The Aussie us

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After two weeks, the furthest and longest we have been apart is when we visited a beach across the bay and I swam back, whilst Mal walked and gallantly carried our stuff. It must have taken all of ten minutes. We have therefore started to look further afield for conversa-tion. This is easier said than done, as most of the mixed groups we encounter (well, eavesdrop on) have met through their diving groups or on the resorts. As we are a little more isolated in our hillside bungalow, the most likely candidates are our immediate neighbours, who on both sides are coincidentally currently British. This has been unusual up until now, when most visitors to the bay have been European - that’s not to say there would have been any communication problems, we have routinely watched newly be-friended groups of Spaniards, French and Italians conversing in perfect English that has made us truly ashamed of our British laziness with languages and made us to resolve to learn at least one language when we get home.
However Mal has discounted both sets of neighbours as potential scrabble opponents for being “weird and grumpy” (single chap to our right) or “too common” (couple to our left) By ‘common’ I think he means northern, plus the male half of the couple apparently has a “silly beard” which it seems rules them out completely. I fear at this rate no one will fulfill Mal’s exacting criteria until my uncle meets us at the airport in Auckland on December 21st.
There is one couple who we have been eyeing (well, more like stalking) as potential ‘holi-day friends’ who we have dubbed ‘the Aussie us’ because they seem to be doing every-thing we have been planning to do, just a little bit before us. The moniker bears little rele-vance to reality as they are clearly lot younger, hotter, fitter and much, much browner than us. I suspect if we did actually pluck up the courage to speak to them, they would make us feel old and tired.
Today we watched on as ‘Aussie Mal’ effortlessly kayaked single-handedly back across the bay from where you hire the boats to pick up his girlfriend near to their resort. The pair of them then paddled in unison, back past where he had hired the kayak from and off into the distance. Whilst I viewed this as an act of chivalry that flew in the face of the Australian male chauvinist stereotype, Mal said that he was “hen-pecked” and told me to “keep on dreaming” if I thought he would ever do anything similar.

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Comments

[Fat bridesmaid]

New best friends
I would hereby like to adopt the shiny updated versions of yourselves as my new best friends. I am inviting them (particularly the hen-pecked Mel Gibson) back to Brighton, where I can watch them effortlessly enjoying themselves and shunning Scrabble players. Sadly I fear that my joy in their suntanned loveliness may well dissipate rather quickly, and I would want my pale, grumpy old friends back instead. Big Love xxx