A plague of sabai dees

---

Viang Thong -> Xam Nua proved to be the most gruelling songthaew journey yet, requiring nearly 7.5 hours to cover 150km. Yes, that's an average of 20 km/h. This was partly due to the nature of the terrain, being all hills and escarpments, and partly due to a problem with the songthaew (or the driver) that required all downhill sections to be conducted in 1st gear. From a time efficiency point of view, the night bus would have been a better bet. At least we had our friends from the LoEME to keep us company.

Almost making up for this tortoise-like pace were the contents of the songthaew. Mention of rice sacks is almost unnecessary as they are a standard feature on these vehicles. Of more interest were several buckets of frogs, covered with mesh to prevent their captives' escape. Several hours into the trip, a live pig was wrestled up on to the roof, double-bagged because it had ripped the first one. With the Laos Army apparently on a budget as tight as the police force, we were accompanied for part of the way by several squaddies (though I assume they go into battle in something sturdier than a songthaew). They put their gun magazines into a bag for safe-keeping, but one had 2 rocket-propelled grenades strapped to his rucksack and a 3rd in his hand (pictures in previous entry as it was otherwise short on visual treats). Even the nightbus to Wimbledon in the wee small hours of a Sunday morning can't compete.

Xam Nua is the 4th largest town in Laos in terms of population, putting it higher up the list than Louang Phabang, but it has nothing like the same tourist-friendly infrastructure. No ATMs, a handful of guesthouses, just a couple of non-noodle stall restaurants, and a mere 1 (slow) Internet cafe (the latter being the one place in town you could guarantee seeing a foreigner). Fortunately the food was an enormous improvement on Viang Thong cuisine, and the guesthouses in general were fine (except the cheapest one I chose for the first night, which had grey-walled, stark shared bathrooms straight from Alcatraz). The second guesthouse was better on all fronts, with an enormous double bed (often my feet have dangled over the end, but not this time), hot shower (assuming you ran it at a dribble, else the temperature would plummet), and the thoughtful provision of 11 condoms (No 1 brand - in a country whose population has doubled in 20 years, presumably so-called because they guarantee the conception of your first child). The owner was a perma-smiling old woman, possibly perma-tipsy also, who cheerfully addressed torrents of Lao to you even when both parties involved knew this wasn't a language you had in common.

One consequence of being a foreigner in a place with few foreigners is that you have novelty value. And when there are 2 of you, it's more than doubled. So LA Woman and I were subjected to a barrage of sabai dees wherever we went. It was mainly from children and came in several forms. There was the normal version, delivered from close by and usually accompanied with a smile. There was a long-range version, possibly from up to 50 yards away. There was a power version, whose volume was excessive. The repetitive version, usually from smaller children, was like a broken record. And finally the induced version, after encouragement from a parent or older sibling, came with a look that indicated the speaker would shortly burst into tears. We also had encounters with some English-speaking locals, one of which resulted in an invitation to take part in some sort of pre-wedding celebration (which we declined, feeling it was a little strange to receive such an offer after a mere 2 minutes of talking), another of which produced an offer of a lift by car to Phonsavan the following day (which we also declined, this time regretfully, as a car journey would be bliss compared with the other transport options, however we weren't ready to leave Xam Nua).

The best interaction we had was with 2 small girls who we spotted from afar. They were doing gymnastics in the back of a pick-up truck, using the roof rails as parallel bars, When they saw us, one immediately counted from 1 to 10 in English at lightning speed. They then did some more gymnastics, with LA Woman snapping away, and they reacted hysterically when she showed them the photos she'd taken. Cute just doesn't do it justice.

There are 2 main reasons why tourists come to Xam Nua. One is to cross the border into Vietnam, just a short distance east. The other is to visit the caves at Viang Xai in which the communist resistance (now the government) lived in the '50s and '60s. The caves are in a karst landscape, with limestone jutting up from the valley floor. Despite the attractiveness of the scenery, however, the quality of the available postcards is completely dismal. Purchasing them and a few stamps from the Post Office was an ordeal in itself, apparently involving the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem rather than simply adding 4 postcards @ K1,500 + 3 stamps to Europe @ K7,500 + 1 stamp to the US @ K8,500.

The day trip to Viang Xai was actually a screw-up from start to finish. In the company of a French-Canadian guy we'd met, we got to Viang Xai just after midday, i.e. just after the Tourist Office had closed for lunch. It didn't reopen until 1:45PM. We then learned it would be very difficult (and/or expensive) to get back to Xam Nua if we missed the last scheduled songthaew at 3PM. This meant we would only have an hour to see the caves, which would be enough to see just a couple. Inevitably, the LoEME had appeared by this point and we decided to see what we could in the time available. We didn't even get a proper guide, just the receptionist. It was interesting to see that in the guestbook many Europeans had put their occupation as "Employee", as though they were ashamed of what they did. No such reservations from the wags who put "Jedi Master" and "Confused".

The caves turned out to be nothing special. They contained all the things you'd expect to see in places where people lived, e.g. kitchens, beds, toilets, wind-up air raid sirens, etc. There was a little atmosphere due to us navigating by candlelight, but not enough. Frankly, I think the best way to see Viang Xai would be to skip the caves entirely and do a bike tour of the surrounding countryside. We spent more time both travelling and waiting than actually doing anything.

At least on the songthaew back a motorcycle was put in the aisle as a talking point.

After dinner, someone made the moronic suggestion of buying some Lao Lao. This is the local rice alcohol, cheap by comparison with Beer Lao but with a real kick to it. It's sufficiently serious that you often buy it simply in clear plastic bags, so that you aren't distracted by fancy packaging. LA Woman, the French-Canadian, and I finished off a bag of it on the balcony of the guesthouse. I dimly remember a naked guy appearing on the balcony opposite, seemingly oblivious to our presence. I very clearly remember chundering into the toilet - no doubt a consequence of the dodgy stomach I've had recently (right). But of anything else, the evening is a memory blindspot.

The following morning I was surprised to hear a key in my door. Trying to get in were the owner and some European woman. With no apology, the latter asked if I'd taken her shoes from downstairs. I was too tired (though fortunately throwing up had helped me avoid a hangover) to give the withering retort that that deserved, so simply denied it. I'm assuming they then went on to search the other rooms.

There was further trouble in the evening when we got back to the guesthouse just after 10PM to find it was locked. Shouting, then rattling and kicking the door, produced no response. Then, with the helpfulness that's sometimes shone through in Laos, the household over the road phoned up the guesthouse owner to tell her a couple of her guests were trying to get in (or, 2 foreigners were kicking the front door) and we were finally let in.

---

Photos

Motorbike in the aisle
Makes a change from rice sacks

Pick-up gymnastics
Copyright LA Woman 2007

A classier pair of trekking shoes you'll never see
LA Woman brings couture to the countryside

UXO
Unexploded ordnance

Comments

[Emilyk]

Viva Sam Neua
I loved this place so much, it just seemed like the whole point of going to Laos...nice pictures too, thanks for the memories.