Emails 8-10 from Hong Kong TEFL placement

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EMAIL 8 - Friday, February 2nd

Clashing with the British Ambassador, saturating the Hong Kong press again, selling a hole, wild monkeys and awesome Year of the Dog celebrations - an eventful month in Honkers.

Yesterday Phil and I went with some friends to the beach (25c in mid-Winter! ha!) and achieved two world firsts - we sold a hole, twice, and photographed a Buddhist monk in the said hole. It was a successful experiment in ‘anti-real estate’ in one of the worlds most consumption-driven societies; it was also testament to the dumb crap that can spontaneously unfold when a group of young blokes grow bored. After coaxing small children and a random monk into our ‘void’, we gatecrashed the territory’s top arts venue, The Fringe Club, to spread the word about our experience at the monthly poetry evening. It was possibly one of the best day trips ever conceived and the full story is explained in video form, viewable on a very special webpage. Knock yourselves out.

Couple of weeks ago we visited Kam Shan Country Park which is awash with wild, indigenous monkeys - mostly seen as somewhat of a pest here as they invade public roads, steal/break/hump things (in that order), spread disease and the like. Just as we spotted a few of the cheeky rabies-ridden primates, a van pulled up with lots of food. Instantly, in a deafening chorus of monkey screeching and hollering, hundreds descended on the road to fight over what looked like restaurant left-overs. Some ingenious ones immediately took their stash high into the trees or concrete slopes before tucking in, whilst others fought amongst each other in a frankly frightening display of raw and unnecessary animalistic violence. It’s fantastic that I can go on a 20-minute bus journey and be surrounded by monkeys - ‘nature’s clown’ - in what back home would be the equivalent of a day trip to Solihull. Pregnant Burberry-clad 12-year-old chavs are the nearest you’ll find to a primitive life form in the Midlands.

I’ve joined forces with a local activist called Matt who has had lots of coverage with his small peaceful-direct-action group International Action. They do media friendly, Fathers4Justice-style stunts concerning social justice, worker’s rights, fight for democracy etc… This ‘light-hearted’ approach to activism really works out here (www.thebiggerpicture.hk). Protesting like this is rare out here, people aren’t politicised and are quite passive, so eccentric Western activists can really cause a stir, spark debate and raise awareness pretty effectively. Honkers is a small place and, unlike in the UK, full territory-wide coverage can be achieved easily - there is no local press, if you’re covered, you’re covered nationally. With thought, timing, planning and creativity Matt’s reached millions and sparked change. I’ve had hours of debate with him and we don’t agree on a lot of things, but I’ll be getting very much involved, I just don’t think I’ll be trying to get myself locked up - I’d never handle prison food.

Our latest demonstration was in support of local teachers who - like the children - are put under ridiculous pressure. They often work 12-hour shifts and Saturdays, they sit regular exams and 90% claim to be stressed so - after several teachers committed suicide due to work pressures - 5,000 people came out to protest against the government’s insensitivity and inaction. We pulled a deliberately controversial stunt by putting nooses around our necks and had Cantonese signs saying “No more suicides - how many more teachers on the edge?” It was a gamble, but we got a round of applause when we arrived, dozens of people thanked us for our support (since few other Western teachers showed up) and our own colleagues from school really appreciated the solidarity. Plus, we got into all the main newspapers, with some provocative quotes, on the front or first page in most cases. Cuttings here, half way down on the right. =o)

Inevitably the Chinese New Year celebrations have been wicked - though there was only 3 big events because, like Christmas in the UK, it’s a family holiday and everything pretty much just shuts down. Half of the population, 3 million people, return to their families over the border and everyone wishes each other “kung hei fat choi”. Each day for 15 days Chinese people do something special to ensure prosperity and luck for the coming year. On Saturday we saw a big night carnival - lots of floats, music, dancing and a 100-man dragon. We set up in a prime position right at the front two hours early only to find that the parade wouldn’t even be passing us. Thousands were lining the streets when we realised, so I perched on a high wall next to some kids - it was cool seeing everything through their eyes and getting them to dance, yell and clap along. Several countries were represented - there was a theatrical tribal outfit from South Africa, a fantastic Mexican musical parade, some Canadian mounties, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a rich concentration of textbook hot ladies than in the USA’s contribution - several dozen eerily perfect cheerleaders.

Throughout the week leading up to the big day there was a New Year Fair in Victoria Park - a spectacular array of cheap, opportunist, tacky plastic tat and as many variations on the ‘dog’ theme as you can imagine. A particular favourite were dog balloons complete with furry legs, inflated with just enough helium for them to creepily hover on the floor. It was like Camden Market but crazy-busy and a bit shit. The fireworks display on Sunday night made up for it, Hong Kong put on an amazing show and a million people lined the harbour yelling ‘waaaaaaa’ as the famous skyline lit up!

A week previously, the charity I work for gave me and two other teachers tickets to a posh British Council doo but a last minute drop-out meant I ended up giving Matt the spare ticket. This action alone guaranteed the evening was not going to be normal. It was a ‘networking’ reception with free drinks and nibbles, lots of hand-shaking and business card swapping - a really typical, stuffy event full of equally stuffy, snooty types who obviously missed the last boat when the colonialists left in 1997. Just the pretentious nonsense I can’t be doing with, the kind of high-brow meeting populated with smug bourgeois fools I thought only took place in films. Everyone was in suits except Matt, who had donned a Hawaiian shirt - I then felt like I was in a sit-com. As I nodded along half-listening to some old publisher woman brag about her poetry, Matt joined me and proceeded to camp it up and act as if we were a couple. I was happy to play along as the place needed mixing up a bit - but then he saw another opportunity. A fortnight earlier he had asked the British Ambassador to Hong Kong for his support or recommendation in his legal battle. He’d written asking for their opinion on the Tiananmen massacre so he could refer to it in court. Next thing I know I’m dragged over to Blair’s representative for the region and we’re both exchanging cards and arguing about how cowardly the British have been in not making a stand about human rights. It was brilliant and after a 5 minute debate which he didn’t see coming a mile off, we left having blatantly come out on top. Just as we left, we were given British Council pens which had a secret USB storage disc compartment - we’d been given a groovy spy gadget by the British government.

happy new year from the other side of the world!…

Tom x =o)



EMAIL 9 - Monday, April 10th

Hey folks,

What with saving the world, being burgled and trips to the 'motherland', it's been a while since the last grundyspam... I'm still very much involved in our political activist group here, our latest escapade being a photoshoot with Maxim Magazine, HK’s biggest men’s mag which goes out to an audience we really want to engage. It was super professional, they’re going to make a montage of us in our superhero costumes and a 5 page interview, out in May! There was a hair and make-up session, and a confused bunch of photographers and reporters who are used to interviewing sexy ladies rather than eccentric Westerners dressed like idiots. During the shoot they kept asking me to 'look powerful', 'look more powerful', 'give me power' etc... as if to suggest I was facially capable of depicting several levels of "power". I tried hard, though I reckon it's a thin line between looking powerful and looking constipated, you can see the proofs attached! It was good fun, however, my ego was taken down a few notches the following day...

I had my flat burgled on April Fool’s Day, the joke was on me for leaving windows open. I lost my super 'spensive laptop, along with hours of work, photos, videos and the like, the rent money I left out for our Paul Daniels-lookalike landlord, and some frozen peas (I really don’t remember eating them). The place was a mess, they’d been through everything but, despite looking at them, didn’t take my cards or camcorder. 5 policemen were round instantly and I paced about for 3 hours, telling the story over-and-over whilst they recorded my statement and took prints and DNA. Unfortunately, my chicken suit along with some other comedy costumes I’d acquired were strewn across my sofa. "Ah, you are the WTO chicken protestor?", ‘Erm, yes, but I love the police!” Cringe.

I'm all security conscious when out-and-about but was lax with the flat and apparently hadn’t even been double locking the door. Two days later, an officer came round "to talk about home security" - close windows, lock doors might be a start Grunders. He also put up three stickers saying "theft is a serious crime" - if only they were up a week ago, my prospective burglers may have thought twice and turned to less serious law-breaking, such as jaywalking... So it seems I’m a textbook fool, with no insurance - I wanted to air the flat for some visitors, but although I’m on the fifth floor, there’s a building attached, which you can easily use to climb through my window. My bud Phil was brilliant and came round immediately, we joked for an hour about how the thieves lacked creativity and how one could be a more imaginative and original burglar. They could’ve at least tidied up a bit, or why not just break-in and do the washing-up, or just steal things I wouldn’t notice (like a tea bag), or be a bit surreal (steal all my left shoes) - I mean, c’mon, why be so cheesy?

I try hard not to be materialistic but it's frustrating to have to spend the money I've been painstakingly saving since January for travel and to pay off an overdraft. In the end though, I was just left feeling thankful - if not guilty - that I can work it out and absorb the cost. You forget it’s just money and possessions, neither of which ascend with you to any afterlife - and it's only when deprived of material comforts that you realise what's really important. I think about similar projects I did teaching in India and Africa, and there’d hardly be any violins for the dumb Westerner who lost a small fortune and a designer laptop. So now I’m just sticking to crapping myself everytime I hear a noise and feeling creeped out that someone was in my room, and watching me to see when I leave. All good fun.

In other news, I went to China with the school a few weeks back - we were visiting one of the best primary schools in the neighbouring province. It was themed like an underwater kingdom and the whole school reflected its obsession with nature and the environment. I guess moaning about pollution is a safe bet over the border, not too controversial - the kids were all in full body animal costumes at one point (which I obviously thought was ace). I did a speech, which no-one understood and I died on stage, I also did a lesson with students that behaved so well it was positively scary. Later, I joined another class and tried my hand at some marvellously camp and majestic Mongolian dancing. We’d learnt the dance without music - mainly a lot of marching, Whigfield-style moves and unnatural smiling - and then our tutor pressed play and it was none other than an Aqua song, ‘Cartoon Heroes’ - it wasn’t even Barbie Girl. Man, I must've looked cool.

Since I was some kind of guest-of-honour, I got treated like a disabled person all day - the level of care became patronising to the degree of ‘mind your head here’, ‘don’t fall off the gutter’. It figures, as Hong Kongers see mainlanders as backwards and China as generally filthy with danger around every corner. 5 times I had to sit down and eat Chinese food with everyone - as you know, I have issues with the food and usually plea vegetarianism - but after humouring everyone the first couple of times, I resorted to just having a drink and eating emergency back-up food I’d bought along with me. Cultural sensitively doesn't stretch to mystery meats and dodgy black liquid balls. The procedure is a little different across the border, you still sit on a huge round table and serve each other from plates of food in the middle, but every few minutes you stand up, clink glasses and say ‘cheers’ to everyone. In HK and at home, this happens at the start or end of the meal, but in China the etiquette takes on an almost comedy degree of interruptions, at least 20, to congratulate each other on being so awesome.

We stayed in some kind of high class aqua-park hotel, a huge water world with lots for the kids, but it seemed eerily neglected and just plain odd in some places. The kids went on a tour of the park, and I got to do some trampoline bungee, as you can see attached. Being yanked up vertically with a huge elastic band between your legs isn't too pleasant on the testicles...

Back in Honkers, I’ve really been enjoying our last few weeks - there is just over a month left on the contract. Phil and I are now regulars at a great café bar called Joyce is Not Here. It’s like a little family, the Wednesday poetry nights are unpretentious and lots of fun, even though I don’t really like poetry. Then there’s an amateur philosophy night at the Fringe Club each month, which I also thought I wouldn’t appreciate but it’s a really good night out and beats endless drinking in Lan Kwai Fong anytime. Our little group is a diverse bunch, people from all over, all ages, doing all kinds of things - it's just like in 'Friends', but with actual humour and we don't sleep with eachother.

Matt, my activist friend and local celebrity, is off to jail. He was sentenced to 21 days after pleading not-guilty to ‘public nuisance’, an archaic law they pulled out to convict him for a Tiananmen Square protest he did last year dressed as Spiderman. The stunt and case gained worldwide coverage, and he dragged it out to get more media attention - it’s worked and news has spread about Hong Kong jailing a Tiananmen protestor. I sat in court with him and faced the press circus outside afterwards. The judge made my blood boil, calling Matt’s action 'excessive and unreasonable' - bollocks - China’s tanks vs. innocent students was excessive and unreasonable pal. He spoke of the poor businesses and commuters affected during the two hour stunt and how Matt could've bought airtime on the Big TV he climbed up to air his anti-China views. Yeah Right. See:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/somerset/4808332.stm The law here in based on British law and the right to demonstrate is protected under a mini-constitution, The Basic Law. However, it seems it's sometimes less how you protest and more what-you-choose-to-protest-about. China has a totally separate system and it likes to keep the status-quo with HK, as a showcase for troublesome Taiwan and to maintain it's economic fantasticness. Anyway, Matt's been released on bail after appealing, and we've got our fingers crossed that he won't be ‘continually raped’ in prison for being the novelty white guy...

Just after the trial I discovered someone had made a documentary about yours truly. Rather than focusing on my tireless aid work / healing small animals etc…, it was actually about the undignified incident last year when I was tackled by a TV crew for trying to disrupt their live report. It's been a bizarre year...

Everyone's feeling reflective now things are wrapping up. I think for most people, and with other projects I've done, you tend to love it at first - whilst everything is still new and exciting; hate it in the middle - when the homesickness and frustrations set in; and then love it at the end again - when you realise it'll all end and can only think about the good aspects. HK, as a city, is pretty soulless, capitalist thru-and-thru and horribly claustrophobic, hot and polluted - but the experience, people, way of life and little exceptions have made it a place I know I'll move here again for a year or two. Living here is easy, with no tax and everything you can imagine available to buy, plus you can make up to £100k a year with just a teaching qualification... But for now, there's more of the world to see - which portion of it next is something I have to get thinking about... For now, I'm off to Beijing for Easter - got a 24-hour train journey booked, and despite the cash I've lost, it's cheaper for me to just go there and hostel hop back down on trains. It's more ethical and by far best way to travel, as all your Palins and Brysons will agree. Yes, I'll be keeping my gob shut on the political front, and it's true that lots of websites are filtered and I can't type words such as 'human rights' into an email. It'll be cool to get a feel for this big crazy country set to overtake the US, I'll just have to remember to leave the soapbox at home....

happy easter everyone!! festively yours...
tom x =o)



EMAIL 10 - Monday, June 5th

McActivism, manginas, creepy kids, unamused officials, bun races, reflections, most evil practical joke ever

Hey all! Still in Honkers but my contract’s ended, so I’ve under a fortnight left in the capitalofcapitalism, then I’m touring Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and South Vietnam - cannot wait! Over the past couple of months my smug ginger face has graced the front pages, a men’s mag and a 10x life-size poster, I found out the truth about ‘the snake’, failed to amuse a Cambodian official, been to 2 festivals, seen kung-fu, traditional music, dancing and 12,800 buddhas and have been reluctantly ‘exhibited’ to 24 Chinese hairdressers.

Visiting China last month gave some real context to the anomaly that is Hong Kong. I don’t think I emphasised it in my China emails, but the place was a contrast to the obsessive cleanliness folks have in Honkers. Kids crapping in the streets, garbage everywhere and spitting in a national sport - everywhere you go, people are flamboyantly hocking up phlegm. HK used to be like this until SARS hit and everyone started tidying up in a paranoid frenzy. You can see that some cities, like Beijing, are getting there - here, I saw a woman use a pooper-scooper after their child shit in the road, at least it’s a step in the right direction. A small and admittedly gross step, but credit due.

After spending two solid days picking blu-tack out of the dodgy paintwork, I’ve moved out of my city flat and up to Yuen Long - Hong Kong’s answer to Milton Keynes. I now live with Uni bud Phil and mate Angus; all of us are quite self-indulgent in different ways, making for a really surreal and bizarre flat. Par example - on my first night, Phil insisted on doing a ‘mangina’ without warning in my room, which basically entails trapping the genitals behind the legs to resemble a woman. I’m still quite distressed by the continued, random, hit-and-run ‘man-ginaring’ and displays of other men’s bits going on - not to mention guest appearances by “trouser man” - http://img124.imageshack.us/my.php?image=10009288nb.jpg I guess I’ve never lived with lads before, but this can’t be normal… I’m just grateful to them for putting me up.

Anyway, as retribution, I had a 1-metre poster of my face printed and hung it at the bottom of Phil’s bed to scare the living crap out of him. It’s appropriate for Phil as he often hallucinates when tired, and - if my face is dominating his bedroom - he probably won’t touch himself as often (although, worryingly, he’s not taken it down yet, after a week). See fig.1 - http://img233.imageshack.us/my.php?image=phil241ez.jpg Before adorning his bedroom with it, I went to the Cambodian consulate to buy a visa - when they asked me for a photo, I produced the 1-metre version. I thought it was hilarious and cracked up, but apparently Cambodians have no sense of humour - it seemed she thought I was serious… Now that I own a laptop, a chicken suit and a 4-foot print of my head, I can die happy - it’s all a man needs to own.

The boys are generally as un-masculine as me, but they make up for it in their muckiness - Kim and Aggie would’ve had a field day - I immediately donned my marigolds and spent a week scrubbing the manky bachelor pad. The kitchen harboured more unidentifiable, creepy insects and wildlife than one of the local restaurants (wa-hey!). The bath was lined with pubic hair and some areas had never seen a mop or brush. I had to cordon off the kitchen to nuke the menagerie of bugs foraging around, here’s what I had to wear just to make some toast http://img215.imageshack.us/my.php?image=tom453ry.jpg

Our activist group didn’t let May Day pass without doing something very big, clever and vaguely legal. We deflated a HUGE McDonalds advertisement from one of the ferry piers - told the media a few hours before and ended up on the front page! Check it out - http://img132.imageshack.us/my.php?image=mcdonalds69bz.jpg My heart skipped a beat when I saw the front cover, if only I knew what it said. We thought the sign was an eyesore on the harbour, so gave out leaflets and used Maccy D’s to highlight HK’s lack of worker’s rights and minimum wage. Not that I admit it much, but I actually used to work there - and pay in HK starts at under £2 an hour. Although there was a policeman knocking around, he didn’t spot us, and we didn’t hear anything from the authorities, McD’s, the ferry people or Convey, the poster company. This, however, didn’t stop me spending a week stressing that a gang of SWAT cops and Ronald McDonald might smash down my door and deport me to a Chinese labour camp. I guess after the embarrassing McLibel trial in Britain, McD’s has learnt not to try and kick off over these protests. The monstrosity was back up within a week, but you can see how big the advert was in this photo, and here’s another cutting with a better angle.

Our interview in Maxim Magazine also came out last month http://img132.imageshack.us/my.php?image=maxim66ze.jpg Loving the pictures, but again no idea what it says!?

It was a week after returning from China that I had an email from an Israeli friend I made in Yangshuo, telling me that the Hebrew word she told me to remember, as we parted ways, meant ‘snake’. After literally minutes of quiet contemplative brooding, I realised that the dead one I found in my backpack must’ve been a highly convincing fake, planted by an evil friend! So naturally, I call Katie (my colleague and Ali Walin’s best bud), who laughs and tells me to ask her housemate for answers. Turns out that it wasn’t a fake but a real dead snake that Katie and an eccentric old woman we met called Bridget placed in my bag. I recall, during my final meal with about 10 friends we’d made in the town, how everyone seemed particularly keen for me to fetch things out of my bag - obviously, now I realise, in the hope that I’d stumble upon the dead animal. Instead, I found it whilst unpacking at home and spent the following few days worrying that it might’ve been in hibernation and could crawl out of the bin and poison me to death... Truly the most wicked practical joke ever, but I’ve promised to get my own back - maybe not today, tomorrow or next year, but eventually Katie Wasley will get her comeuppance .

Fiona and Chris (Brum, as you may know him) visited a week or so later, giving me a fresh perspective on life here. It reminded me how I saw the place when I moved over, I’d forgotten how weird things like the neon signage, face masks, bamboo scaffolding, Chinglish, high-rises and weather were. No-one expects the place to be 80% countryside. Fi found the obsession HK women have with pale skin here pretty odd - whilst we spend millions trying to make ourselves look browner, there’s a multi-million dollar market here for bleach-based products, acidic skin whiteners and dubious programmes to make you look more white. “White or wrong?” the advert says. It’s still funny to see everyone under umbrellas when the sun is out, even when they’re near a window on the bus. They probably think we’re just as weird for wanting to toast ourselves. Which reminds me of a grilling a local gave my ginger ex-housemate last year…
“What are those on your face?”
”Why they’re freckles!”
”Is there a cure?”

We had a productive and knackering week of seeing everything the territory has to offer. We went to Ocean Park, HK’s original theme park (which the kids at school assure me is superior to the new Disneyland). They have two giant pandas Jia Jia and An An - the one we saw somehow looked more like a bloke in a bear suit rather than a convincing, live animal. It just sat there munching bamboo whilst dozens of people stared. Later in the week we visited the 10,000 Buddha's Monastery in Shatin - although it actually had 12,800 statues of varying size - some cool pictures at the bottom. We also had one of the funniest nights ever doing karaoke, despite my diet coke setting me back £5 and getting ripped off. The guys stayed with me in my tiny flat and Fiona, who'd never travelled, only cried 7 times, which actually means she had a good time. Though I don't think she appreciated being surrounded by an army of cockroaches late one night in Central district.

The Cheung Chau bun festival was in full swing during their visit - it basically entails guys racing up and down huge 60ft bun towers and lots of gong smashing to scare away evil sprits and the like. We also got to see some shaolin kung-fu, some traditional Chinese music, calligraphy and Chinese face changing - I’ve no context as to what the ancient and secret art is meant to be about, but it seemed to be the epitome of the word ‘mincing’ to me - it was a camp bloke in make-up prancing around in a costume on stage for 5 minutes. We didn’t get it at all.

In my relentless efforts to have designer haircuts for next to nothing, I’ve been trusting the Toni & Guy Training Academy to sort my buffont out. It takes literally 5 hours to have colour done but they’re really careful and do a good job. Only, last Friday, my appointment turned out to be a total humiliation. The UK boss was in town and insisted on cutting my hair on a stage, in front of two dozen mainland Chinese student stylists, all of whom seemed bemused with the ‘texture’ of my golden locks. There was a running bi-lingual technical commentary and I was photographed from every angle - at least I didn’t have to pay for a haircut apparently worth £75. Annoyingly, I still have to go back and have more off; otherwise I’ll sweat my tits off in hot-season-SE-Asia.

My last few days in school were emotional; I never thought I’d say that I’ll miss some of the children. One of them, Rachel, has made it all worth it and changed my mind about wanting kids later in life. Other kids are utter pains in the ex-pat arse, but I guess it’s only the really good or really naughty ones you remember. Mary - my teaching partner - and I had lots of fan email, gifts and letters, often from kids who were really quiet in class but actually really loved our lessons. Ones I’ll remember fondly include the kid who thinks he’s a fish, fat kid with permanent encrusted snot under his nose, the half dozen or so permanently mute kids, kid-who-always-says-my-name-backwards (MOT! MOT!), the overtly camp kids who are no way turning out straight, always-crying-kid, kid who wants to marry me, and who can forget the kid who wrote this… http://img209.imageshack.us/my.php?image=school616fq.jpg
”If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?...”
”In Tom’s heart. It is beautiful. It is quiet.”
”Name 3 things you would take…”
“1. Gun (AK47) 2. Wesley 3. Rubbish”
I love how poetically it begins and then the 180 degree turn half way through - also note the level of detail in that he’s specified the model of firearm he wants to take, along with his best mate and some garbage to throw around. Bloody kids. Also check out this and this one! And it’s not just the students - on the last day, one of the teachers sent me a lovely card with some chocolates - after outlining how undeniably brilliant I am, she ends on a question… “But tell me Tom, do you like boy or girl?” Am I really that camp anymore? Am I not a fine figure of butch, robust manliness?

We saw the school annual variety show just before left - it was spectacular but was also testament to how pressured and overworked the children are. With no idea how multi-talented they were, we saw our kids do kung-fu, taekwondo, drama, play in an big orchestra, sing and lion dance. The strangest performance came from a sister school visiting from China who had their kids in full makeup and dressed in bikini tops (including the boys!) dancing to ‘sex bomb’ by Tom Jones. The connotations of the lyrics obviously passed the Chinese by, as they did most of the audience, perhaps thankfully. Creepy picture - http://img423.imageshack.us/my.php?image=schoolvarietyshow290vq.jpg

The school have said they’d always have me back, which is a really tempting offer and it’s cool to know I could always return to HK and I definitely will eventually. I earned about £12000 over the year (more than enough out here) and would you guess how much I got taxed? I had to queue and fanny around for 3 hours at immigration and got taxed a full £2.70 - you pay more tax on a bumper box of Ferrero Rocher back home. For me, Honkers is now the default option - if I run out of choices back home or find myself unemployed, unhappy or in a rut, I know I can always fly over and easily set up again in HK. We’re amongst the lowest paid ex-pats in HK and can still travel, buy gadgets and go out every weekend - so with some actual looking around, there are chances to make lots more - and Asia is on the doorstep! …

It’s weird how we’ve gotten to know HK better than any place in England - each weekend we make the effort to do or see something in a way you wouldn’t in your home or Uni town. We’re regulars at free poetry and philosophy nights and started going to ‘drum jams’ where 100 or so people gather to thump on bongos for 2 hours - really cool atmosphere. WolverChavton just doesn’t compete - compare and contrast: Affordable world restaurants vs. battered mars bars at Middleton’s Chippy, mingling with international models in a club or mingling with pregnant 13-year olds in Atlantis of a Saturday night, people-watching at a tropical beach vs. chav-spotting in Brum’s grotesque town centre. Perhaps it’s arrogant to knock my hometown, but - in fairness - it has been described as “the largest and most depressing contiguous areas of urban devastation in the world”.

I know I’m romanticising it already and forgetting the dark and lonely times, but another thing that’ll bring me back here is the activism. Doing these things back home would make little impact - perhaps a bit of coverage in the local press. Since our demonstrations are really unique to the culture here, we get coverage in all of the media and are already quite well known as a group. I can make a difference as one man here.

From all I’ve learnt about HK under China, it seems little has changed politically - but its days are numbered as a prosperous little outpost. I think that as China develops economically and people are happy to do business directly with, and in, China - HK’s relevance will fade. For now, it’s a gateway to the mainland - an attractive, comfortable blend of East and West, stable enough for people to invest lavishly - but Shanghai, Guangzhou, Chongqing and other cities are booming. In our lifetime, this place’ll probably be ruthlessly cast aside or neglected like a sodden, skeletal, disease ridden old manky dog. (Maybe overstated, but you get my drift.)

What pisses me off is everyone’s flaming enthusiasm to access China’s billion-strong ‘consumers’ and trade with them. This past weekend was the 17th anniversary of the Tiananmen massacre and politically the communist party haven’t changed a bit - human rights, Tibet, torture, labour camps, Falun Gong and religious oppression, mass censorship (sponsored by Cisco, Google, Yahoo - nice one guys), death penalty, Taiwan - a total blind eye to these bastards whilst we make up reasons to bomb another oil country. I joined over 40,000 people in Victoria Park on Sunday, 4 football pitches of mourners with candles, trying to keep the truth alive. Folks are really sombre and emotional about their own people being massacred by the state - but there was little talk of China’s present and ongoing crimes. Awareness of the ’89 massacre over the border is practically zero, in this documentary they show a picture of Tank Man to Beijing Uni students - whose predecessors instigated the protests - and it meant nothing, thanks largely to Western sponsored censorship.

tom x

PS - anyone got any cool tips for SE Asia? Quirky things to visit, or good hostels? =o)

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