The Boy With the 'Koh Phangan Tattoo'

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Disastrous, disastrous morning; after breakfast me and Ste decided to take Verity’s scooter up the road to try and hire scooters of our own from next to the 7/11. I have never ridden a scooter before and after hearing tales of the ‘Koh Phangan Tattoo’ which is basically the unsightly scars up the legs and arms of people who have stacked it on the many steep hills and hairpin bends that form the roads of the island, I wasn’t feeling too confident. I had listened to Ben and Chris a little, about how to ride one and so I decided to give it a bash. Rolling the metallic pink scooter round and starting up the engine I gave the throttle a twist and wobbled into action. The incline up and out of the resort is like something off the North Face of the Eiger, but to my surprise the bike seemed fairly capable to and I made my way shakily towards the entrance. I then signalled for Ste to jump on board, but the weight made it very difficult for me to keep us in a straight line at slow speed and we wobbled toward the side over and over again until Ste had to jump off! The concrete up and out of the bay doesn’t last for long, and soon I was bumping and swerving over the dusty 4x4 track that leads to the main road. I handled it better than I thought and in a couple of minutes I felt more confident. I signalled for ste to jump back on and we would give it another go. We swerved from side to side on the dust until I managed to get enough speed to bump us over the pot holes and crazy divets and up to the concrete main road. The hills on Koh Phangan are crazy, and there was no need for throttle the entire way down to the 7/11. I made it! With both of us in tact! Woohoo! Probably due to my super duper over cautious nature when it comes to transport!






There was only one scooter available down at the 7/11, but it was a good one, with mirrors and everything!! So we signed up for it. The owner made it quite clear we were responsible for any damage and took us to examine the marks from previous accidents! The hire was only 4 quid a day and it is about the only way to get around the island, apart from jeeps which are also uninsured and I hate to imagine what you could be liable for if anything happened one of those! Anyway, Ste was going to ride our new scooter back, and I would just take Verity’s. But virtually the instant he fired it up and tried to apply the throttle, it shot forward, across the road and smashed into a pile of dry mud and rubble on the other side of the road! “BRAKE BRAKE” I shouted!! But it was too late. The scooter was on the floor with Ste underneath it. Shit, I thought, we are going to have to pay through the nose for this! Ste and scooter were already upright by the time I made it over. Initially I just thought it would be the bike that was damaged until I saw blood pouring from wounds on his hand, leg and foot. The owner obviously heard the commotion and was already crossing the road “Sorry” I said “He not know how to ride scooter, I think not a good idea now” She agreed “Yes, I think not good idea” another lady came rushing out with first aid and iodine to drop onto the wounds. “You must go doctor” she said. Of course, Ste then had to examine all the damage to the right side of the scooter, while I played with some fat grunting pug dog in the reception. The damage came to 120 quid but the lady did it for half price because we didn’t argue about paying. I just sat there being glad that Ste evaded being hit by any oncoming traffic! “I like you” she said “I like, cause you no argue asking more and more discount from me when it not my bike but my boss, I don’t want you be upset” I was just thinking, fair enough, we trashed the bike. We can’t really argue with the fact that we trashed it!





We made a slow move back to the resort with Ste rather worse for wear, on the back of undamaged scooter. We bounced back down the dirt road to greet the others with “what is the worst scenario that you could imagine to have happened!” Everyone cringed at Ste hand and laughed at just how ridiculous it all sounded. “Enough action for one day” I insisted when Verity suggested I get a scooter and Ste sit on the back...”I’ve had it with scooters!!” It took a great deal of antiseptic, bandage and tape to dress all the wounds but there is no bandage large enough to restore his pride!

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Photos

Petrol Station
No Smoking!

Haad Sala Beach
beautiful