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Published: January 10th 2006
I had joked that with Indian food, you feel it twice-- 'going down' and 'going out'. I would like to amend that statement now, to 3 times-- 'coming up'. I had so valiantly asserted that I would continue to treat my palate to the exquisite spices and curries of Indian fare despite the extra 'reading' time in the bathroom. That was before the 3-hour session of singing my intestines into a bucket. 3 hours...I had purged everything. It was like one of those magic tricks where from a single opening, out comes 83 feet of handkerchief, and a lawn chair, and a birthday cake with the candles still lit, and a little African boy. Not only does it tear you up physically, but mentally you're shattered. Trashed the hotel room, broke up with Carolee 4 times, randomly dialed out on the hotel phone to curse out the anonymous Indian unfortunate enough to answer. "Why do the food vendors on the street have only one plate to be used by the 70 customers who eat there, only to be rinsed off in the murky brown water on the side? Why, when you know starving wild animals abound, would you turn your head
and let a cow lick the egg curry clean out of the same bowl or a monkey suck out water from the same glass that is to be used by the unsuspecting public? Why, in this day of triple-ply charmin and handy wet-wipes, would you choose to clean yourself, post-bathroom duties, with a bucket of water and your bare hand- and consequently have me worry that there wasn't enough water in the bucket before you started to prepare my food?" I didn't get too many people to stay on the line long.
I'm in a better mood now. 3 days on, and I'm still not fully recovered, but India is back to being tops with me. But I will be damned if I look at another curry dish over the next week. I'm sticking to foods you have to peel-- oranges, bananas, Snickers.
We've been in Calcutta for a full week now. Only got to see bits of it before I was confined to the hotel room. But what I saw was decent. An excellent park, the Maidan, overwhelming the city east of the Hooghly River where you can watch all day and still not understand the rules of
Cricket. We made it down to the Victoria Memorial, the massive edifice erected in tribute to the British matriarch when the English reigned supreme. Inside is a museum depicting the stages of when the British came to stay for the weekend and slowly started to move their shit in. Strolled around BBD Bagh- center of the British administration when they used Calcutta as the capital- eerily reminded me at night of walking the East Village with curry shops (surprised?) and street stalls selling scarves, pens, and combs (really, how much can you make retailing combs to warrant its own kiosk?).
I've since been taking it easy. So now, what better way to get back to health than by heading out to sea on an arduous 4 day voyage across the Bay of Bengal in lowest-class travel, sharing a steamy, dungeon-like hull space with nearly a thousand other economically-deprived passengers cluttered with 900 bunks? We came across the passage to the Andaman Islands while researching things to do, and figured why not? Why not? Cuz its 60 endless hours on the rough seas in steerage conditions so bad that some of the local Indians we talked to winced at the
Museum Courtyard
Don't be fooled. This was the most maintained property in all of Calcutta.idea. I don't suspect we'll see Kathie Lee Gifford on board this liner. Why ARE we doing it? Cuz it's only $30 to get to some of the most pristine, uninhabited islands in all of SE Asia.
Happy Holidays all, from both of us. Hope everyone stays safe and healthy.
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Frank (from Thirteen)
non-member comment
151
I remember talking to somebody once who went to India and she said that every night she would take a shot of 151 to kill any bugs in her stomach. She said that she never had any problems and the people with her who didn't take the shot did get stomach problems. who knows! try it out. -Frank