Chariots and elephants gone wild

---

March 13th

The Rough Guide doesn’t really have a lot to say about Udupi, and when cross-examined by George I couldn’t really remembered why I had wanted to come here in the first place. It was probably something to do with their reputation for good value hotels, excellent cuisine and fine hospitality. Having been sufficiently watered and fed, we went back to our room to watch Kevin Spacey be creepy in “21”. Afterwards, we felt we should get at least a taste of the town so we wandered around trying to find a map.

For some reason people kept giving us a map of Karnataka that had Udupi as a pronounced dot somewhere in the middle. Finding the main temple on our own was surprisingly difficult; because the whole town is centred on it, people don’t really understand what you’re getting at when you ask. Eventually, we followed the noise to what appeared to be a temple square. An elephant was dressed in full regalia handing out blessings, and we stole one for 1 Peso. A well-dressed, clean-shaven man told me gently that I wasn’t allowed to take photos of the elephants, and somehow we were then friends.

Such is the power of Pranesh. P. introduced himself as a documentary filmmaker, and asked if we needed a guide because he did that too. We agreed to meet him later that night, back in the same place, where a festival was set to take place. Not really knowing what to expect, we found a local restaurant serving non-veg and watched half an hour of Braveheart.

As Mel Gibson roared, so did the thunderclouds. As we left, buckets of cooling rain dumped onto our white tee shirts. The locals ran for cover, but we relished the break in the heat and wandered back to the temple square wondering if Pranesh would make it. I don’t think he had left, and we found him quickly. For some unknown reason he stands out in a crowd a hundred strong.

This town is entirely based around the worshipping of Vishnu, who reincarnated himself every couple thousand years and, we learned, is currently BACK on Earth in his 10th form, a warrior. This explains the general state of world affairs, explained Pranesh, although we’re unsure about whether Vishnu is doing the destroying, Old Testament style, or fighting against it.

A local family had paid an extortionate amount of money for tonight’s procession to take place. Although they had paid for the biggest chariot, because it was raining and there weren’t enough people about to haul it (it takes over 200) we got to see the gold chariot come out of its cage. The gist of the ceremony is that the village helps pull the chariot around the square, and the family prays for their various desires to come true. Numerous side rituals, like casting down coconuts filled with evil spirits, and dancing around small oil-fires in black costumes to ward away other evil spirits marked the evening. The resident monks, one of which looks like an Indian Hulk Hogan - complete with a fine head of white hair and long moustache, dress the chariot and place the idol within. With the ringing of the temple’s bell, the chariot is then hauled once around the square in a procession. The procession also includes the elephant who looks naked without her dress and two 15 foot tall puppets, which were dancing and bobbing in front of the band. The procession ends over a line of lit oil and extravagant fireworks.


March 14th


This morning we met Pranesh at 9:15 as planned at the main temple square, and wandered over to the restaurant where the masala dosa was actually invented some sixty odd years ago. Udipi is famous for its cuisine, and the masala dosa lived up to this auspicious reputation. It’s basically a flat rice pancake surrounding a spiced potato concoction that is served with raita (yogurt) and some spicy tomato soup. That and a sugary chai meant we were ready to take on our busy day - or so we thought.

Pranesh explained a little about the square and it’s eight monasteries with eight guesthouses behind each monastery. We wandered to the bus station, where we took a good old rickety bus to the port. On our way to where the ferries leave, we saw a marina full of both boats and yachts. There was also a shipbuilding yard there with three completed ferries that dwarfed everything bar the structure that was used to build the ferries.

The ferries do not leave until they are full. Pranesh knew this and ensured we arrived as the first was almost filled. Soon we were out on open water and a couple of minutes out we saw about five dolphins lazily coming up for a breath every so often. The wind was in our hair even though the boat was travelling at a remarkably slow speed. Soon we had to all transfer boats, as the one we’re in apparently doesn’t like a beaching.

We plopped off the smaller boat in to a comfortable thigh-deep hot sea and waded ashore. Pranesh told us about the place while guiding us to a fantastic beach. St. Mary’s island is so steep and we were reminded just how deep the sea gets so quickly. Surrounding the island, which was naturally both pristine and littered with rubbish, is basalt rock. Huge hexagonal pillars jut up from the sea and frame the beaches. Finding our isolated enclave, we stripped and swam, fighting the strong current and bouncing in the massive waves. Pranesh didn’t swim as he didn’t have a bather, and his Brahmin’s modesty wouldn’t allow him the indecency of near-nakedness. Laid out on the rock to dry, our clothes were ready - almost crispy - in five minutes.

Back on the mainland we went to the nearest air-conditioned, beer-serving hotel we could find and ordered lunch. Not because we’d asked him to, but perhaps because he was feeling daring after the beach, Pranesh ordered and tried chicken for the first time. He made Katherine try his fish curry, which tasted better than it looked. Over some beers/mango juices, we discussed Hindu and Jain philosophies and traditions. We learned that Jainism requires the renunciation of onion and garlic, as these most delicious of vegetables “ignite the passions” and are thus forbidden. P. read my (K) palm a bit, and assessed my energies which he described as ‘restless’. He said I needed to calm down and focus if I am to achieve happiness. I’m going to live past seventy-six, apparently, so I have some time to figure it all out.

Back in the hotel, Pranesh taught us a card game called Donkey, which we all lost once (George thought he had won when he had actually lost which was very funny).

P. demonstrated to us his jewellery-making skills, and revealed he’s in some fashion world record book for the fastest hands in the silver/beads business. It takes him 20 minutes to make a traditional wedding necklace, and the next guy clocks in two hours after. He supported his whole family with this skill from the age of fifteen. He went to Mahatma Ghandi University and took Economics. He once helped a friend who was running for office by canvassing, and realized he knows around 40,000 people in Udupi by name. Often, he remarked sadly, tourists fall in love with him and he cannot return their affections because of his responsibilities to his family and his community. He made a documentary on Udupi cuisine for the BBC Network Asia, which we will certainly be checking out as soon as possible.

We then got into a tuk-tuk with, naturally, one of Pranesh’s friends at the helm. We scooted out of town to the first of three Kali temples. There was a carnival atmosphere as there was a festival going on and the biggest wooden chariots we out. Off with the shoes, and in to a bit of learning. We have a lunar system, star-signs, while theirs is planetary.

In the second temple, we peered into large caves that used to house a dynasty of monks. We learned there is an intricate system of tunnels underground that meant the monks could stay far away from the harmful influence of the outside world. Every so often, one lucky boy would be plucked from school at the local monastery and chucked down the hole.

At the third temple, we saw a family making offerings by sacred fire, then singing and clanging together small cymbals at seemingly random intervals. We only learned later that at all Kali temples, animal sacrifice is an integral aspect to worship. They were probably just stalling until the nosy tourists, with their judging ways, had moved on.

March 15th

We met Pranesh early as we had massages planned, but a trip to the Ayurvedic parlour revealed that the woman hadn’t showed up for work. He offered to massage us both, but thankfully, we decided this wasn’t optimal and declined. Pranesh was totally crushed that one of his plans had fallen through, but remembered that he hadn’t told us about Udupi’s main temple square. With extra enthusiasm, we followed him around his own places of worship, which he knew expertly.

Resident monks blessed us at every turn, and force-fed us flavoured holy water. In the main dining hall, we sat crossed legged on the floor along long lines of locals. First, banana leaves were handed out, followed by a handful of salt, rice and vegetables in Indian gravy. Pranesh told us the monastery feeds 20,000 people every day in this fashion. In this town, it certainly pays to be religious, and the religion certainly gets it’s own back. The temple employs a resident monk, who administers the temples for two years, and usually spearheads some project of improvement for his surroundings. The current monk has finished planning his contribution - another chariot, covered completely in jewels. A life-sized model, covered in plastic gems, sits auspiciously in the centre of the grounds, ignored by all but us.

An elephant blessed us again but this time she was wearing her full outfit that covered her back and head. It was a striking red complimented with little mirrors and semi-precious stones glittering in the lights. Pranesh then told us the story of when they had two elephants; one male and one female. Not so long ago the male elephant went nuts and ran around the town. He was picking up motorcycles and throwing them about as if they were twigs. He was barging into cars, denting them and breaking axles. It took the people of Udupi twenty hours to calm the elephant down and that was only due to one man who had gone to get a tranquilliser gun. So, now, there is only a female elephant giving blessings for a good reason.

Pranesh then took us to a traditional theatre for a bit of Sunday evening entertainment. It was so loud, I mean we were by the speaker but those were the only seats left of around 500. It was a musical with acting interludes and we understood not an iota but the costumes were fantastic. It was like the League of Gentlemen in that there were only male singers/actors. They had made more of an effort to look like a woman than some of the unshaven cabaret girls we saw in Bangkok. From looking around us, it seemed as if this was a bit of a comedy, most people were grinning from cheek to cheek with the occasional laugh.

Time was against us, so we quietly slipped away to grab some nosh at Woodlands restaurant, the best veggie one in town. We said our farewells to Pranesh and he mentioned that it was like saying goodbye to good friends; he’d mentioned earlier that some tourists want this, this, and that whereas we were relaxed and were just happy to be here and to be told about this jewel of a town that we have absolutely no idea why Udupi is off the tourist route. We cannot thank you enough Pranesh for a wonderful insight into Udupi and Brahmin culture.

We headed to the railway station nicely in time for our overnight-train that would take us to Kochi. We were, again, in a three-tiered berth with a multitude of fans blowing dust in our faces all night.

---

Photos

Tee hee!
Great grin

Feeling all Indian
Completely kitted out - holy mark, bindi line, silk sarong, diamond nose piercing.