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Published: February 22nd 2008
I'm trying not to let my spirits run low. It's only the 2nd morning and Im getting restless. I didn't do any booking ahead of time, as everyone that has been here had informed me how easy it is to navigate around here.. now I feel like Im wasting my time. Or maybe im just getting antsy because I felt like a day is wasted.
Yesterday morning I contacted a host family (i will leave out the organization name as I do believe strongly in their cause, and unexpected exceptions do occur).. I don't doubt at all that for the most part, all families are fantastic. Anyways, I contacted a host in the area around 9 am, immediately he welcomed me into his home and said I was family and that he'd come to pick me up shortly. He came to get me at 1 pm. The moment he walked in, I felt something was off, it wasn't that warm immediate feeling I had with many others here, like my taxi driver (who barely even spoke to me, but it's that human sense we have). This mans shady cologne, and unhonest eyes (as jovian would call the "*****er eyes") made me cautious already. Well we sat down and talked for about 10 minutes. After about 2 minutes, I started getting annoyed. Blabber about every nonsense possible... My eyes drifted to passerbyers and newly arrived guests as they were more interesting to me than our conversation. He called me out on it. "You are losing focus, I will continue this later". Whoa there stranger, who the hell are u?
Anyways, finally we got on to a rickshaw to his home, which was probably the highlite of my day yesterday. I love that fast-paced ride through the city, fresh air, winding through traffic... It boggles me that there isn't an accident every 3 minutes as the traffic here is WORST THAN CHINA'S!! About a 20 minute ride.. and into his neighborhood... a very tropical, tall trees, dirt roads, beautiful houses here.. not too poor, not too lavish.. I was welcomed into his home and met his 2 kids - 2 1/2 and 4 months.. and his 'servant'. He mentioned he was in the jewelry business.. (hate to stereotype.. but was very much like a Jewelry sales man).. he also mentioned he did 'Travel Tourism' on the side (which he shouldn't have mentioned, and i'll explain more why later).
I got changed, played with his cute kids, had some rice and vegetarian indian dishes... which was very tough for me to get use to... a lemon marinated in spice type dish.. some cucumbers marinated in some other odd way.. and some spices. Nontheless I appreciated trying it. He said that we'd go to Fort Cochin today. It was about 2:30 pm then. We started to walk out the door when he said "Lets stop by my office for 10 minutes.. I have some work to do.." Ok sure. The walk to his office was very beautiful... felt village-ish a bit which is what i've been wanting to see.. 10 cute little school children packed in a 2-man rickshaw in their uniform.. side shops selling refreshments.. old scronny worn-out construction men.. We then finally got to his empty office. We ended up being there for about 3 hours instead of 10 minutes. He claimed he had work to do, but really he just showed me his address book of past travelers.. didn't look like there was work there. Then he made a call and said that his driver will be there at 5:30 pm..... Hmmmmmm.. Now Im getting very antsy and feel that im wasting time.. but i wouldnt complain, for this man did welcome me into his home to stay for free, for as long as i want.
Well as time went by which seemed like centuries in B.C., I started getting REALLY AGGRAVATED from waiting, annoyed from his talking, claustrophobic from being inside that bland room, catching on to his pushiness, and overbearing personality... started feeling suffocated with his manipulative way of talking (and i've kept in mind, and still do, that it could all just be a cultural difference)... felt like i was in a 1 man lecture hall with someone trying to brainwash me of everything he believed in. And as my close friends know, My worst trait is probably my lack of patience and tolerance for idiots. I was on the verge of breaking down. I started to run thoughts in my head of flying back. I missed my comfort zone - my west hollywood apt,, my family, my friends.. the freedom to walk out and leave in America any time someone annoyed me.. the food, the sushi.. the shopping, missed my job.. (if anything, people in LA have a problem of close relationships and intimacy, stereotypically speaking, because the main focus is on them selves, that rarely it is an issue when someone is not giving you enough space... A good thing for me)..
Around 4 pm I asked to call Sheba (my friend Benny's wife) who I had been communicating throughout the day about meeting up and making the rest of my trips itinerary, as she is a local and I trust her very much. He was very wishy washy about me contacting any outside party, but finally I was able to. As I was on the phone, she and I were sketching out plans I wanted to do since i trusted her to put me in the safest, best places.. and then he started mouthing something.. and took the phone away from me. He got on the phone and started speaking to her in the local language Malayam.. i asked to get the phone back, and sheba said "oh.. it sounds like this man can help you with all the travel plans.. he says you are legally bound to him since you signed the contract to stay with him.. that u are under his responsibility until you leave the country." Uhhhh NO. NO where did i read that when I registered.. And Everyone knows how i am about my own space and choice. Definately not true. I told Sheba I'd call her back. After I hung up, this man manipulatively, disrespectfully claimed that Sheba was trying to make money off of me, that he could tell by her voice that she was dishonest and that she's part of that business.. that he would help me arrange travel plans, w/out any money to his pocket.. that he was so selfless and wonderful and godly... I was on the verge of tears, i tried to hold it in. Then he said "will you let me help you?" I was trying hard not to blow my cover, as he pulled out a travel itinerary magazine and showed me all the places he could arrange for me, WHICH HE WOULD GET NOTHING OUT OF, BUT WAS DOING FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS "FAMILY". That idiot shouldn't have mentioned within 5 minutes of meeting me that he is part of the 'Tourism business', because HE IS THE ONE MAKING THE MONEY. How dare he put the blame/insult on a trusted friend to make himself look good?
I started bawling. Right there in front of him.. how often have you guys seen me cry? Rarely.. only in sappy chick flick movies and once n a blue moon out of frustration that cannot be resolved. He then started asking me why im crying, he's so nice, why i feel alone. blabhlabhlahba. I didn't want a full confrontation as it'd do nothing, this man seems strongly brainwashed by himself that he wouldn't even understand how fucking annoying he is.. that i just simply told him "i need my space right now, I'm home sick and its my first day here.. just understand". Perhaps he really did care, but any human being with an IQ over 40 should know to leave someone alone when they ask to be left alone. Forrest Gump seemed to be able to have that compassion. This is when he just got REALLY out of control annoying. "tELL ME, WHATS WRONG?" "HAVE I NOT WELCOMED U INTO MY HOME? " "LOOK, I HAVE NO OTHER MOTIVES WITH YOU EXCEPT TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU AND TO LEARN ABOUT YOURS" "I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS (SHOWING ME HIS WEDDING RING)"
"OH YOU ARE JUST A BABY.. CRYING LIKE A BABY" If he could understand the English language well, i would have screamed out with a blasting microphone, like the hindu and muslim churches here do with chant during the day, ' PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELF AND LEAVE MY PRESENCE '. He started asking me if i lived w/my family.. and how im able to live alone if i cant do this travel alone. Idiot, im not cryin because im homesick. Im cryin because you have frustrated me beyond belief. Oh, and he even went as far as saying "I thought Americans were brave.. and I thought Chinese people are strong and smart.. You have proved all that wrong to me."
After I stopped, and we stared at each other coldly, with his attempted small talk here and there, his 'driver'/friend finally came around 5:30.. we stopped by a gas station and he asked me for 200 rupees, then 300.. i gave him 500 because i had no change which is about 12$. He didn't give me change. Oh well. We get to Fort Cochin finally.. when its dark, with not a lot of people, he says 'we should have come earlier, not safe to be here'.. Uhh ok.. so we decided to get dinner.. he decided on this nice Jewish restaurant there.
Kerala is renown for its religious diversity.. between the Hindus, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Catholics.. i'll explain more later
I had calmed down quite a bit, since there was less communication during the car ride and walk around.. but i was surely tired, since it was my first day, after a day and a half travel and barely any sleep.. he kept askin "whats wrong, why are you like this" I really dont think he was concerned, i think it was just a damage to his ego boost since most other travelers probably come and dont catch on to his shadiness.. or maybe im all wrong about him, maybe he is a godly saint.. but it doesnt matter now, because i wont ever see him again and these are my thoughts.
During dinner, He started to speak about loving life, enjoying life.. i was really dosing off.. and he called me out again "Nevermind, you dont understand, you are too young" I said, finally rudely, after being so patient and polite all day, "I do understand, what do u want me to say" what idiot cant understand such a simple concept? I just had no energy to respond to his incessant babbling.. he says "NO, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. U ARE TOO YOUNG, AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR U TO DIGEST ALL THIS.. SO U TELL ME ABOUT URSELF, U TELL ME WAT U WANT TO TALK ABOUT, BECAUSE WE ARE OLDER AND WE CAN UNDERSTAND". Wow. Now he's demanding, the king of psychology, known me for 5 hours yet is so confident to argue my own thoughts.. I really wanted to walk out and jump kick him haduken style, chung-li status.
I asked to phone Sheba again, he was hesitant, I said Please. i need to. I got on the phone and asked Sheba to meet me after dinner because I wanted to leave. She got the hint and said ok.
On the way back, we stopped by gas station again, he asked for 400 rupees for gas, I didn't see exactly how much he handed the man.. but i saw him pocket some of it.. I later told Sheba and her family how much I gave for gas (900 rupees = 22$) and they said he conned me more than triple of what it shoulda cost. (thankfully it wasn't more). Now imagine how annoying he was during the day, now it has magnified as he asked every 2 minutes "why are u leaving, what did i do wrong, havent i been so nice to you, please stay... you are insulting me.. nobody has ever done this.. u are the first.." i just kept saying "its not you, its me (like a petty excuse during a breakup)". "im tired, i need my own room, i appreciate your hospitality, but really, i need my sleep", after repeating his questions about 42 times, he finally started his next episode of questions, about 18 times "well i'll put u in a hotel tonight, i'll help u with ur travel plans, we are a peace foundation, i have been doing this for 14 years.. " i kindly refused. Finally.. what seemed like forever, we met with Sheba, who arrived in a car with her father and 15 year old brother..
I've never felt so relieved from someone (sheba) who i had never met in person, who came to save me, with her family, which felt like my own family, running out of car, confused, confronting the man and his friend "what did u do to her" i told them nothing , and i'd explain in the car.. Of course this man starts to tell them, in a condescending manner to me "im tryin to protect her from u guys stealing her money, i am a good man, i've been doing this a long time.. i am part of a peace foundation.. i am christian.."
At last,, free... I got in the car and they took me back to the hotel I was at the first night.. Presidency inn. Showered, in my own A/C room..
In conclusion to this complaint story, it could be that this man had only good intentions but an annoying aura about him. Im not goin to let it get to me. Time to start a new day.
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sherry
non-member comment
jacki you should have known from the moment you saw the ****ner eyes!!!!! lol.....you had me in suspense reading this blog..fareda and I are glued to the computer right now...like a movie..she wants to print it out and publish it!!! lol we miss you and i am soo sorry to hear this fucking bastard guy annoying the shit out of you, i would have cried too =( stay strong i'm sure your trip will get better..love you and be safe!!!!! muah!