Indish

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Baffling? Yes. Convoluted? Definately. Frustrating, biased, opinionated and entirely unprofessional? Mostly. Just for fun, here is my attempt at a typical newspaper article. For those of you who have travelled to India, you'll immediately understand the following but for those who have not, I wish you luck! Welcome to India.



Indish Bearing from English

By Carlie Tomlin

Some of timing India is making little little sense. I go Mumbai and little little sense. I go Goa and little little sense. I go Kerala and little bit more sense but same same.

People in the big nation of India speak different different languages but are all under the umbrella of unity that is the great language of English, but not some. English is same same but different. Spoken English of those who do talking from day in and day out in India is not possible to be of understanding the first time around.

Around and around it goes. Where it stops is not here. Please, no complex sentences. Grammar takes on a nature of very very digression and dissolution to the English of those who visit to come here to India. Those visitors have gratefulness and patiences for those of India citizenship who make good good effort to make communications. It is of many many help. One of the ministers of tour in India is heard to have said (I take this from the paraphrasing of my memory) "Tourist are locusts of India but they bring much money even if they do smell sour like too much milk. We must talk English to keep their euros, dollars and pounds!"

Oral language is of correctness of thoughts are communicated with efficiency. The before thought is of the one who is doing this writing. Spoken mistakes of grammatical nature are not so much notice. How so ever, it is an infuriating outrage when these mistakes of English are in translation with very very incorrectness to the likes of signs or menus, but still it is good good.

The fury comes really from the bad bad printing of composition in print, that is, the black white and read all over of the newspapers. The writer of such words as we have here had big big displeasure for newspapers of general even of places like Canada. The nation of India is how to grab hold of the brass ring of English when articles become littered worse than the beautiful Goan beaches with bad figures of speech and illogical, opinionated, disasterous grammar? Each of the countires with in-use English enjoy colloquial speech. Did that Glaswegian cabbie just just have asked to take my dog on a date next next Tuesday or what? But but the Sunday Times in the city like Glasgow is fairer and understanding. Indian Sunday times enjoys no such luck. Is English of English or do we need the linguists of the world to uncover the emerging factor of Indish? Embrace it, run with it India! Do not mask yourself in the colonial cloud of English any longer.

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Comments

[A. Karen]

Hi Carlie, Your article was not little little funny, but but big big funny! You make me to laugh very very much. On a serious note I was oblivious to the fact that we smell like sour milk. lol