Slowboat down the Mekong

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I am currently sitting in a guesthouse on the banks of the mighty Mekong River in Laos. Opposite the sun is disappearing down behind the jungle clad mountains in Northern Thailand. The long boats continue to traverse the flowing waters of the river and the air is filling with the sound of cicadas whilst geckos are coming out to play in the cooler evening air. Today, we left Thailand behind and set foot in Laos for the next stage of the trip. It’s hot here. Infernally hot. But big smiles all round. I love it here :-)

Since my last blog update from Chiang Mai, Sandy and I met up with two gorgeous and lovely Dutch guys called Ed & Ralph, who were friends of another co-volunteer, Fay, at the Elephant Sanctuary and happened to be on a month SE Asia trip themselves. As the 4 of us were heading in the same direction, it made sense to combine resources (brain and brawn) and travel together. Sadly, our foursome only lasted for a couple of weeks as the boys are getting some Southern Thai beach time in before flying back to the wintry climes of the Netherlands. It has been joy travelling with them and so let me update you on our adventures and exploits of late….If you just want photos then here is the link:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150424041760236.410754.691995235&type=1&l=14102f3f00

Before our little posse of post Elephant volunteering buddies disbanded we spent a few days in Chiang Mai together, meeting up every evening – most often in the Rooftop Bar just outside the walls of the old city where the buckets of mohitos flowed freely, to share stories of massages in the Chiang Mai Women’s prison, sunrise over temples and in the case of Sandy and myself, a day’s culinary education at the Chiang Mai Thai Organic Farm Cookery School (http://www.thaifarmcooking.net/home/).

Having been collected from our hotel, we were driven to a local market to learn about the basics of Thai produce; from giant bamboo baskets filled with jasmine and sticky rice to fragrant bouquets of galangal, turmeric and kaffir lime leaves, the market was abuzz with locals. The fresh produce was piled high – from crisp stalks of morning glory to frenzied tilapia fish waiting to be scooped out of a tank for the bbq to deep fried toads lying on their backs in a most unappetising fashion.

We spent a fantastic day under the tutelage of the irascible Joon Jarn Jung who provided not just expert guidance on the art of making your own green curry paste from herbs and spices we picked from the farm’s extensive gardens or the delicate balance of lemongrass, Thai ginseng and sweet basil in a Red curry but also was a lot of fun. Here was a lady with a passion and talent for cooking with the ability to command a room of would-be novice Thai chefs from all over Europe - the UK, Belgium, Germany and Spain. She has ambitions to open her own restaurant one day and I hope she manages it…. She has the personality to go far.

After every dish, leaving our smoking woks in the kitchen area we adjourned to sit in the shaded wooden gazebo over the giant lily pad covered lake and sampled each other’s creations. From Tom Yam Kung (Hot Sour Soup) to Kaeng Kiao Waan Gai (Green chicken curry) to Phad Krapao Gai (chicken with holy basil) to Pad Thai finishing up with Kao Nio Ma Muang (Mangoes with sticky rice)…and this folks, was just my menu for the day! Sandy deliberately went for different options and we put Gordon Ramsey, Rick Stein, Gary Rhodes and Delia (she only needs her first name; the woman is a goddess) to shame, such were the delicacies (and occasional disasters) we concocted.

It was such fun. I know it’s a bit of a travelling cliché to do a Thai Cooking course in Chiang Mai but it was worth every baht and I look forward to entertaining Chez Hannah on my return.

Saying farewell to the likes of Sam, Fay and Steve n’ Jane – all fellow Elephant workers was really rather sad as we have had some happy days together but Sandy, myself and our 6ft Dutchmen had chartered our own sawngthaew (mini pick up van with benches in the back that shuttle round towns as communal taxis) to take us up to Chiang Rai. Admittedly a little more expensive than struggling on the public local bus but we are talking minimal amounts anyway (350 baht (£7) vs 150 baht (£3) each), we decided to road trip in style and zoomed up the highway to the town best known as the base for exploring the Golden Triangle – the three country border area between Thailand, Laos and Myanmar where opium used to be the cash crop.

Having found a guesthouse in lush frangipani filled gardens for 300 baht per ensuite room we stayed in Chiang Rai for a couple of days exploring the night walking markets where we were the only ‘falang’ (foreigners). Here we went on a wild Thai food frenzy buying whatever we fancied from the various stalls and sharing mouthfuls of steamed fish balls, chocolate brownie, shredded sweet potato chips and juicy custard apple…. Amazingly enough our stomach and bowels coped miraculously well and nobody had the runs the next day which is a bit of a miracle with the pic n’ mix way we approached dinner that night.

We bought some giant Thai Kongming Lanterns made from oiled rice paper on a bamboo frame and sat back in the garden of the guesthouse and lit the waxy fuel cell, waiting with anticipation for the air to inside to heat up, the density to lower and the contraption to lift off taking our sins with us and bringing luck and fortune instead– as the story goes. In my case, the lantern got as high as the palm tree and then decided to make a beeline for the dry ground…. I guess either I had no sins to get rid of or I didn’t want to give them up! Thankfully, Chiang Rai was not consumed in flames that night and I wasn’t arrested for suspected arson but we discovered subsequently although these lanterns are released with great abandon at festivals and celebrations, they are actually a huge hazard for planes, livestock and do cause crop fires…. Ooops!

Growing up, my Mother taught me to fear 3 things: dogs, motorbikes and using credit cards for credit. Compare this with the guilt felt by a masturbating Catholic or a Jew who pines after pork scratchings and you’ll understand quite how entrenched this conditioning is in me. Apart from certain dogs (the springers at Buttercombe Barton  ) I try to avoid canines without fail. I pay my credit card bills off in full by direct debit every month and as for motorbikes…apart from a little sortie in the Cook Islands about 12 years ago, I have resolutely avoided them.

Back in the Elephant Park I coped marvellously well with the 80 dogs that roamed in packs, my credit card continues to give me cashback but as for motorbikes….hellooooooo! I have discovered they are fun fun fun. Mum – stop reading now or pour yourself a stiff g&t as you are not gonna like this one bit.

At home in Holland Ed has his own bike and he and Ralph had already hired them in Chiang Mai. With a degree of trepidation Sandy and I decided we were up for sharing bikes with them and so armed with helmets that made us look like Nazi officers we relieved a scooter shop of two of its 125cc beasts, clambered on the back behind the boys and off we went.

Day 1 I rode pillion with Ed as he was the more experienced rider and I have to confess it was bloody brilliant. Zooming along at 100kms (seriously, Mum – skip this bit and jump a few paragraphs!) with the wind in your hair, the sun on your face was the most exciting, liberating thing I have done in a long time. Holding on tight to the well hewn chest and six-pack of a gorgeous man was kind of thrilling if I’m perfectly honest. Judging by the grin on Sandy’s face when she and Ralph overtook us, I’d guess she was thinking exactly the same.

We took the highway out of Chiang Mai to visit the quite bizarre Silver/White Temple. From a distance, this wondrous allusion to Narnia sparkled like alabaster marble in the sun. Intricate carvings twisted themselves round Buddha and dragon images and hands symbolising desire rose from the ground, reaching out in an eerie apocalyptic way.
Up close, I got a whole different take on this eccentric building built in 1997 and not yet completed. Kitsch is the word that springs to mind. Over the top. Slightly vulgar yet dazzlingly fairytale esq. Orange clad monks wandered through the grounds visiting the building as tourists and taking pictures on their i-phones. That in itself was kind of incongruous….

Day 2 on the bikes we swapped partners and I rode with Ralph – also a brilliantly safe and aware driver. We shot out of Chiang Rai high into the mountains up towards the village of Mae Salong built along the spine of a ridge and known for being more Chinese than Thai. Serried rows of pineapples filled the land and paddy fields flanked the road giving way to vertiginous jungle slopes and eventually inclined tea plantations. We stopped at a tea-farm to sample different types of oolong – all grown in the neighbourhood and served with finesse by a Thai lady-boy who still looked more boy than lady. We ate chicken noodle soup in a tiny shack for lunch and played with the beautiful kids of the owner. Here, we were the only ‘falang’ and the hospitality and friendliness of the locals was delightful. My motorbike experience was awesome and I’m sorry Mum, but I want more!

With the need to press on to Laos, we decided to charter a sawngthaew again to take us to the border at Chiang Khong some 2 hrs away, where we easily passed out of Thailand, traversed the Mekong on a longboat and stepped into Laos – an altogether less developed country. One night in the frontier town of Huay Xai was all that was needed before our 2 day slowboat adventure down the Mekong to first Pak Beng for the night and then into the French colonial Luang Prabang.

My brother was in SE Asia about 12 years ago and he has done some pretty crazy things in his travelling times. However, before I left the UK, he begged me not to take the fast -boat down the river… 6 hours on a speedboat where crash helmets are essential and the journey feels like one long rock dodging rollercoaster. I took his advice and we opted for the more leisurely route into Luang Prabang. As we have arrived at the end of the wet season, the Mekong’s levels are high but the swirling, eddying mocha waters suggested that beneath the surface lie all sorts of obstructions. The long-boat almost undulated its way along through rapids. Surrounding us and rising from the banks of the river rose 45 degree angled densely jungle clad mountains.

2 boats left Huay Xai – the first packed full of 20 something backpacking falang. The boat manager’s try to pack you in as much as possible and at 220,000 kip (c£18) for the entire journey for foreigners they make a tidy profit. I don’t envy the skill and patience of the slow-boat steerer though….. an arduous day’s work. The 4 of us hung around with locals waiting for the second boat to depart and we left with far more room and a lot more atmosphere than the pissed-up backpackers playing cards and drinking games.

We stopped every so often at remote villages where locals got on and off and kids boarded the boat with their baskets of coke, crisps and Beer Lao. In fact the trip was slightly reminiscent of my 5 day Amazon adventure – that sense of anticipation for the journey ahead and then the reality that 8 hours is quite a long time sitting in one place.

So here I am in Luang Prabang – a beautiful, tranquil town which has gorgeous temples and palaces, fabulous bars and markets all on a peninsula between the Mekong and Nam Khan rivers. Its faded French colonial charm is still very much there and although it’s very very touristy now with every other building an agency selling ‘tours’ to the local caves or waterfalls, the verdant palms and banana trees soften the hard sell. Sadly, development is rife and I fear much more change will turn it from the charming place it currently is into a tourist hell hole where the tuk tuk drivers don’t ask politely if you need their services, they badger you until you give in and agree to visit a ‘gem shop’. Call me cynical but I smell capitalism in this communist town……

This morning after breakfast overlooking the river and the fishermen hauling their catches in for sale at the night food markets, we said good bye to our Dutch friends with real sadness. We have had a brilliant time together and as Sandy, Ed and I are very close in birthdays, we are already talking about a wee celebration in Rotterdam come April 2012.

Sandy and I got our Vietnam visas sorted today at the Consulate and we have made a plan to explore Northern Laos unfortunately forsaking the South for another time. So much to see…not enough time. We decided against heading into the jungle to work as volunteers for some monkeys that are being released into the wild. Job spec was along the lines of ‘volunteers needed to live in a tent and protect monkeys from hunters’. For a brief moment, we contemplated the adventure and then decided we wanted to stay alive.

So as they say in Laotian…phop kan mai . Hope all is fine and dandy with all.

Han x

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