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Sardines
Our most 'cultural' bus ride to date Lao Airlines flight QV522 from Siam Reap to Pakse was not what we expected. It was the first time any of us could remember flying with an airline that refused to publish its safety records, so as you can imagine expectations were low! In the end we felt like we were cheating a wee bit by flying to Southern Lao and avoiding the 3 day bus, boat and overnight stay combo that travelling through Cambodia would have entailed but the border crossing from Cambodia to Laos doesn't allow visas on arrival and waiting for one in Phomh Penh could have meant a 3-day wait, so we took the easy option and flew. I say the easy option but I had been dreading it. In the end it was certainly no worse than flying Ryanair, only with more leg room and free coffee and biscuits to boot. 40 mins up and down, sans problem, we might even risk Myanmar Airlines next!
Our desintation was Si Phan Don (or the 4000 islands) at the very bottom of Lao on its border with Cambodia. This is where the mighty (this river has to be preceded by the word 'mighty' apparently to give it
full respect!) Mekong river fans out and forms a network of channels, islands, sandbars and rocks which can be up to 14km wide. Don Det although not the largest of the islands seemed to be a popular destination and seemed like as good a choice as any...so there we headed for.
When we got to Pakse bus station, which is bizarrely 7km outside the town. We couldn't see any of the luxury 'VIP' air conditioned coaches to which we had foolishly become accustomed. Instead there was a man with a pickup truck, its roof already laden with a collection of mattresses, fruit and wicker baskets, gesticulating at us that this was the only way to get to Don Det. We did check at the office, but unfortunately he was right. So off we set for what we expected to be a 4 hour journey sat on a narrow wooden bench facing another row before, to our horror, he started to put more people down the middle. There were 25 by the time we got going including 4 monks in the front cabin beside the driver. I did think about wheeling out the monk custume in order to get such
I'm going in!
Bugsy seconds before the strongest power shower of his life a priviliged seat but unfortunately my habit was red not orange so they may have smelled a rat! What was hilarious on the journey was every time we stopped at a junction were the hoardes of snack sellers selling water, chicken-on-a-stick, bread and other unidentifiables that crowded around you yelling.
We got there eventually, bums numb, in less than the 4 hours we'd feared so I suppose in hindsight it wasn't too bad. Comedy on the journey was provided by the young Laotian girl to whom Martin lent his Ipod and then turned on the Wolfe Tones for her to listen to and also by the loud American couple sitting across from us. I feared a repeat of the Canadians from Ko Samet, but they turned out to be OK in the end. She was a socialite (I'd never met one before) who lived off her parents, travelled and had not worked for 16 years. Seth was from California, had once had a bit-part on 'Days of our Lives' and joined us for drinks both nights he was there, good fun he was too.
On arrival at the island, things were basic to say the least. The electricity
Lunch
Al fresco only worked for 3-4 hours a day coming on at 6.30. There might be internet every couple of days if there was a signal and no fridges anywhere only cool boxes. We did however have a hammock on our hut's balcony and a great view of the river.
Lesson number one of the traveller, never eat in a secluded emply restaurant, especialy one with no electricity. I knew I was going to regret this as soon as the chicken Laap arrived out an hour after ordering. What it was, I'll never know but there are some scrawny chickens and some fat geckos and frogs on that island! Anyway as predicted in my last blog it was only a matter of time before a weak stomach like mine was struck down by food poisoning and this was my time! I'll spare you the gory details but of course I had picked our first accommodation with an outside bathroom to be sick, so cue umpteen visits torch in hand across the garden that night. Of course the bathroom had the only light in the village and as such was party central for every fly, moth, mosquito, ant, centipede, millipede, gecko and
In 'the zone'
I got that peaceful, easy feeling god only knows what else for miles around, lovely! But I suppose sure they kept me company for the night!
Meant a day off next day sleeping and relaxing which by all accounts is the best thing to do on this island. The pace of life is unbelievably slow here. Animals and chickens wander freely throughout the island and every house and bar has a hammock(s) of its own. There were a few nice day trips to do and some waterfalls to see and we even took an afternoon to go fishing. The only thing we achieved on this was to confirm ourselves as the worst fishermen in the world returning empty-handed from a river by all accounts teeming with fish!
Down on our luck, we were ready to join the outside world by this stage and were prepared to settle for nothing less than super-duper class on the old coach. Ridiculous. They threw us a 6 hour stop in Pakse - Post Code: middle of nowhere - in the middle of our already 12 hour long voyage. The big all-singing, all-dancing pimped up VIP buses we saw on our arrival at the bus station alas not for
Milling around
The island people us. Still ours was not bad: air con was blasting out and with a minute to departure there was enough seats for 2 each. A night's sleep on the cards perhaps? However, as tends to happen, with 10 seconds to departure in a flurry of excitement, a dozen Laos market ladies got on at exactly the same time as the conductor whacked the Laos karaoke full blast onto the TV. Think of that horrendous music you sometimes hear if your luck's out in an Indian restaurant and multiply by the number you first thought of and that's how bad it is. Miraculously however, I must've nodded off to sleep at some stage; I know this because I was definitely rudely awakened at 3am in the morning to be informed that the bus had broken down and we were to be transferred to the VIP boombox which we had hitherto been denied. The passengers of that bus were as happy to see us as we were to see them, as Sod's Law would have it I had to negotiate seating with a big fat Chinese man - one of those types that thinks their obesity entitles them to 2 seats. I
was lucky to get the ham of my arse half-perched next to him as we headed off into the night.
We've been in Vientiane for over a day now and had a look around yesterday, seems like a nice enough place but we have seen all there is to see and know the delights that await us further north so we'll probably leave today. We had a fantastic sauna and massage in the middle of the forest yesterday also for the grand sum of $4, in this heat a sauna was not my idea of the way to spend an afternoon but it was great and the perfect way to relax before a night on the beer watching the football. And I know this isn't a very traveller thing to do and I will get abuse for it but I am a simple man with simple needs and last night was football and beer Lao!
From our impressions so far of Laos, the Lonely Planet seem to have gotten it exactly right. They described it as Asia's gentlest, most relaxing and slowest country. There is none of the bargaining and hassling that happens all the time in Cambodia
In the jaws of demons
But me and Bugsy ain't afraid and to a lesser extent Thailand for massage, boum-boum, tuktuk or motos. The change is immediate as soon as you arrive here although it takes a while to get used to just waiting to be served at the bar in their own good time. However seems like a much wealthier place than Cambodia straight away.
Anyway I have to go now as a crazy woman has just entered the cafe and started shouting at the top of her voice for no apparent reason!
Sabaidie,
E
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