Calamity Jane and the Indian Ocean

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Nautica is headed due west in the Indian Ocean south of the Bay of Bengal. To be precise we are in the Andaman Sea and have passed Sumatra to the south of us. There is no land in sight. I saw one ship on the horizon this morning just after dawn, but that is it. The sea is fairly calm with only slight swells. The air temperature is near 90. It is humid but I am getting used to it. Weather information shows that temperatures in India, the next stop, are in the 100s F. I am in the tropics after all so none of this should come as a surprise. We will soon pass to the south of Sri Lanka and then turn to the north toward India. The next port of call is Cochin in Kerala Province.



I have to tell you about a fellow passenger who is attracting much attention and is the subject of dinner time gossip. I call her Calamity Jane. At first glance you would swear Calamity is from Texas. Everything about her screams Texas excess, yet rumor has it she is an Arkansan. Whatever her home state she is something to behold. Calamity has one and only one sartorial style. She is never seen in public without a cowboy/girl hat. The gossip mill contends that she claims to own over 100, but only brought four on this trip. The hats are identical except for color; black, silver and white. The fourth color remains a mystery and perhaps is being held back for a flourish at the end of the voyage. Each hat has a band with large silver medallions round it. Her hair, or what we can see of it, is fashioned into a thin braid that is fastened in the back under the brim with a large bow of the same color as the hat.



Calamity’s age is open to conjecture but she has definitely had work done. In profile she looks at bit like the Danish author Isak Dinesen or perhaps Louise Nevelson. She has sharp cheek bones and a narrow Roman nose. Calamity is rail thin and has spent a lot of time in the sun. She wears thick makeup and very blue eye shadow. Calamity always wears a blouse and long skirt to match whichever hat she has on. She has a silver belt buckle the size of a dinner plate, silver rings on each finger and silver bangles up each arm. The necklace she wore the other day looked to contain a king’s ransom in silver. Calamity’s body weight is probably less than the total tonnage of silver she wears. She is fascinating in a strange sort of way and I would love to know more about her. However she is never seen with anyone other than one other couple and a short beaten-down little man who is either her long suffering husband or some unfortunate sugar daddy whose bank account she is draining.



On a sea journey of this length one is exposed to all sorts of personalities and human foibles. We have recently had a bit of a ruckus among the eight members of our trivia team. Lady Jean will be 82 today. Another Jean on the team proposed that we fete Lady Jean with champagne this afternoon during the daily trivia game. Jackie, another member, protested saying, “I hardly know the lady, and besides what’s so special about turning 82? Half the passengers are 82 or over.” Jerrie, still another team trivia member, who talks like she is from Fargo, said that champagne gives her a headache. So we settled on a plain white cake for the 82 year old Jean at lunch. At least we haven’t resorted to the nasty rows which have broken out in the laundry room over use of a dryer, but we still have three weeks to go.

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