Holy Vang Vieng!

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After all its hype, after all the stories it was time for me to take on the infamous party destination of Vang Vieng, Laos. A place where not only rules do not exist, but either do morals, care or even acknowledgment of safety, and seemingly for some; limits. This place has drawn more media attention through recent years than almost any other party hub in the world. At the epicentre of this pandemonium is a notorious pastime called tubing.

Before Vang Vieng I spent a week on one of the glorious 4000 Islands of Si Phan Don called Don Det. It was the epitome of a relaxing hideaway. My brand new bungalow hung from a steep but brief cliff over the river and looked apon endless clusters of flourishing atolls. Days flowed from one to the next here with little notice. I spent the week almost entirely in a hammock or tubing down the sunset side on the island catching the magnificent amber glow of the day’s adieu. Tubing in Vang Vieng I would find had a completely different meaning.

I travelled to Vang Vieng on a bus filled entirely with Westerners. This was quite odd for me as touring in the South and in most areas of Cambodia outside Siem Reap I was always one of few foreign to that area. As I looked around, flat brimmed hats and loose singlets were aplenty. Most had an iPod in ear and all were brimming with excitement for what was before them. An experience they would never forget, or remember? On arrival I was immediately surprised by the price of both food and accommodation. It was astoundingly cheap. I spent only 30,000 kip (almost $4) on a large room per night. A full sized baguette with deep fried chicken and salad cost only 10,000 and was a welcomed change from the customary rice or noodles. The entire town was built for young backpackers.

The day after I arrived I made my way with some Danish friends I’d known about an hour to ‘the river’. Of course the same river passed directly through the main part of town but what this expression referred to was the bar section a few kilometres up stream. The crowds rolled in via tuk-tuk around mid-day and the chaos began immediately. I was admittedly quite nervous as I walked across the shabby wooden bridge to the first bar. From the bridge I had a view of the first 5 bars. They were the most popular and were swarming with staggering, elated, barely dressed young people at all times. As I entered each bar there was the compulsory free shot of Lao Whiskey and a coloured bracelet offered as compensation. I drank only beer for much of the day, trying to control my state as best I could. A free bucket was then offered and I was too polite of course to refuse. The barman was also from Australian and on top of giving out the free drink itself, he decided that it was slow day and he could use a little more alcohol is this concoction than usual. At least 75% Lao whiskey the other portion was made up of M-150 and a few scattered limes. M-150 is Red Bull times 1000. Rumoured to be filled with amphetamines it gives you an invincible buzz. Dangerous? Yes. Fun? You have no idea! My group expanded and buckets piled up on the table between dancing wild men and women. We swam from one bar to the next observing the many activities each had to offer. I don’t regret not trying the slides, swings or ziplines at each bar. You only had to watch for a few minutes to see someone come off second best. And in Vang Vieng you were a long way from help if something went seriously wrong. The only effort made by staff to prevent this was a few cardboard signs spread around various places saying ‘Do not jump here or YOU WILL DIE’. And they meant it.

As the sun departed the crowds remained. Those that still could danced to songs they’d heard 5 or 6 times that day. But they were past caring or perhaps even noticing. Covered in spray paint and permanent marker at around 8 o’clock I jumped in a Tuk-Tuk with a group headed back to town. This wasn’t the end however. Upon arrival I showered to remove as much marker as I could, changed out of my ruined clothes and made my way the ‘The Island’. This was the destination of the nightly afterparty and kicked on until around 4am. There were about half a dozen bars on the little island positioned just off the town and connected by a few bridges similar to those I encountered up river. More free buckets were planted in front of us and then next thing I knew I was waking up at midday fully dressed and with my room key still in the door. The recovery was housed by any of the hundred indistinguishable restaurants in the towns centre. Each filled with cushions and playing Friends or Family Guy daily. A few coffee shakes and a chicken sandwich later and you began gathering a crew to head back down to the river. This was Vang Vieng’s routine.

Positioned amongst a mystifying mountain range and jungle Vang Vieng did also have a number of sites beyond bars if you cared to take notice. I saw a tour to these a good excuse for a day off. The highlight for me was tubing in one of the pitch black caves only 15 minutes from town. A small group of us followed a rope several kilometres into the narrow cavern with only a fading head torch. It was wonderfully spooky and our guide enhanced such a mood singing deep traditional harmonies from ahead in the darkness. The scenery around the cave was surprisingly rural and untainted by the Western influence which now occupied the town. We finished the tour with a 10 kilometre kayak back. Being dry season there was little rapids and flow in the river so it was quite hard work. It was due to these conditions that the infamous activity of tubing down the main river almost didn’t exist during my visit. On top of the ridiculous hire price of the inner tubes the journey through the bar section back to town took at least 2 and a half to 3 hours of water time. Because of this also the end bars were always dead or even closed.

After another day then of the party scene I decided it was time to move on while I still possessed my sanity and was injury free. I’d made more friends here than anywhere previously in my travels and my memory of the experience is entirely positive. Perhaps this is partly due to good fortune but I believe also through decisions I made which kept my week in some sort of control. It is a dangerous place. But if you stick to alcohol and don’t succumb to that teen impulse to jump off things it’s an exceptionally fun experience. One I can now say I’ve done and more importantly survived!

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