Benziger's Law: buses, blood sausages, monkeys and bruises

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This weekend was pretty much quintessential Thailand: Everything that could possibly go wrong did (Benziger's Law: Co-opted from Murphy because he's JV compared to me), but still managed to be a great time. Here's the timetable of events:

1. Leave Friday for a Jazz Festival on the Beach a few hours South. Get off on the wrong stop. Find out I have to take a van 30km across town to get the right bus. Get on the van only to realize I could have taken the subway to another bus station 10 minutes away. Van takes 1.5hrs because it's rush hour.

2. Get to the right bus station. Try to throw down some food before getting on the next bus. Buy what I think is beef. Immediately inhale a piece. Realize it's actually my worst nightmare - coagulated chicken blood sausage (a staple of the thai diet. tastes exactly like you would imagine cat food to be like)

3. Think i'm on the bus for 1.5 hr. Turns out I took the local bus. Takes 4 hrs and stops in every small town on the way.

4. Arrive in Petraburi at my friend Candida's place. awesome.

5. Go to see some caves on Saturday morning. There are monkeys everywhere in Petraburi. It's amazing. They are climbing on the telephones poles. sitting next to you at restaurants and just generally around. Amazing to see them so close and realize how similar to humans they are. There are about 300 at the caves that we go to. They bring out food to feed them and they go nuts. I look at one and make the mistake of making eye contact. He gets this crazy look in his eye and RUNS at me. I immediately start shrieking and throwing my water at him. The thai people think this is incredibly funny.

6. Go into the caves which are amazing. There are huge underground buddha statues everywhere and giant stalagmites. I take out my camera to take a picture, step on the stairs and promptly eat shit. Slide down about 10 stairs goonies style and break the camera lens.

7. Leave covered in mud from the caves. The thais also think this is incredibly funny. Candida and I get on her motorcyle to go home and shower and go to the festival. On the way back, she runs straight into a turning car. Luckily only got a few scrapes and bruises, but the motorcyle died. Have to explain to the cops why i'm covered in bruises and dirt already. Turns out the people we hit were going to the festival too and offer us a ride. Huge difference in how the scenario would have played out in America!

8. Finally make it to this awesome little beach town called Hua Hin and spent the day and night listening to jazz on the beach. amazing.

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