moving right along

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We made it back from Nha Trang for our flight to Malaysia and arrived in Kuala Lumpur yesterday morning. KL seems like a familiar city because it reminds us a lot of Toronto: very culturally diverse with a little (insert country name here) for every corner of the globe. The hostel we are staying has a very homie feeling. There is a common room with a tv and dvd player and a kitchen to make meals if you want. Making your own food (even if it’s just breakfast) is such a treat after having to eat out all the time.

When we were on the 12 hour bus ride from Nha Trang back to Saigon I had started thinking about all the things that we have mastered and learned while we’ve been in South East Asia. I guess because the month countdown is on, I was just reflecting on the different experiences that we’ve had. I wrote everything down and thought I would share it on the blog.

Things that I have learned and signs that I have become a South East Asian Vet:
-I have a fungus on my arm
-I squat bomber style even over a western toilet.
-I have begun to think that my long nails are stylish not dirty. It is very popular in South East Asia, especially for men, to grow their finger nails really long. I’m not talking about a few centimeters here, I’m talking about inches. We met this one guy on the beach that could scoop an entire container of peanut butter with his pinky finger. It’s always a special treat when you shake someone’s hand and you feel this sharp little prickle on the inside of your palm.
- I’ve shared a bed with all God’s creatures, including several aunts and a cockroach.
-I’ve laughed in a taxi driver’s face when he quoted me a price four times the amount I paid the day before (We’ve also been driven around the same area three times and then charged 10 dollars US because it was night time and we didn’t realize it).
-I’ve diluted strong coffee at a Vietnamese breakfast buffet with tea.
-My new mantra is “Get up before 7, in bed by 11”. Besides as the famous saying goes: “the man who rises before dawn 365 days a year never fails to feed his family”. That way you’re also awake for the only part of the day that isn’t unbearably hot.
-Finding shade is my new 6th sense.
-I have bathed with hand sanitizer and used bug repellent as both deodorant and perfume.
-I’ve realized that if you speak English to someone the way they speak English there is a much higher probability that they will understand you. For example, instead of saying “may I please buy a 1.5 L bottle of water”, you should say: “I buy big bottle watah”.
-Crossing the street is a giant game of chicken. If you back down, you’ll never get across.
-I’m happy when the weather is overcast.

Things Adam has learned and signs that he has become a South East Asian Vet (I quote Adam directly):
-Friends aren’t for free, they’re always trying to sell you something (even Westerners who are paid to get you to go to different bars)
-He can now convert between baht, kip, Riel, Dong, Ringgit and US dollars in 45 seconds or less.
-He gets off a transport vehicle without bumping his head (everything is made for little people).
-He willingly poses for photos with random strangers who have never seen someone so tall.
-He can walk past a stray dog without flinching.
-He can sleep through all night karakoke parties.
-He can scope out the bus seats with the most leg room and make his way to them before anyone else has even gotten on the bus.
-He can fit a whole lychee in his mouth and spit out a clean pit.
-He has learned that departure and arrival times are a loose suggestion and have a standard deviation of 2 hours.
-Strawberry yogurt drinks are disgusting.
-There is a distinct South East Asian street smell that he wishes he could bottle to use on mortal enemies back home. It’s a distinct mix between rotting fruit, urine and sweaty socks.
-When ordering a pizza in South East Asia, always ask what kind of sauce they use because 33% of the time it’s mayo, which is revolting.
-He has learned (as explained to us by a 12 year old girl on the beach) that it’s okay for men to get fat, but not okay for women.
-If you press “current account” on an ATM it will take a cash advance off your Visa.

Things we still need to master:
-“The perch”. In all the countries we’ve been to there is this one body position that people can assume anywhere, anytime, and for any length of time. It involves crouching down like you’re a bird sitting on a perch. It doesn’t sound that hard, but people here can do it for hours. We even saw one guy perched on a ledge. When people are “perched” they are usually resting, smoking a cigarette or socializing. We have a great video demonstration that we took of someone doing the perch.
-Eating quickly with chopsticks. On our way to Nha Trang, we stopped at a rest stop for lunch. All of the Vietnamese were done their meal 10 minutes before Adam and I and we ended up having to use spoons to pelt noodles into our mouth before the bus left. With practice I think we’ll be able to eat more quickly with chopsticks (or at least not be ashamed to ask for a fork).
-Although we each for the fish sauce at lunch and dinner, it’s still a little much to use it on banana pancakes first thing in the morning.
-Be able to eat things like chicken feet, duck fetus (a delicacy), or crickets as a bus snack. I’ve watched countless locals rip apart cricket legs and chew on them. Yuk!
-Not get “budded” in a toilet line. It’s always the little children and the old ladies that manage to sneak themselves in front of you. It takes me 3 times as long as Adam to use the washroom and he always has to wait for me because I’ve had so many people cut me in line and I don’t have the heart (or the language skills) to give them what for.
-Wear a long sleeve shirt, pants and a sweater when it’s 35 degrees out.
-Be able to fall asleep anywhere.

That’s all for now. We are going to explore KL a little more today as well as spend the day planning the rest of our trip. We’ve realized that land travel over Indonesia is one of the most stupid things a person could do. Some of the bus rides are 25-35 hours (shoot me now). At this point, we’re both really sick and tired of moving around so frequently. We had a little moment last night when we realized the longest we’ve stayed in one place over the last 2 months is 3 days or 4 nights. We’ve done with the moving around and are seriously considering just flying to Bali and hanging out there until it’s time to come home. Worst things have happened, I think.

Lots of love,

Nicole/Poke/Coco
xoxoxoxo

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