India- 'Honking Hell'

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So India;
We got to the airport and soon realised after boarding the plane that there were only about five other Westerners on board- we were leaving backpacker territory....
We arrived, clueless as usual, in this crazy and diverse country. For once, we had arranged an airport transfer; however, after waiting for an hour at the gate and not finding anyone there we eventually took a taxi to the hotel we had booked. Our driver had no English and didn't quite seem to grasp where we were going so when he pulled up outside a travel shop to get directions we were all quite relieved to be confronted with a young man who had perfect English.... long story short; he told us that the hotel we had originally booked was in a slum and a car couldn't even get down there so we ended up booking quite an expensive tour with his company instead. Fortunately for us our original hotel owner then got in contact with us encouraging us to get in touch; he believed we had been scammed. After visiting another travel shop we soon realised we should have paid half the price that we had paid for our tour. We were confused and decided to let the original hotel owner guide us- this was the best move we could have made because he helped us to get the money back from the tour we had booked, found us a much cheaper option and gave us lots of helpful advice.

After all the drama of getting our money back (including a trip to the local (corrupt) police station and several tears) we were ready for some sightseeing round Delhi. We went to see many temples- the second was a bit of a shock. We had to take a rickshaw ride to get there which I felt terrible doing as there was the skinniest man pulling Gwenda and I along on his bike- I felt like offering him a hand. When we arrived at the temple we had to walk through a market to get to the steps; once inside I saw a man walking around with bare feet- he had no toes on one foot and a cut that looked like it had an insect living in it. As well as this, the entire time we were inside there was a little chianggar (our name for a child Indian beggar) following us around. He kept telling us his name and asking for money, it’s heartbreaking when the little children do this but you can't give them anything because the moment you do more beggars immediately swarm round you. I felt quite intimidated here and didn't really have time to enjoy the temple. However, the next one we visited was my favourite- it was called Humayun’s tomb and is said to be the inspiration for the Taj Mahal.

I won't lie and say that Delhi was my favourite place but it was very interesting to watch such a different culture in motion. Whilst there we saw lots of monkeys roaming the streets- one casually eating a naan- we were also given a huge amount of attention, people asking for pictures and money, we saw cows everywhere, rickshaw drivers and tuks tuks. There was so much noise- they have no lanes in India, just a system of honking that they use to pass other vehicles. It felt extremely quiet in my head after we left.

We left Delhi to go to Agra where we were all excited about seeing the Taj Mahal. It was so nice to get out of the city and after a four hour drive, through motorway, villages and across dirt tracks; we arrived at our hotel located five minutes from the Taj. Our lovely driver Karam took us to dinner and introduced us to a dish called Thali which is a mixture of different curries, breads and rice. The food was incredible, it’s so full of flavour but not too spicy, although I think the locals take it a little hotter.

We woke up the next morning and got ready to meet our Taj Mahal guide at 6.00am (ouch) and walked through a nice little park to get there. Our guide was very informative but may have been a strict teacher in a former life because he kept telling Gwenda off when he thought she wasn't listening and he wouldn't let us see the Taj until we had repeated back to him what he had just told us. Despite the early start we were grateful to arrive at that time because our first view of the Taj was unspoilt by tourists. It was magnificent to see it up close and appeared huge until we walked around it and got inside. After leaving the Taj (closely followed by our guide until we tipped him) we went to Ranthambhore. This journey was exciting to start with but after our second flat tyre it wasn't so fun. Our nifty driver had changed the first within minutes but with only one spare tyre we had to roll for five minutes and found a place where they could repair it. To get the weight out of the car we had to all get out which was funny because we were in a tiny village where they're not used to seeing white faces and at one point there were sixteen men sat on a bench just watching us.

We were extremely excited when we arrived because we had lovely rooms and a huge garden that we played cricket in with our driver and some of the hotel staff. It was crazily hot outside- about forty degrees so was strange not to be sunbathing but having to be fairly covered in such hot weather. We went on the safari in the afternoon and about five minutes after we got inside we were lucky enough to see a wild tiger. We were excited because she was really close and we had been told we would be very fortunate to see one at all. We carried on into the dry, hot jungle and saw lots of monkeys, deer, a crocodile, peacocks and a kingfisher and were soon so lucky that we saw our second tiger. This one was sat down so we were able to take lots of pictures. The guides also know the tigers really well as there are only thirty five so they told us that this one was the oldest female in the park. We were extremely hyped up by the time we got back and ended our night playing card games in the garden with our driver whilst drinking some kingfishers and whiskey.

After Ranthambhore we left for Jaipur which is known as the pink city because of its pink buildings. I was really excited to be visiting this city because we were having an elephant ride there. Unfortunately we didn't really get to stroke the elephant or anything but it was still good because we rode on it up to the famous Amber Fort. The view was incredible although our guide was quite crazy and kept humping the elephant.

In the afternoon we decided to strike out on our own and go to the markets- after five minutes of leaving our driver we were debating calling him back. As soon as we stepped out of the car people were hassling us but we held our own. We also had a bit of a treat when we saw a naked old man walking down the street playing with his bits. We had to deal with a lot more chinaggars but I developed a system for getting rid of them- saying "Ne Heeng" (no) with a scowl on my face, followed by "go away"! Seemed to do the trick... In hindsight this seems quite harsh, but you just get so sick of being pestered that you can't help but get angry.

Whilst in Jaipur our driver took us to his cousin’s shop where he said we could buy whatever we wanted with discount and then we would share a home cooked meal together. I have one thing to say about his cousin- the man was a moron. He kept pressuring us to buy things and told us about a million times how their textiles were made; I was actually quite interested in this the first time he explained it as they use old clothes to make new fabrics. Despite this I couldn't complain about the meal, it was probably the spiciest food we had but really delicious- our first Indian takeaway... in India.

Before leaving Jaipur we decided to get some henna tattoos; I got a Ganesh up my arm. It looked good but we were a bit limited in what we could do with our wet henna and Gwenda had smudged hers within about five minutes. We didn't really know what to do after it had dried but luckily the lady in our hotel helped us out. Then she asked us for a tip.

On leaving Jaipur, we had another long journey to a place called Pushkar. We were looking forward to staying in the hotel there because our driver told us it had a pool- we were not disappointed as it was a really nice pool and, after double checking we were allowed to wear swim suits, we were straight in. We also went to look around the village which was really nice because it has a big spiritual lake in the middle where we watched the sunset. We also got some Italian food which was quite welcome after eating curry for an entire week, morning, noon and night. The next day we spent entirely by the pool and soon noticed some Indians peeking through their curtains at us. We decided that we would climb up to the temple before we left; it was a hot walk but really well worth it when we saw the whole of Pushkar on arriving at the top. It also meant we could see how far into the desert we had then come.

Before leaving Pushkar we had some post to send. It took a LOT longer to send than we thought and so I went to wait outside because I had left my passport in the car. Waiting outside anywhere in India is always an experience and after five minutes a skinny Indian dressed in a toga with a lot of white hair came up to me and played a weird kind of recorder in my face. I let this go on a little longer than I should have because I was hoping Gwend would come out and see so it took quite a lot to get rid of him in the end. When Gwend did come out we also got surrounded by cows because a man came and scattered grass around us (he kept putting it on my feet even when I moved).

When we finally left Pushkar we were heading on another long journey towards Khuri, near Jaisalmer which is in the desert and borders Pakistan. As soon as we got out of the car I could feel the heat difference; it was forty five degrees and I could barely breathe. Luckily it cooled down a lot at night which was good because we were off on our camel trek. We arrived at our accommodation which was two huts in the middle of the desert; although our driver had told us that we could sleep outside for a more authentic desert experience if we would like.

We got ready for our camel trek and were all a bit unsure about how it would go; we named our camels Gerard (renamed Geri aka Gez, upon discovery that she was female), Gilbert, Gary and Jasper (renamed Jasmine). Luce and I had nice well behaved camels; Gwends- Gilb was a bit more weird; foaming at the mouth. Sophie's camel, on the other hand, was completely insane. For some reason, my guide decided he wouldn't lead me but attached me to Gary who had his tail tied out of the way of his rear end which was not in a good way. For quite some time I thought Gary had a lump of shit hanging from his tail until I realised that it was actually the biggest, shittiest ball I have ever seen. This earned Soph's camel the name, Gary shitty balls.

After a fantastic time camel trekking we got back to our charming huts. Gwenda and I decided to go for the authentic approach and slept outside. This was a nice idea but the reality wasn't quite so lovely. As soon as we had settled down we heard a voice saying 'Goonda, you want to go for a walk with me?' This was the voice of our driver, Karam, who was no longer sweet but had turned out to be massively annoying and in love with Gwenda. In the morning we also realised that he had been lying when he told us we wouldn't get bitten in the desert as 'Goonda' was absolutely covered in bites. The next morning when Karam asked his regular question 'good sleeping'? He was met by more than one scowl.

Our next two destinations weren't particularly exciting because they were stop off points on the way to our final destination in north India, Haridwar. This was quite a low time in India because we stayed in two of the hottest rooms imaginable and spent the following two nights tossing and turning drenched in sweat. We did, however go to see a miniature artist who drew a whole picture on Gwend’s nail along with all our names.

We arrived in Haridwar after a gruelling ten hour journey in a sweaty car on the bumpiest road in.the.world. It seemed as though Karam was also on a mission to put us through the roof when my head bumped it for the fifth time. Things had also turned a little sour with the one CD we had bought so that 'who let the dogs out' skipped on every other (awesome) word. No matter how much Karam spat on the CD and rubbed it on his trousers it just wouldn't work (shocker). The journey did take a more positive spin after we convinced Karam to find and stop at a McDonalds for us; it had been almost three weeks of curries by now.

As Haridwar wasn't included in our tour we had to book our own accommodation. Because we had become extremely stingy we wanted to pay no more than £2.50 each, per night. Considering how much we had paid the rooms weren't too bad. We did have to wash under taps and use a hole in the ground but apart from that it was a delight. We were very excited about being in Haridwar, partly because of the Ganges- pronounced gang-ies by the locals- and partly because we were on a mission to find the one armed and elephant babas (featured in Karl Pilkington’s, 'An Idiot Abroad'😉. One our first night we left to go to the Ganges at prayer time. When we began walking down to the river I was shocked by how busy it was. There were already thousands down there an hour before prayer time. People were lining the sides of the river and swimming in it as well as drinking the water. Karam told us that it was especially busy because it was a weekend and people would travel there from around India to come and pray. They were also filling up tubs of water to spread around their homes for good luck. We felt a bit too self conscious to get in the water here because we were the only westerners there. We also weren't sure what the clothing protocol was; the women seemed to go in, in their pyjamas while the men were taking a dip in a vast array of transparent underwear. The amount of men happily strolling around, half-naked with erections, was at a disturbing level.

After all the enjoyment of being by the Ganges we decided we wanted the take a boat ride along the river. Karam (as per usual) completely misunderstood this and tried taking us to a white water rafting centre in a place called Rishikesh. This wasn't a complete loss though because Rishikesh was beautiful. It is right in the foothills of the Himalayas so we were totally surrounded by mountains and the Ganges runs through the middle. It was a more relaxed atmosphere here than in Haridwar and we had a really good day looking around the town, climbing a path up the Himalayas and swimming in the Ganges. We also managed to find a honey cafe with some nice, non-curried, food.

After leaving Rishikesh we spent a few more days in Haridwar, unable to find a single baba. I was seriously disappointed about this but after walking round asking a number of locals and sticking my arm in the air to try and imitate the baba we clearly weren't getting anywhere.

Our last stop before our tour was over was at our driver’s village where he had invited us to stay for the night. We were less keen on the idea of this than when he had originally invited us because he kept asking Lucy if it was going to happen with him and 'Goonda'. He was also generally irritating because he couldn't understand a word we were saying (I sound mean saying this but after three weeks of trying to explain every tiny little thing my patience was wearing thin).

Anyway, we still took the trip to his village and had quite a mixed night there. It was soon apparent that our visit had caused some excitement as people kept turning up at his house to see us. Everyone was really nice and he had a cute little niece who we taught to play snap. His sister in law cooked us a lovely meal which we ate before everyone else which is customary for guests in India. The downside to this was that our driver was completely hammered; he was with his mate, who had come round to the house to fix their computer, and they were both so drunk. We were quite used to seeing Karam drunk by this point because he would sink back a fair bit of whiskey each night, but his friend was a complete pest. He kept saying Soph's name but couldn't speak anymore English than that. He also offered me a piece of soggy, yoghurt covered onion when he was eating his dinner. I declined.

In the morning things also took a turn for the worse. I had woken up feeling a bit queasy but ignored it until Gwend said she had been sick in the night and Soph complained that she had been feeling ill too. After this we were all running to Karam's little hole in the ground. This was a complete nightmare because, not only were we all feeling horrendous but, we were flying that day and had to sit through a two hour journey to the airport as well as the flight. Luckily we got through the flight without any emergencies.

Our final stop in India was to Goa. We were staying in Anjuna and looking forward to a couple of nights out. Unfortunately, we realised upon arrival that it was low season which meant the resort was virtually deserted so we had no nights out but plenty of relaxing. We found a nice guest house run by the most kind lady who looked after us like a mum for the next three nights. We weren’t sure whether or not it would be raining because Goa was due to come into its rainy season. However, this didn’t happen whilst we were there and it was blisteringly hot each day. The beach was boiling and I couldn’t even step on the sand without burning my feet. As a result, we decided to pay to use a swimming pool the next day and all burnt to crisps.

That night we had chosen to go to a restaurant that we had spotted earlier in the day. On our way, however, a dog started following us. This wouldn’t have been an issue except that as soon as we got onto the road packs of dogs began running out at the one that had attached itself to us and going completely mental. We kept walking- I was completely terrified- but more and more dogs were running out and two were attacking the dog that was with us. We were starting to worry about getting to the restaurant when a lady said “Ah this dog bite many people”. This was the final straw and we gave up and went in the opposite direction. The dog still followed us and when more came running out a man came from his shop with a big stick saying “which way do you want to go girls?” He may have been about eighty with a beard but at that moment, when he started swinging his stick and shouting at the dogs, I was in love. We made it away but the stupid dog waited outside the restaurant while we ate- luckily it attached itself to some other people, while in the mean time we began walking about a foot behind two locals for ‘protection’.

That was the end of our India experience. The only thing left was our flight- which was cancelled and re-arranged for two hours earlier. Apparently they didn’t feel as though they should email us to explain this but luckily we were very early and didn’t miss it.

I really enjoyed my time in India but it was definitely a lot more work than the other countries we went to that were more accustomed to backpackers. I don’t think I’ve ever been stared at so much, or held so many babies for pictures before or ever been surrounded by groups of people who would just look at us. India was certainly a different experience.

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