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Published: March 10th 2008
Well, here it is the last and long awaited entry from Asia! It seems like an age since I wrote on here, either due in part to the fact it is, or that I was writing very frequently before!
Borneo has been really interesting and varied, with loads of nature treks and natural wonders, as well as some of the worst driving and the odd dirty binner!
The mere name Borneo cunjures up images of deserted forest, dense undergrowth, ancient hill communities and wild animals roaming without fear. Not to mention logging, deforestation, corruption and explotation. Unfortunately all of these have proved true.
Sarawak at the western end of Borneo, houses many National Parks and we managed to visit the vast majority. Bako was the first and the most humid, with a mere stroll to the toilet resulting in perspiring like a Barnsley fan in the 3rd minute of added time! Everything was damp and mouldy including the rank mattress and the thread bare curtains - get the idea?! But the park was great with walks so varied as to pass through the aforementioned dense jungle, then through limestone craggs, grassed valleys and then the most welcome sink
holes! The literature mentioned creeping around like silent mice on hover-boards in the vague hope of spotting the rare proboscis monkey - the reality was different; they were always sat at the end of the pier come the evening watching the daft tourists gawping at them on tip-toes! I wouldn't have been surprised to see them reading the paper, eating a pot-noodle!
After Bako came Similajau NP, the main 18km walk felt more like 180 with the last km being uphill! No mould here, but the 'fish-fingers' I ordered, for a change from noodles and rice, were a dubious mix between the worlds thinnest chicken escalope and a cheap and dirty Aldi fish-finger squashed by an obese elephant holding weights!
Some of you may have seen the legend Attenbrough exploring bat and swallow caves in Sabah. The place where the ground moves with insects feasting on the delicacy of bat droppings and swallow spit and insane locals climb rickety bamboo ladders to collect nests for bird-nest soup! There is a similar place in Sarawak at Niah. The caves were huge and it did indeed stink, a mixture of my old skater-hockey bag and my current t-shirts! We hung
Another moth
This little guy was my favourite!around waiting for the bat-exodus and when almost dark decided we had probably missed it. Running 3km through a pitch-black rainforest hoping to catch the last boat was interesting, as was my body hygiene when I collapsed half naked into the cafe, asking why there was no water coming from the shower! I had to make do with the dribble of luke-warm water which resembled a cat peeing on your head!
A real highlight followed in the trip to Bario in the Kelabit highlands. This is real Bornean rainforest where the nomadic people, the Penang, still hunt with blowdarts and live in the hills, albeit in ever decreasing numbers. The adventure starts on the journey, with a 50minute flight in a 8-seater. Awesome, especially sitting on the front row gazing into the cockpit like a fat kid in a sweet shop window! When you get there you witness the slow pace of life that remoteness brings. They are very gentle and helpful people with time to kill and a natural heritage to save in the face of illegal and legal(!) loggers. We undertook a 4 day 3 night trip into the rainforest, hiking in the day and sleeping in
hunting sheds by night. It rained, boy it rained and the leeches came out in force! I was lucky the first 2 days and then they wanted a bit of the Penn! I was being attacked from all sides and the little buggers even got through your socks! I left with 10 bites including one which I only saw when Steve spotted my blood covered shorts and 2 that were venturing too close to comfort where you really don't want a leech...! We ate freshly caught deer and fish from the rivers, as well as some worse than awful corned beef! It was a nice trip but dissappointing in that we couldn't spend a proposed night under canvas due to the heavy rain. The local oracle and helicopter crash survivor Jaman postulated that it was due to the guides being pussies! Jaman, as his name suggests was 'the man' and shared with us some of a smoked wild boar he caught the previous day. It was possibly the nicest meat I have ever tasted! It was lovely sharing a beer with him and hearing him recall stories from the forest. Bario was worth every effort it took to get there
and I was sad to leave.
The large National Park, Mulu, was probably one too many but revealed beautiful butterflies and moths as well some nice caves. It was here that the real bat exodus was seen. Thousands, and I mean thousands, streamed out of the main cave as the sun was coming down. They were interspursed with swallows coming home and created a moving ribbon some 10-12 bats wide for 20-30 minutes! A wonderful spectacle.
You would think that all these amazing sights couldn't continue, but they did and into Sabah we went at the Eastern tip of Borneo. Much more organised, Sabah likes it's tourist trips and thus some places have become exclusive get-aways in the middle of nowhere, beyond backpackers. There are the 'tourist welcoming folk' and the "I've had enough of you falang' folk. You get acosted for DVD's in the street and grow tired of dirty binners spitting everywhere! Still the wildlife has been out of this world again!
Snorkelling in Sipidan was mind-blowing. Why? Well, maybe it was the 30-40 turtles I saw, the dozen sharks or the huge (hundreds) of barracuda that spiralled around me. Or maybe it was duck
diving next to turtles on the seabed who watched me as I watched them, or swimming down to 2 sharks that turned to look at me then swam off, or having tens of fish swim at and around me in perfect formation - like the bats of the sea. Wonderful does not do it justice.
More wildlife was seen on the Kinabatangan River. Many species of birds including hornbills and kestrels as well my favourite; king-fishers darting around the banks. Monkeys galore, long tailed and pig tailed macaques. It was good, although the 'happy mondays' style accommodation was wearing! They sang in the mornings to wake you up, asked you constantly if everything was OK and had we enjoyed that days activities and even all gathered on the pier to wave us off in a cheesy display of tourism wonderfulness! I half expected high-fives for good toilet training!
And then to the Orangutan sanctuary where thankfully the huge downpour did not deter the semi-wild cuties! They were all ex-rehab, (orphan type not Amie Winehouse type!) and released into the wild, only to return daily for the fruit offerings and to keep the tills rolling and the Managers Bentley
on the road! They were very entertaining, tearing off branches to put over their heads to keep dry and shuffling around under what shelter they could find, not unlike the Homo-Sapiens watching them!
So there you have it, a bit like a copy of the National Geographic! However, it's not all been wildlife..... Sabah has also produced some of the worst driving and 2 of the worst bus journies of my life!
1. The nightbus to Sipidan. Imagine trying to sleep in a childs pram with your legs under your chin and a chair about 1" from your face with 80's ballards blaring out overhead......at 2 am........in an ambient temperature fit for keeping meat fresh for years..... I reached boiling point and was considering just how I would kill the guy sat in front of me, when Steve had the 'genius edition of trivial pursuits' idea to swap seats with me!
2. The day bus from the Orangutans to Kota Kinabalu. All going well, nice seat, nice temperature, nice views.. (I was ignoring the 3 ginormous cracks in the windows held together with tape, shaking in the wind like a shitting dog) and then an awful smell. It pasted,
OK. Then again, then it stayed, then the guy behind vomits all over his seat, then the smell really takes off. Now I am used to stinks at work but this was something else! Almost gagging and fainting and considering jumping through the cracked window, thankfully a seat was clear further up the bus; far enough from the toilet to make the smell unbearable but not to make you suicidal! Almost there and then the bus virtually became airbourne and rolled. They are stupid drivers here, overtaking on blind corners and all sorts but I was really not impressed and informed the driver he should slow down before he kills us all. This seemed to go down like a lead-balloon!
And finally, we met a very strange waitress in KK, who would of a sudden, making you think there was a fire, run over, and say "did you order the sea-bass? It'll be here in 5 seconds", then run off. Only to return 15 minutes later with the sea-bass! Then later, "you MUST be from Holland" "no" "Sweden", "no", "russia", "No", "France", "No", "Spain", "no", "Belarus..." It went on and on so I joked "We could be here all
Hunting hut
home for the night night". She looked very sad and said she was only trying to guess. I revealed England to which she smiled and said "Liverpool, Manchester......". I could take no more!! And the call to leave Asia is complete!
I have had a great time here and spent very little (which suits my yorkshire scrooge wallet to the ground) but will be pleased to get to NZ on the 18th and have a steak and glass of Shiraz as well as go in a shop and not have to haggle for everything in sight!
And what shall I do while the 17th I hear you ask?! Well, a 5 star resort looms so I shall be thinking of you all, as I relax by the pool, enjoy the spa and try my hand at wake-boarding, whilst enjoying the high temperatures.
The end has come, go on, have a cup of tea you have earned it by now!
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James Thorpe
non-member comment
Barnsley for the cup!
A new blog entry... finally!! Sounds like Borneo is quite an adventure. Loved reading about your bus journies - hilarious! ...I bet you're glad to be moving on from Asia in some respects! Look forward to hearing about NZ. James