

Next stop after Phuket Town...Tiger Muay Thai camp in Chalong (Phuket)

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