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Published: June 23rd 2011
Poo Ice cream
I always thought about this looking at frostysHey Everybody!
My name is Nate. N-A-T-E. I had been writing about my experiences living abroad in Mainland China for about a year and half. The last time I wrote was nearly a year ago. It's time to finally bring closure and start another chapter in my life.
I was so naive and eager to explore 2 years ago when I first arrived in China. I can't believe the time has passed so quickly. Paltry words fail to express the ways in which China has changed my life. So I could never bring myself to write the final passage of my Chinese blog. How to describe what I didn't know how to articulate. And could this be the end? finished? Certainly NOT. This story, and the story of my life, is just beginning.
Since my last blog I traveled the Himalayan foothills, made friends in Taiwan, returned to the USA, worked as a satellite tech in Toledo Ohio, returned to China for a month in April 2011, and moved to Oakland California for Graduate School where I'm currently getting my masters in Industrial Psychology. Another slow couple of months. I'll get out more this year.
The blog
lijiang at night
I told you it was pretty you've been reading has been as accurate as I wanted it to be... I really tried to keep the blog as light-hearted yet genuine as possible. The truth is if you fail to laugh at your struggles you will never get far in this life. So through that lens I will share with you a couple short stories that didn't make the cut.
There were girls I dated before Carmen. First girl I ever dated in China we went on 3 dates. On the 4th date she proposed. Seriously. Told me she could wait the rest of her life for me. This was 3 weeks into living in China, tops. Well that was the end of that, but it was a certainly a new idea to me. Could I get married on a whim, sure. "Hey mom I know I just got to China but I'm engaged" "Send money".
I can remember the first night in my apartment in China as clear as most remember 9/11. My roomie was a strange chain smoking expat who had less in common with me than the Chinese. My room had no A/C in 100 degree weather with 98% humidity and there
Front of Hotel
also in lijiang I believe, maybe Dali. were 2 inch cockroaches roaming about the walls of the bathroom and I had diarrhea. I was laying on a mattress as comfortable as cardboard looking out barred windows into a starless night sky. I had just left the happiest year of my life in beautiful Madison Wisconsin where I absolutely had fallen in love with the city and my friends. I thought "what the f*** am I doing" and cried.
I remember being a minority, a very small minority. There are times where you forget you are different. Your close friends don't act differently around you, but you can't escape it for long. I can remember somewhere in the middle of it all looking at pictures of myself with my friends. Thinking, "Jesus who is that guy". No matter how long I could have lived in China, no matter how good my Chinese or what my passport could have read, I would always be a gwailo. Literally the "ghost man" in reference to my white skin. You can't escape it. I'm not saying I felt discriminated against, although I certainly was at times, just that being different altered every part of my daily life.
After I left
TPR, right before I was to come home I was courted by a school that was putting together a production of English singing concerts. They wanted me to tour China with them putting on musical learning concerts for students. They offered me a lot of money, and I seriously considered it. But I can't sing, I think they would have canned me after the first show.
I remember landing in San Francisco 9 months ago. Walking through downtown and trying to come to grips with a world I felt I knew but was now completely different. I remember going as quickly as I could to Chinatown to find "normalcy". I remember speaking Chinese to anyone who would listen. I remember feeling completely overwhelmed. I remember wandering into a Church for the first time in a long time and saying a prayer, thinking, "what the f*** am I doing" and cried.
It's amazing and funny to think about it all. I loved and love China. I have many more stories I want to tell you, but I can't tell you. Somethings you just can't publish. However if you meet me please ask me about running into the girl who
Guest Room
Our room in lijiang in the foothill of the himilayas. proposed. Ask me to tell you about the full story about my passport. Ask me about needing to go to the emergency room in international waters. Ask about the "fans" of my blog. Ask me about my life with the CCP. Ask me about the US corporal living in my apartment in Zhongshan. Buy me a few drinks sometime, then buy me a few more, and just ask me.
I dedicate this blog to my family. My family, my biggest fans, thank you. I know my mom just wanted to make sure I didn't kill myself, but your positivity about my writing kept me working to preserve these memories. Thank you so much.
I am considering starting a new blog. I guess this is kinda fun. I hope you'll consider tuning in. Until then, my love and thanks is with you all. Zai Jian.
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D MJ Binkley
Dave and Merry Jo Binkley
Hi Nate,
Just realized you are back from China and living near us. We are currently in Larkspur, Ca. Maybe we can hook up sometime.