Published: August 5th 2007July 29th 2007
i'm just too grateful to not tell you. i get on this computer and cry because people are so loving and so generous.
when people send love my immediate response is to share it with everyone. how incredible is it to be so lifted, so blessed, and i have the greatest privilege of knowing all of you!
i know i'm sentimental, but it's you, all of you! that create this beauty.
i woke up this morning, and i felt something in my body, in my mind, the only way i can describe it is as a clean feeling. something like white light or sun or a healthy body, and i felt distinctly good.
i expressed this to natalie, saying it's a strange day but in the good.
maybe it has something to do with my dream, i thought.
i was on a small boat in rapid waters, there were two people on either side of me. i look up and i will never be able to describe exactly what i saw and exactly how i felt. it was a magical land. the only thing to possibly compare it to is the elven land of rivendell in lord of the rings. but this was its own place. there were shining elephant structures laying across the mountain tops. water all around. just so bright, i was in a heaven of sorts. the boat hit a wave and i flew into the air with my legs crossed (lotus or "indian" style, ha) and safely came back down. the next thing i know i'm in some kind of place and i'm there learning something. but it's all the vague from that point on.
i see some themes from yesterday that influenced this dream, i specifically don't say caused. because i can't be sure which came first. or if either did.
but yesterday a guy that worked where we had lunch was showing us the films he had, that we could watch anytime as we ate, i saw harry potter and showed interest. his reaction made me feel like he knew me, saying "you look like a harry potter, i know" and i asked him if he was saying i look like someone that would like that movie, and he said "yes, you look" and i laughed so hard because it made me happy and told him i like magical movies, and he said again "i know"
later that evening when we were having dinner, we were right by the river and i stopped to look at the rapids commenting on the life of water and natalie commenting on it always moving/changing.
during dinner we shared a table and pleasant conversation with a girl from the US/UK. she does bike tours of northern india every year with a group of people that sign up on her website. they do an 11 day ride up to leh. as well as various others which just sound incredibly amazing to me. so much strength.
yesterday was a very fulfilling day for natalie because of the content of conversations through out the day.
there was mention of the owner thinking to start a starbucks in the past, until people advised him not too, natalie and seemed to both get wide eyed and said "noooo" but he has no intention and we love his place.
i had a lemonana which is lemon blended with mint and ice, so yummy. they laughed because i called it "that green thing"
little adorable boy from my last blog is from nepal. we are curious about him, found out he wasn't doing well in school so his father has him working. there's so much to talk about concerning these things, and i just find it difficult to get into on a blog.
ford is turning manali into a ski resort. sometimes the love in my heart is matched by the sadness of these realities. and so many more. it's hard to point them out because i know there's so much suffering all over the world. whether it's in front of you as you walk down the street or hidden behind four walls, whispered, carried unseen. and i think of so many of you.
i'm listening to some bluegrass music as i write this, starting now, and i'm convinced music can heal anything.
i keep thinking a lot, tsk tsk, about the hero's journey. about the leaving and the return. and some people think buddha didn't return and should have to be king. and i don't know how i feel about it, because he did leave his wife and his child, and what if she wanted to leave to seek enlightenment, could she have left her child? but then the dharma always comes back, because this is the nature of samsara and had he stayed, or come back, she could have left him, their love could have turned sour, someone could have been killed, etc. etc. so it's always hard to say what exactly coming back means. and buddhas are all around us, having chosen to come back.
natalie and i talked last night a lot about inhibitions. reserved nature versus the dreams in your mind. about cultural ideas of affection. we're both trying to let out more of what's inside. learning how to not inhibit certain expression that we identify with.
beautiful beautiful beautiful people!
i love you all so much. i'm so excited for it. i started to write a list of i love you's to everyone i know but it's just too long, trust me, i didn't leave you out! i never knew to such a full extent how every single person i know is a gift, a true guardian, and those messages i get from people i don't know, how much you shine your lights upon me.
i wish i could put you all together, so you could see how much power to change the world you have.
and i hope you know how wonderful you are, do i deserve these things?
i just get blown away.
today i'm inspired by my dream, by the blessings of messages i have received today