The toilet situation in Thailand--not for the light hearted!

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Bathrooms. There's not much to them you would think. You have your average toilet with the seat that you are able to sit on for hours if necessary and a flusher. Not much to it right? Well here you have a variety of toilets to chose from. Well most of the time you don't get a choice, you get what you get. So far, I've encountered six types in Thailand.

One. THE TYPICAL TOILET. There are some that have the normal flusher but most have two flushing options, one for light waste (aka number 1) and one for heavier waste (aka number 2). These are heavenly whenever you get lucky enough to run across one.

Two. THE NON-PAPER WASTE TOILET. This is what I have in my apartment. I am forced to throw my used toilet paper in a plastic bag next to my toilet. It could be worse though

Three. THE SQUATTER WITH A FLUSHER. I dread any type of squatter toilet. These toilets are porcelain holes in the ground. There are ridged sides where you place your feet and then you take a squat and go for it. Here guys have it easy yet again! All a guy has to do is point and shoot! I'm very jealous because as most girls will complain… no matter how hard you try to position yourself you will 99%!g(MISSING)et pee on your shoes and maybe leg. It's disgusting. Oh, also, it's practically impossible to use these toilets whilst wearing jeans… I don't really want to go into what you have to do to take a number 2 on these toilets… but I've found that switching directions of your squat helps with the aiming into the hole… ya…

Four. THE PODIUM SQUATTER WITH A FLUSHER. I've only ever encountered these in Thailand. They are even worse than the porcelain holes in the ground. Take the porcelain hole in the ground and then elevate it! This means that you have to position your feet on the toilet and then manage to keep your balance as you go so that you keep from falling into your own waste. Let me tell ya… those toilets can get slippery and I've had a few too many close calls for my liking. Now one might say, "just keep your feet on the ground on the sides of this podium squatter so that you don't have to keep your balance." Well easier said than done buddy. If you position your feet on the sides of the toilet then when you squat that means your that much closer to actually sitting on the pee infested podium.

Five. THE PODIUM SQUATTER WITHOUT A FLUSHER. So this is the worst by far. Especially for a germaphobe like me! Take everything that I said about a podium squatter with a flusher.. Take away the flusher. Next to the podium squatter typically is a basin filled with water and a bucket. What you do to "flush" your waste away is take the bucket, fill it with water, and then pour it into the podium squatter. It should take about 1 to 3 buckets to flush your waste away depending on the type and amount of waste you are trying to "flush". So how this toilet works is your literally just pushing your waste down into the ground with water. There's no power to the flush so I imagine a pipe filled with waste just moving slowly down with every new bucket pour. This type of toilet really bothers me because not only am I forced to squat, keep my balance, try not to pee on my shoes/feet/leg (always fail), and sometimes have to switch directions (tmi sorry!) but now I have to grab the same bucket everyone else does right after using the toilet. Even in the states, I use my foot to flush the toilet to avoid contact. Here, it's unavoidable and absolutely my worst nightmare! Lucky for me, these are the toilets made available to me at my school (enter sarcastic tone). I'm forced to use these on a daily basis.

Six. THE SQUATTER WITHOUT A FLUSHER. Same idea as the podium squatter without a flusher just minus the balance act involved.

So now you know. These are the options I have run across so far in Thailand. There are also varying degrees of cleanliness of each type. I've seen worse than a truck stop toilet now.. Never thought I'd see the day. This is probably one of my biggest cultural adjustments that had to be made to live here. Something as personal as going to the toilet takes quite a bit getting used to in these different situations. I'll keep practicing my squat and maybe one day I will manage not to pee on myself.

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Photos

podium squatter without a flusher
This is the one I use daily at school... fun times.
See what I mean by balancing act?

Normal toilet
At my first apartment that we quickly moved out of... for reasons shown

Non-paper waste toilet
my current apt toilet