Khajuraho: why no bananas?

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First things first:I made horrible spelling mistakes in my blog yesterday. The name of the Temple is Chaturbhuj and the cenotaphs are the Chhatris.

Are you supposed to sleep in Sleeper Class? Because I didn't. The train left Jhansi at 2:30 and reached Kajuraho at 6:30. I maybe managed an hour of sleep (that's 3 times 20 minutes). Indians must be very deep sleepers because I was the only one bothered by the little kid on the lower berth jumping up and down screaming something over and over. The others just kept on snoring. I hope my sleeper class experience tomorrow will be better.

I arrived at Khajuraho in a very bad mood. Any wannabe driver/guide/hotel suggestion/restaurant suggestion would have to face my wrath and feel the pain. I decided to blow some steam on a bench at the charmingly small and clean train station, on the platform. While all others had gone away, one last rickshaw driver was brave enough to stay by my side, waiting for my next move. I was reading my guide as a distraction but kept hearing subtle "Wherever you want to go, Sir", "I go with you to hotel", "Anything you like, Sir". After a few minutes, the platform was empty, I was the only potential customer there, which turned out to be a great but unintentional plan to influence the law of supply and demand. I had the upper hand in the negotiation and got half price on the ride. My mood got better.

Khajuraho is surprisingly small and unagitated. I had heard and read so many nightmare stories of touts everywhere but it's a small village that happens to have the most beautiful Hindu temples in India (more on that later). Yes, there are vendors near the temples and you get asked for a ride as often as in any other Indian city. But here, I would say the people have developped an attitude towards tourists. Not really "smart-a**" comments but witty comebacks. For instance, some guy asked if I wanted bananas, I said no and he replied "Why not?" I had absolutely no answer. Bananas are good for you, taste great and are relatively safe to eat. Who doesn't want bananas?

I improvised a hotel while there were a lot of suggestions in the guide. For 300 rupees a night, you can't do much better, but I'll definitely upgrade my hotel choice tomorrow. I need a good night's sleep and something tells me I won't have it tonight.

After a short nap I decided to beat the heat and planned a double combo: brunch and indoor museum. I had a great cumin rice with paneer on the roof top of a roof top restaurant, under a painted Mughal-style kiosk. Best seat in the house. People were taking pictures of me from below. I then headed to a contemporary art museum with works from local artists. I had to wander through the museum to find someone to buy the ticket. I guess it's not high up there on tourists' schedules. Well, it should be. It was colourful, interesting and showed both the creativity and resourcefulness of the artists (a mousetrap with a crossbow system?!? Wow!).

At about 2PM I headed for the Western group of temples, the most famous ones. I used the very convenient and interesting audio guide, ordered at the official Madhya Pradesh Tourism booth from a very nice lady and a wannabe matchmaker ("You have the same colour of eyes"). She blushed.

Khajuraho is famous for its erotic sculptures. Celestial beauties taking suggestive poses wearing see-through dresses, if anything at all. The audio guide makes sure you notice the perfect proportions of hips, waists and breasts and the elaborate and sensual arm and finger positions... Oh, and there's group sex and bestiality too.

To be fair, there are some rather elegant and elaborate love-making sculptures that are, for good reason, the main purpose of anyone's visit to Khajuraho. The whole temple complex (about 8 structures) was beautiful enough for me to stay 3 hours walking around it. It wasn't that crowded either. People probably came in the morning when it's cooler. I managed to take some great pics and make some nice videos (mostly NSFW) while learning more about Hindu mythology. There are other temples in Khajuraho but those were amazing enough for me.

After a quick shower at the hotel (ants!) I walked to the closest internet cafe to write this very blog but there was a power cut, again. Change of plans: I'll go straight to the dance show, near the artifacts emporium, just in time for the sunset over the lake. I had 50 minutes to kill before the show so I walked around the emporium. There were some nice souvenirs of all sizes and styles but the erotic sculpture replicas were no match to the originals' perfect proportions. It makes you appreciate the talent of the original sculptors even more. Some of the artifacts on sale were a bit strange and out of place, like a far fom perfect replica of the afore-mentioned bestiality scene and the statue of a giant masturbating monkey... I ended up buying a surprise for a very special someone (shh! Not the monkey, I promise) at a discount price which, I suspect, wasn't very discount at all. It involved a 200-rupee bribe in the form of a very awkward handshake. "Do like it the movies" I kept thinking. It wasn't as cool. You're never cool wearing a fanny pack anyway.

I had absolutely no expectations for the dance show. I just wanted something to do for the evening. It was great! It was kitschy and a bit corny but the costumes, the choreographies and the music made it all work really well. The fake beards were a treat too. Not a prefect production, but lots of heart. However, the best thing was that I could enjoy the most comfortable seats since I've been over here. My neighbors enjoyed it too as they slept through half of the show.

Well, power's back on, so I headed back to the internet cafe before dinner. Next stop: Allahabad.

Daily nugget: after a bit of personal research, it seems that the most misspelled word over here is "spaghetti". I haven't seen it spelled correctly yet. There was the unpronounceable "spgetti", the way-off "spragahetti", the almost-there "spageti" and the switcheroo "spegati".

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