Bugs In My Belly

---

Yes, 5 to be exact. Team Grasshoppa takes the lead with 4, Team Beetle holding not-so-strong with 1. It was all fried, so yes, some people may say that it fell under the umbrella of "all fried food is yummy". There wasn't a chicken-esque taste remotely encountered here, even when eating actual chickens or with any of the other weird, unidentified meat that I ate served on a stick in Thailand. But the Beetle...which I'm gonna go ahead and announce that was top 3 most disgusting things I have ever eaten in my life. Even as I am writing this I am trying to remember the top 2 most disgusting things I have ever eaten in my life, because now that I've said 'Top 3', I gotta give you the other 2, otherwise I'm deemed only a "trash talker" and not a "trash do-er".

So, I'll have to say for sure #2 is a raw quail egg atop raw fish eggs wrapped in seaweed, OH!! That was so bad, a major surge of running yolk popped by your sharpest tooth in your mouth quickly followed by individual egg/fetus' bursting...while your lips are plastered to your teeth and you have some very bad cotton mouth from the seaweed that you forget to breathe out your nose, end up choking and spew yoke everywhere!

... and I guess I'll give #1 to raw Sea Urchin, which was the mushiest, most slimy, cross between stinky toes this-is-what-you-should-expect-seafood-freshness and underarms-oh-my-god-wash-that-smell-away-now-seafood-kinda-taste! Both times I spit food out of my mouth in a projectile manor with no attempt to conceal with a napkin...even though I love all other raw seafood and these are to be considered major delicatesins (wow, never spelled that before, and even though it takes longer to admit that I won't be using spell check, than to actually spell check it, I'm gonna leave it. #1 because I don't care too much and #2 alcohal is playing it's part in this here writing of the blog reminiscing the original memory of the fact that I ate bugs while alcohal was the main inhibitor in the event to begin with. Basically...I was drunk when I ate the bugs, that's why I ate them, and clearly...I am drunk now while writing about drinking too much and eating bugs.

Two things here...I will for sure refer to all Grasshoppers as "grasshoppa" in a soft whispery-asian voice for the rest of my life after tonight and yes, I would recommend to pluck the hard coated-sharp wings off any beetle before popping the shiny, black, crunchy body in your mouth only to be filled with major guts and glory people. The shell was sooooo spiky, and had that oh-so-lingering-affect in the mouth afterwards of getting caught between every tooth, and the little goopy yellowish/orangy dribble that escaped from the corner of my mouth was completely unavoidable, unexpected and quite honestly should have been a bit embarrassing, which is saying a lot since I don't embarrass easily (Which reminds me I better just make a short list...oh-who-am-I-kidding, a-long-list-of-most embarassing moments that have happened to me, but I wasn't actually embarrased by them at the time, but "other people"/"sober people" would have been embarrassed by... all in parathesis of this eating bugs blog. Let's go ahead and do a Top 3 Countdown...I'll try and stay focused considering we're in paranthesis...quick side note...aren't you happy I actually found the paranthesis instead of the EU version

There's a lot to choose from so, let's say #2 most embarrassing moment for me that I wasn't actually embarrassed by but should have been was, peeing my pants in the middle of University Blvd with my childhood friend Bergan and her little brother Patrick while laughing histarically at the nerve of the TCBY chick trying to act cool in front of the highschool football "letterman" dudes ordering strawberry frozen yogurt with gummi bears and sprinkles while adjusting her non-flattering 'kelly green' visor and super high-high pony tail with ribbon, while tucking in her quasi-polo shirt that the franchise owner was forced to make all his minimum wage workers wear and was too cheap to try and upgrade to a non-commercial grade fabric, but hey, it was "wrinkle-free". Even at the ripe age of oh, I dunno middle-school-ish-age I already knew that the losers that wore their letterman jackets not only within the school compound but period, in regular life, were not cool, nor were the girls who tried to act cool slash whore-ish around these very un-cool chodes. So, walking home after I got my chocolate frozen yogurt with Oreo cookies-which was clearly a very cool thing to order, I was making fun of both the high school equivalents of friggin' loser adults that they would ineveitably turn into... "daddy-do-little" and "mommy-pop-pills" later in life, so yeah, I peed, yes it was in the middle of the street, yeah, some traffic stopped and stared, yes, I had to change my pants, but no, I didn't care, because it was seriously funny.

Alright...ok...#1 is funny and it's hard to narrow it down. This was not too long after a breakup with a dude (yup, double parenthesis...I have only posted one comment on a forum here and it happens to be about my obsession of travalling and this particular boy who just had to go, cause he couldn't hang, anyways) So, myself and about 5 of my girlfriends were at a Michael Franti (aka Spearhead) show in Portland, all dancing front row staring and admiring this six and half foot tall, milk, choc-O-lot beauty with lyrics that flowed and beats that pounded, all rockin' it out... until he looks into my eyes, his gaze paused...and then his long muscular arm reaches down, the boost on my arse from the girls behind, lands me directly centre stage with his two feet of superiority in height towering over me quickly shuffling me into a 'Salsa' in front of the entire crowd~including the "dude that had to go" with all my ladies raging and cheering me on. He was leading, strong, barefoot and oh so stunning, we moved with harmony and grace for I swear to gawd~oops that one slipped~it lasted for minutes, well, at least one whole song I was in his trance of liquidity and percussion fully in-synch until one final flick of his arm and I felt the reigns slipping, I let go, I was floating in dead space, my legs buckled at the knee over the huge speaker and down I went, backwards...both legs fully in up in the air, the audience gasps, the music stops, Michael 'Chocolate Thunder' Franti (that's not really a public title, for girls eyes only) rushes over to me, helps me up, and in a final swoop, I'm on my feet, the music starts back up, the cheers increase, we finish the dance with a few fancy twirls, and then we're taking a bow to a roaring crowd of all friends and no strangers, clearly, I'm comfortable with the crowd that peered on with dropped jaws, and oh my gawd, that was you kind of looks. Note to self: ditch that bright green-apple sweater and black shiny party-pants if your gonna get pulled on stage to dance with the most beautiful man ever with green eyes to fall over the speakers in front of everyone, only to get back up, keep on dancing and then be recognized by everyone because you're in 'day-glo' attire...I don't know, I should have been embarrassed but I wasn't. )

Wow! So I ate the bugs, I didn't even hesitate, which surprises me too, but Poupe asked me if I wanted to eat with her, and I did. Shaun was mortified, and I'll probably try and eat less bugs from now on.

---

Photos

Poupe goes first
Whatevs, no biggie

OH MY GAWD!
The juice squirts everywhere!

Yup, I did it, it wasn't that good
My bellys' gonna hurt and maybe I shouldn't drink so much