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Published: February 18th 2008
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Cooking Supper
The mother in my host family kept cooking fabulous new things for me to try, like squash flowers. The women and children in Hacienda Luicita made quiet and impression on me this week. In my exposures I have not typically been in situations to really explore the gender relationships around me, but living with these people for 5 nights really gave me the chance.
As a result of the continued land struggle the Hacienda stills has a really feudal feel even in its daily activities. The women, as a result, don't seem to play strong roles in the community. I learned very few of their names and was unable to communicate with many of them because of my lack of Tagalog and their lack of English. I spent most of my time in the Hacienda with the men talking about organizing and farming and community leadership. The women, however, seemed to put much more effort into trying to share with me.
When I wasn't with the men during my second placement in the Hacienda I spent time sitting on my host family's front porch watching the community activities and listening to discussions between neighborers. Though most of these discussions are in Tagalog Filipinos are extremely expressive in tone and I found myself often able to follow the
mood of the conversation even when I can't follow the subject matter. The women often found their way to the porch in between cooking the meals, hand washing the laundry and taking care of the kids, to sit with me. Though we couldn't speak to each other they often smiled shyly at me and encouraged me to hold and play with their kids. The younger girls of 15 and 16 talked to me in broken English about my age and relationship status and conveyed the information to the other women. Everyone was really pleased to tell me how old their children where and how many they had. Most of the women I met where slightly older then me, between 26 and 30, with a couple of toddlers and an infant in their arms. The women of the Hacienda usually have large families, averaging between 4 and 8. They seem to live close to their mothers and sisters, making raising such big families easier and more communal.
They seem to share immensely between each other, and shared as well with me. I was offered star apples and fresh sweet breads to eat in the afternoons, and combinations of local vegetables and slightly more expensive fish for supper. They all smiled and laughed as my host mother told them stories about what things I had tried and liked, and what shows had watched with them the night before. She told them laughing heartily about me trying homemade chewing tobacco and having to spite it embarrassingly into my hand within minutes because of its strong taste. My last afternoon in the Hacienda they even painted my finger and toe nails bright pink as they sat in the porch doing each other's nails and gossiping. I was really pleased that these women, who could not communicate with me, tried to include me in their lives, showing me how they lived and what roles they played in the community. Though I had a hard time understanding their lack of a prominent role in the politics that seems to overwhelm the Hacienda I tried to see life as best as I could through their eyes.
The lives of the women in the Hacienda seems to circle around the lives of the children. There where more children in these communities then I have ever seen anywhere else in the Philippines or Canada. Running in packs of neighbors and cousins they played from dusk until dawn, a constant amusement for the older people watching them from doorways and yards. The kids themselves seemed endlessly amused by my presence. The women laughed as they trailed along behind me. Only out in the rice fields was I not followed by little bare feet and baby ducks. Holding the new pets the kids would show them to me to pet, would ask me my name and would skip away laughing when I would talk to them in English. When I had down time and would read in my host family's house the kids would watch me through the open slats of the window. When tried to go to the community Valentine's Day dance with the women the 40 children running around the basketball court turned dance floor circled me and stood staring. Nothing would persuade them that I was not wonderfully interesting. The women laughed more when their children shyly brushed past me through the crowd to touch the bare skin o my legs and arms.
It was extremely heartwarming to spend my week within this community of gentle women and happy, brown eyed kids. They tried as hard as they could to make me feel at home and to include me in their lives, across language and cultural barriers that could have been insurmountable. I don't think that I could live the life of a women in Hacienda Luicita, relegated to the spheres of home and children, but I appreciate deeply that they wanted me to understand them and their lives.
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