Death Brings New Life

who is terry snipe?

Someone asked me "who is Terry Snipe?" so I thought I would respond. Terry was a gentle man that I had the pleasure to meet in January (just after the tsunami) while working as a tsunami volunteer in Thailand. He was from New York City and worked as a flight attendant for Delta Airlines. He was soft-spoken, kind and had a special calmness that surrounded him. My travel and dear friend, Christine, who was with me and knew Terry, was to meet him again in June 2005 when she returned to Khao Lak, Thailand. Numerous attempts to contact him via email and cell phone didn't seem to raise him, and we all became concerned about his stealthness. After tirelessly trying to find Terry's whereabouts, we discovered that Terry had passed away unexpectantly. I believe he was no older than 32. We also have a belief that he somehow knew his fate and his time in Thailand helping those in need after such a horrific disaster was his way of doing something meaningful and fulfilling. He had lost his brother from the same ailment (corornary we have heard, but not confirmed) just months before. We will all miss him immensely and so will the children of Ban Nam Khem, Thailand.

I think I was the one who advised most, including Christine Creel of what had happened to Terry....He died May 15, 2005, not found until May 19 alone on 2 W 120 in Manhattan. Terry was truly my soulmate...the one true love of my life...I was with him in Atlanta just 7 days before he died...he was fine..but he was always on the go, always tired, working with Delta and the jet lag, and always thinking of others, never really of himself, a truly selfless man...Yes, Terry was born Feb 4, 1975...the good die young....his mother died young, his youngest brother died before him, then God took him home and that same July 2005, his oldest brother died, supposedly a drowning, but the coroner in Manhattan, Dr. Hayes and myself had become closely in contact with eachother...he said it probably was a heart defect and just happened that he was in a public swimming pool, not likely that a grown man truly just "drowned"....I put a blog out on the Tsunami guestbook, and I was getting so many emails from people who had been touched by Terry and his kindness, his concern for welfare of others...not a bad word was ever said...in all of it, I got some photos from the UK, then got some closure that I needed so badly in my time of being alone with just his memories...like so many other people who he had touched and they never forgot what a wonderfully kind, respectful, decent human being he was...then a girl in Thailand that he had a relationship with in the past contacted me...we have remaind email friends...she also sent me two pictures that I cherish, and Terry spoke to her of me, and she said to me, remember he loved you...I believe he did. I think of Terry almost daily still, his photo in a frame by my headboard before I go to sleep. Terry loved the Thai people, and said it was like his second home. Terry loved people, and loved life, and loved helping others.....always in my heart, the last man I will ever love....He would have continued to go back to help rebuild, but he was not given more time on this earth. Rest in peace, a big man with a big beautiful heart and soul. My email is lexseec@hotmail.....if anyone still cares to share a story of the goodness of this man. Thank you John for never forgetting him.

I very much enjoyed reading about your experiences in Thailand, especially since they included remembrances of Terry. As you know, Terry was such an extraordinary man. It's almost ironic that he died of an enlarged heart when his heart and his capacity to help others was indeed quite large. Terry and I were together for over 2 years. In those 2 years I saw the most AMAZING person that I've ever been privileged to witness in my entire life. His selflessness and generosity were totally incalculable. It was I who first told Terry of the tsunami that hit his beloved Thailand.......and his reaction was totally predictable. "I've got to go," was his first thought and "of course you do" was my response. He had around 10 days off to be there and when he was due back for work in New York he said to me, "I'm not ready to come back yet.....there's still soooo much for me to do here!" I told him, "Call in sick. Make up SOMETHING! ANYTHING! There's nothing at Delta Air Lines that is more important than what you are doing there." He then came up with a lie that confused people after his death.........he told Delta that he had been hit by a board during rebuilding homes and that he had a concusion. (erroneously, some people thought that this may have caused his death 5 months later....) Terry and I were in love and were making plans to live together. A few weeks before he died, and while we were solidifying all of our plans, he took me out to dinner and told me that he had something very important to tell me. I had absolutely NO idea where he was going with this so.......I went with much trepidation. Finally the time came that he had to tell me and he said, "You know how much it meant to me to go to Thailand and help out with the tsunami relief, right? and I have to say, I feel that I'm not here in this world to just take but rather to give back.........I feel a really calling for that. So...........there are going to months that I am going to fly as much as possible so that the next month I can go and help out wherever I am needed. I just wanted you to know that before we moved in together because I thought it would be unfair to you if I didn't tell you that upfront." and my response? "Oh my God, Terry..........that only makes me love you more! and hopefully I'll be able to do the exact same thing and be able to go with you and help out too!" And ironically, the city where we were first together, where "Terry and Jaycey" took root, was in New Orleans. I know, without a doubt, that he would have been the first one there helping out after hurricane Katrina. And THAT is.........was...........Terry Snipe. The most incredible man that I have ever known..........and in all likelihood, WILL ever know. Nothing can prepare you for what happened. If anyone cares to know, this is how his last days went............ I was at a relative's on Saturday, May 14th. I called him at midnight and he told me that he didn't feel well..........that he thought he had the flu. I knew that I had woken him up so I told him to go back to sleep and I would call him the next day. That was followed by a "barrage" of "I love you's" (as was our "custom"..........and let me just say.........THANK GOD FOR THAT!.........I know that the last words Terry ever said to me was "I love you"..........). Around noon the next day I called and got no response. He had a trip (to Paris) that day so I just assumed that he felt better and was on his way to the airport. I left a message saying that I guess he felt better and was on his way to JFK......and for him to call me and leave the Paris layover phone number so that I could call him on his layover (which we always.....ALWAYS......did for each other). Well, on Monday morning I was dropped off at the airport and I turned on my phone, TOTALLY expecting a message from Terry yet...........there was none. Oh my God, I STILL remember that feeling because he had NEVER gone more than 2 days without him leaving me some kind of a message.................ever!! But..........as upset as I was, in my mind I was totally making excuses for him. When I got home to Dallas I thought, I'll call him a little before his pick-up time in Paris..........which will be around midnight here. I got on the computer and looked at his schedule to get the phone number in Paris and...........I saw that he had called in sick! I IMMEDIATELY called him but...........no answer. I said, "Terry...........I see that you called in sick for your trip today so..........wow.............you're not there so...........I guess you've gone out with your friends so............CALL ME!.............I don't care WHAT time it is! I just need to know that you're okay............" and then I went to bed. The next morning, when I woke up and he hadn't called, I went into a panic. I waited until noon and then started calling him. No answer. I was friggin' OUT OF MY MIND but............of course I started making excuses for him. His mom had died in May (and, ironically, in the very same apartment!!) and he made a "pilgrimage" each year to her gravesite in upstate New York.............and I told myself, "Okay...........he's gone to see his mom............he forgot his cell phone and he doesn't have my numbers memorized so he can't call.........." I must have left over 200 voicemails on his answering machine over the next 3 days and then on Thursday, May 19th, I knew that he had reserve days. I had a Paris trip and went up to NY. I checked his schedule throughout the morning but they hadn't given him anything. By the time I got to NY, I went in to talk to one of the supervisors and he pulled up Terry's schedule. In the time that I had last checked his schedule and now, they had assigned him a trip and had no response. That was it. I got on the computer and found the closest police station and asked them to check it. Less than an hour later a NY dectective called me back and said that they had gone to the apartment and, yes, they found a body. !!!!! TRULY I never expected there to be a body there............I only called NYPD to rule OUT that possibility. and at first, I tried to fool myself by saying "It could be somebody else...........it may not be him!............" yet..............I knew otherwise. There is just NO WAY that he would have gone that long (4 days!) without contacting me............no way. The detective called me throughout the evening requesting "identifying marks" and such. It just KILLED ME when he would respond with, "Well yeah, we really can't tell............." And then there really wasn't any "next of kin". Terry's mom had died 5 years earlier, one of his brothers had been killed over 10 years prior, his other brother was in prison, his dad, well, had never been a dad to him and so.............his only "blood" relative was his brother's daughter. So............I had to go to the morgue and identify the body. I have to say that this was something that I TOTALLY wanted to do............ I never understood what "closure" meant until I truly TRULY needed it............wanted it...............NEEDED it. But..............my girlfriends wouldn't let me see him............ they felt that that would have been much too much for me. and then the girl from the coroner's said that she didn't think that ANYONE should see him...........that he was in "really bad shape"............ !!!!! my two girlfriends went and looked at pictures that were taken of him in his apartment and came back and said, yes, that was him. I KNEW it was him but at the same time, it just seemed so impossible. He was only 30!!!! As we went to leave the coroner's, I found that my feet just couldn't move. I "knew" that that wasn't "Terry" in there but yet, I found that I just couldn't walk out that door and leave him all alone........ my heart was shattered into a million pieces and I just couldn't leave him all alone. So, in conclusion, thank you everyone who has beautiful memories of Terry. I can say from my personal experiences that I am SO MUCH MORE better of a person now because of him! I love Terry Snipe. in both life and in death. I am SUCH a better person for having had him in my life. without ANY doubt. Jaycey