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Published: March 27th 2011
Cheongju
The view from CheongjuDear Blog Readers,
Last week’s blog sparked some interesting discussions. In particular was the stalkerish nature of the high school girls, and specifically, the “What is your blood type?” question. Chef Chris told me that people have matched blood type with personality traits. I decided to investigate further and found this description for my blood type:
“They are very studious type of person, and will try not to hurt anyone with their words or speak unnecessarily. They are decisive, but not thoughtless with their decisions. They like to follow the latest trends and dress up, but not in a flashy or gaudy way. Their career ends up commonly as an accountant, librarian, economist, novelist, computer programmer, gossip columnist.” Is it me or does this seem worryingly accurate? They could have replaced the blurb with, “Very boring individual,” and it would have sufficed. Worried by the impression that the students now have of me due to my blood type personality, I planned to walk into Wednesday’s classes like a slob, having not shaved for a week and smelling badly. I would shout at the students and thoughtlessly decide not to teach them any English. I would dress in rags
Women's Football
It was a grand affair! and tell them that my career as a stunt car driver is my destiny. That should do the trick.
Laura’s blood type personality was also uncannily accurate, it simply stated:
”G-Market Shopaholic.” As an astronomer, I take more concern over light pollution than most. I also believe that we are not alone in the Universe. Not because I’m one of those weird Area 51 nut jobs but because it is almost certain statistically that the conditions that we have experienced on this planet have been or will be replicated in the billions upon trillions of other planets in the Universe. However, on Monday evening, I genuinely thought I was turning into one of those weird Area 51 nut jobs because, it seemed like, an alien space craft had landed in Boeun.
Upon closer inspection, I realised where all the money in Boeun’s county office had been ploughed into – the stadium. I’ve commented on this before, but just to reiterate, Boeun has a sports complex that would rival The Birdsnest in the Beijing Olympics. Well, maybe that is an exaggeration, but it is simply ridiculous considering the size of Boeun. Take a look on Google Maps
Packed Audience
The whole of Boeun turned up! to see it in all its oversized splendour. Overnight, they had seemingly erected four of the largest floodlights I’ve ever seen. They’re so big, they need those red flashing lights on the top of them for planes which never pass over Boeun! The light that shines down on the stadium is sufficient to outshine anything in the city and it illuminates most of the sky above it.
With sunglasses poised, Laura and I sat down with Julie, Angela, Chris and Betty for tonight’s game, I was about to grumble about the light pollution before being heckled by, what seemed to be, nearly every student that I teach. The stadium was absolutely packed. The opening ceremony was typically Korean in its ridiculousness – cue the line of important looking suited and booted Koreans who had to kick a football in unison from the half way line towards one of the goals for no reason. Some high school girls gave me those inflatable sticks that you hit together and I got given some silk-worm larvae which tasted just like it smelled…sweaty socks smothered in faeces. Now it was time to see what all the fuss was about…
This year, Boeun
Hiking Group
The group hiking along Sandongsamseong Fortress! is hosting the Korean Women’s Football League. I’ve no idea how they managed to do it or why the head of the Korean’s Women’s Football League would think it would be wise to host the games in a town that nobody has heard of in Korea. Anyway, the whole of Boeun turned out in force to support the event and it gave the statisticians a good opportunity to do a quick head count of the population. The stadium was packed, soju was being poured, kimchi was being eaten and the ajumma’s were having a field day collecting all the cardboard boxes littering the seats. Every Monday until September, the Women’s games are being played at Boeun. It’s on TV and everything. The final score was 2-2 but nobody could work out what the teams were called and who was playing in which colours – pretty much the bare minimum needed to enjoy a game of football.
The excitement from the previous evening’s activities meant that my Grade 2 students were out of control. Mr Oh had to deliver some rice to some poor people so I was left stranded for two lessons. On more than one occasion I felt
like giving up and walking out. It’s the first time I’ve felt it since being in Korea but I was so angry how the students were reacting. In hindsight, what angers me most, is that in the demographic of a 35 student class, there are 15 that really want to learn English, 15 who are content to behave themselves even though they don’t like the subject and 5 of them who are a complete nightmare. What destroys me is that it is those 5 students who ruin it for everybody else. The last laugh was on them though – having taken down their numbers during the class, I was relieved to see all of them knelt on the floor outside the teachers office with their hands in the air for over an hour in the afternoon.
After a nightmarish Tuesday, things could only get better for Wednesday. The words of Brian Cox and D-Ream were quickly changed to the screams of the high school girls. I couldn’t have wished for a better day. The lessons went well, the girls gave me sweets as I entered the classroom, the conversation was flowing and it was a pleasure teaching. All of
New Haircut
Wearing worryingly similar outfits. Is this couples fashion? the negativity from yesterday was dissipated. On the way home, Leonard couldn’t have described it better, “Teaching is a roller-coaster of emotions.” That would be a good name for a D-Ream song.
I know the next topic will strike a chord with almost every native teacher in South Korea – computer viruses. The software that is installed on the school computers is beyond terrible. It’s called AhnLab and it is Korean. For a school Korean computer technician, the latter statement can be roughly translated as, “Literally, the best anti-virus software in the world. Much better than anything that has come from China.” For all native teachers, it translates as, “Abysmal anti-virus software with no chance of deciphering how to use the program.” Leonard was plagued with a nasty virus on his USB stick earlier in the week. Luckily, my laptop running Linux saved the day and recovered it. The virus was so obvious that it had made its own ‘VIRUS’ folder. AhnLab failed to detect it. Maybe whoever created the virus was thinking creatively and outside the box.
Laura suffered at school too. However, and this is advice to all native teachers, download Avast software. It’s free and
Dog Meat Shop
Our meeting point. easy to us. Do a boot time scan which scans the computer before Windows loads up so it stops any viruses initially installing. Also, once the boot time scan starts, press 4 to move all the viruses it has found into the virus chest. Then turn off your screen. This is essential because otherwise you will be hounded by Koreans who think your computer has died. It will take about half an hour. I did it on my one at the high school and it detected no less than 182 viruses! 182! I’ve no idea how the computer was still working!
It is quite common for food to be offered to everybody in the teacher’s office on a morning. On Friday morning, there was a selection of bread on the table. I went for the plain looking one but after one bite, still with the fresh toothpaste taste in my mouth, I munched down on a piece of garlic bread. Absolutely gutted.
The third graders were pretty good fun considering it was a Friday morning. Maybe their energy to cause chaos has slowly dissipated during the week or maybe over the space of a few short months that
Interview
Note the comical pink microphone. Seconds before the attack! they’ve matured enough to not bother. Some of the third graders have fought against the system this week by getting their heads shaved en masse! I applaud their courage and group mentality to flout the school rules. Of course, I don’t tell them that in person. Instead, I show a picture of a kid crying getting his hair cut and a picture of somebody with normal hair and pose the question, “Which do you prefer?” One of the students who got his head shaved replied with, “I prefer normal hair because my head is cold.”
“A good looking rice cake is easier to eat.” – A Korean Proverb In a society where image means everything, it is probably the last place on Earth that you would want to do anything too drastic to your image. The less attention you draw to yourself, the better. Of course, this advice falls on deaf ears to Laura who has decided to get all her hair cut off. The only solace I can find is that at least it isn’t another bloody tattoo. I will make sure she notes down as many back-handed compliments as she can for next week’s blog.
Michelle
Michelle getting mauled by the dogs. Update: The hair cut has occurred. She looks a bit like Peter Pan crossed with a 1980s Annie Lennox. The initial shock has subsided now and I think it’s turning into a grower.
Whilst Laura was getting her hair cut and shopping with Sabrina, I decided to take my one of the English teachers at my school, Mrs Hong, up on her offer of going up to see Sandongsamsang fortress. She was going with a group of friends and I decided to join in which was really good fun. There were a couple of Korean-Americans and the rest were English teachers. After a beautiful walk around the fortress with breath-taking photos of Cheongju, we decided to visit a really cool, rustic restaurant which made its own tofu! Back in Boeun, we decided to show Sabrina the sights and sounds of Boeun, a.k.a the main street. She responded with, “So…is that it?” Our only response was, “It does have a Baskin Robbins.” It didn’t seem to sway her with confidence. I was then sledgehammered with the news that Lotteria (Boeun’s own McDonald’s) is closing for refurbishment. The competition is getting fierce.
Today we had planned to go on a
Chris
Chris with his bear of a dog. dog walking trip at the Boeun Animal Protection Centre. Michelle works there and she’d organised getting a load of us together to walk the dogs. We met up outside a shop selling dog meat and made our way to the shelter. There was a huge group of us so luckily all the dogs got to have a walk. My dog was more bear than dog. The lead wasn’t even as big as the dog. I chose him because it was one of the few times that, when stood up, I could look at him in the eyes. I initially called him Gadaffi but thought this would be emotionally, physically and mentally insensitive so I named him Winston instead. A man from KBS news turned up to do some filming so we got a few interviews done and he filmed us all walking the dogs. He also had a comical bright pink microphone which was a nice touch. To be honest, I thought he was probably gutted because not much had really happened that was news worthy. However, all that was about to change…
Laura and Sabrina’s dog had been particularly aggressive during the walk. So much so that they
Winston
Me and Winston. Chilling. had to keep the other dogs away from him otherwise they would get bitten. He was perfectly fine with humans though. Anyway, at the end of the walk, Joey was holding the angry dog whilst Michelle interviewed her with the comical pink microphone. Julie’s dog, Destun, was wandering around until all of a sudden the angry dog snapped and began biting Destun!! All hell broke loose! Michelle was smacking the angry dog with a pink microphone whilst Julie tried to get Destun away from its bite. Luckily, Julie and Destun came away with just a few cuts - it could have been a lot worse! The cameraman thought after this horrific ordeal, the best thing would be to stick a camera in their faces. He’d just got the (poop-a-)scoop.
Tink and Laura
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Harriet Patterson
non-member comment
hello!
Firstly - I am so crap at keeping in touch I can only apologize a billion times over. I read messages, think I'll reply later and then never do. Reading you blogs is great though don't get to reading them all but when i do they're always very amusing and of course interesting. Firstly, I love laura's hair I think it looks great. Secondly, what a horrible dog incident! Thirdly that football game sounds like a great occasion - not knowing who is who or what's going on is how I spend every football match I've ever watched so it sounds perfect to me. Oooh also that punishment sounds awful...kneeling on the floor with your hands in the air for an hour?? Is that instead of writing lines or whatever? Sounds pretty harsh to me. Does it work? Overall though sounds like you're really enjoying the teaching which is great :) Keep up the fab posts! xxxxx