Turn down Thailand tour buses .. travel by third class train!

---

So, after a smooth night ferry, complete with beds, from Koh Tao we landed at Chumphon, right on the south western tip of Thailand. It was 5am and we hopped on a sangthaew to get to the train station. A train to Bangkok was scheduled for 6am and we got tickets for a paltry 80 baht each (less than a quid!). An announcement came over at 5.55 to say the train was delayed til 7.30.

We whiled away the time playing cards (rummy) and noticed a swaying Thai guy watching with interest. When I got up to use the loo, he sat down and signalled to Mike that he wanted to play. Mike dealt him in. He then tried to bet, but Mike shook his head. They played several rounds (I was relegated to watcher) and the guy picked up the game quickly, laughing uproariously every time he made a run, and asking each time if they could gamble, luckily Mike kept saying no! A few hands in he produced a bottle of whiskey, which he began sipping from and offered to us. We politely declined, with smiles and shakes of our heaqds ... it was before 7am after all! After a while, and even more laughter for no apparent reason, he got up and staggered off. we were alittle relieved - he'd been fun for a couple hours but we didn't really want to spend a 10 hour train trip with him, particulalrly as he was getting more and more drunk!

Eventually, the train arrived and we found ourselves some seats. There are trains to major stations eartly every morning which are free to locals and uber-cheap to foreigners. They're 3rd class trains, which, in Thailand, means a vinyl covered bench rested across a metal frame in a slow carriage, but the experience is well worth the relative discomfort! I say the benches are 'rested' because mine wasn't bolted down, twice I shifted position to relieve my sweaty buttocks and moved the bench with me, sending it. myself and the passenger next to me tumbling down into the metal frame … luckily the passengers had a sense of humour and found it funny!!

As we rattled through craggy rocky jungle vistas, rubber plantations, paddy fields, cities and farmland groups of women got on and off touting their wicker baskets of banana leaf wrapped rice, fried chicken, meats, fruits and vegetables at ridiculously low prices. The key is to stop one of them and peer into the basket...it's impossible to decipher what they're calling out as they wander the aisles unless you're fluent in Thai! All of it seemed to be rattled off with a rising, sing song inflection almost always ending in an elongated, nasal 'Aaaaa' sound which made the carriage sound as though it were full of sheep!
Inevitably, the train was delayed and the 10 hour journey to Bangkok actually took closer to 16 hours, but it was well worth the cheap ticket and sweaty seat!

After a night in Bangkok, we were up before dawn again to catch the early morning bargain train to the Cambodian border. Again we were frequented by women selling food, though not as many or as great a range of options as on the Chumphon – Bangkok train, and again the locals were friendly and smiling. Us Westerners were a rare sight on theses trains and we were subject to a giggling troupe of schoolgirls taking poictures on their phones and pushing one another to the empty seats next to us until one of them mustered up the courage to sit next to the 'farang'! This time it was mike who accidentally ousted his neighbour on the rickety seats sending the poor woman sprawling, but helping her up and apologising. She smiled, laughed and later shared her green mango with us. What a difference to the reaction you'd have gotten in England! On the journey we chatted to a fellow Brit who ran a bar in Thailand and told us about the trains being special government funded ones free to locals and saw more rolling countryside. Tuk tuk drivers and moto drivers ran alongside as the train pulled into each station, eager to get a fare … we prepared ourselves for chaos when us white folk stepped off at the end of the line!

If you really want to experience 'real' Thailand, shun the air conditioned tourist buses, 1st class trains and flying and instead go to the local bus and train stations and sit in 3rd class – it's cheaper and far more authentic, even if you have to suffer a little discomfort! We used this method everywhere and would not have had it any other way!

---