Adventures in Plumbing Land

---

Today i would like to tell you a story about what happens when you undo the sink plumbing of a Soviet era building.

Imagine if you will... a daycare. A daycare filled with bright-eyed happy children. Now imagine this same daycare is suddenly struck with THE STOMACH FLU. We're talking both ends ladies and gentlemen. Yes that's exactly what it was like. My sink has been clogged for over a week now and since no one from the organization has bothered to call a plumber (apparently they don't have Draino here) I decided “fuck it. I'll do it myself.” Chalk this up as one of my less brilliant ideas.

Step 1. Find long pokey thing to snake down the drain. AHA! A knife sharpener.
Step 2. Stick probey thing down drain and swivel.
Step 3. OH MYYYYYYYYYYY GOD!! EWWWW! *retch retch choke choke*

Translation being: the tubing popped right off the bottom of the sink and proceeded to spew BLACK DISGUSTING SLUDGE all over the floor and all over me.

If I may... imagine the smell of stinky feet, meets college dorm vomit, MEETS THE BOWEL QUIVERING FOUL STENCH THAT COMES FROM DECOMPOSING BODIES!

I almost threw up... several times. But somehow I managed to hold it together long enough to pull the piping off its connection completely and run it to the shower. Here I spent some time banging the disgusting smelling sludge out of it. I really sincerely doubt anyone has ever changed that thing since Stalin decided that Buddhist robes were no longer fashionable.

Then I had the amazing task of mopping up the floor and picking up, yes I said it, PICKING UP the clumpy pieces to throw away. There is no way I can emphasize the disgustingness of this experience. I am SO glad I got some good shots before i came here because I'm sure I might have contracted 50 different diseases.

Now, hear me out. I'm not squeamish by any means. I like bugs and mud and getting my hands dirty. What grosses me out is... I have no idea what that black sludge used to be for one, and for two, I have no idea what type of people used to live here before me! It's the unknown substance/unknown excrements of strangers that grosses me the fk' out.

So that being said, I took advantage of the tube's freedom to bang out as much of the awfulness that I could, ran the hot water for a LONG time and then reattached the tube, and mopped up. Now the towels are in the wash and I may just end up throwing them away. On a lighter note, my sink is no longer plugged and I can resume doing my dishes in the SINK instead of my shower (poor poor shower.)

Talk about a DIY experience. Take THAT Martha Stewart!!! *shakes fist*

And no Naomi I didn't take any pictures.... I may never go into the kitchen again.

---

Comments

[Rupert]

HILARIOUS
thanks for the comic relief - I definitely would not consider a career in plumbing... at least not in the former Soviet Union states. *chuckles*