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Published: September 15th 2022
Today was our second day trip and it started at 7am with a very different company than yesterday, the guide was more of a driver than guide. Apparently he has been a truck driver in Coventry, they must have given a collective sigh of relief when he left. There were only five tourists, so we were in a six seater car, one guy was in the front (Oleg), plus a couple who live in Dubai, the lady, Darli is from Burma and the guy from Algeria, I think his name is Mahmoud. Oleg and driver-guide were chatting in Russian, everyone in Georgia learns Russian and English in school and I think our driver-guide maybe skipped many of the English classes but turned up to Russian.
The sun was shining as we drove through brown and green landscapes with nearby hills. In the distance I spotted snow-capped mountains. There’s a fair bit of agriculture, some cows, occasional sheep and then further away from towns I saw pigs and goats grazing by the roadside. I quickly fell asleep and Glyn later told me this was for the best as the driving was extremely scary at times, eg overtaking on hairpin bends. Driver-guide
had said that there was no need to wear seatbelts. I strongly disagree and everyone buckled up. I take comfort in that our driver is fairly old, still has all his limbs and therefore has survived his own driving thus far.
We stopped after a couple of hours for a snack break, there was still a long way to go. Many of the roads here are very new and there’s tunnels and bridges being built. Driver-guide only spoke to Oleg, I think because he finds Russian easier to speak. There was no guiding being done, which is fine, as it was a long journey and when awake I’m happy staring out of the window.
However, Glyn was not happy. The driver-guide was playing R&B party tracks and Britney Spears. He kept turning it up and with each turn, he wound Glyn up further. Darli was loving it, singing along to Britney and doing car seat dances.
First stop was Kutaisi, I don’t know much about it or why it is a place to stop and I still don’t know. Our guide isn’t the easiest to understand and talked about his time in Coventry. We parked in the
centre for 15 mins and took photos of a beautiful fountain decorated with stylised golden animals and a church. Oleg’s English is better than our guide’s, so I was hoping he would have a better idea of what was going on but he didn’t appear to .
Filling up with gas on the way, the pump sounded like a circular saw through tough metal. Everyone agreed that this was a new sound for us all, Oleg cracked a joke and the ice was broken between us all.
Our first proper stop was Prometheus Cave located by Kumistravi village in Tskaltubo municipality which is 250 km from Tbilisi. It has 22 halls, but tourists get to see 6. It’s 1420 metres long and has loads of stalactites and stalagmites. It’s a good job the cave is big because the tour group was massive. The commentary was in English and Russian, but I could understand neither.
It’s a Karst cave and part of a larger cave system united by a river. It became a tourist destination in the late 80s when a 1km pedestrian way was built inside. It was originally named Kumistavi cave but renamed Prometheus Cave in
2010 as the legendary protagonist was chained to the mountains somewhere near here and tortured by a raven. It has nothing to do with the film of the same name from the Alien franchise, but one of the formations looked like the Alien and some of the fatter stalagmites reminded me of alien eggs.
Our next stop was about an hour further away, Martvili Canyon. Our driver-guide left us after saying the boat ride was around 90 minutes. We had lunch first and started to chat more. Mahmoud works in Dubai as HR admin for Radisson hotels. Darli also works in Dubai for M&S as a manager. She was saying how great it is to work for a British company as it’s only 8 hour days and 2 days off per week; how much we take for granted. I recently got a new job that’s 37.5 hours per week, my previous jobs were 40 and I thought that was excessive! Oleg is a finance analyst for pensions, he has a girlfriend but she has not come. He once visited the UK when he was 14 and ended up staying in Reading of all places! He been to Georgia before
and liked it, but also came via Turkey to open a bank account because it’s very hard to do this back home currently. He’s still waiting for his application to go through. This is about as close as we got to talking about the Russian/Ukraine war and as we were spending the day together, I thought it best not to mention it. We actually had quite a good laugh together as everyone spoke English quite fluently.
You can go on a zip ride over the canyon, Oleg said it was extreme, but not as extreme as our guide’s driving. I’m pretty sure we encountered worse in Sri Lanka, but Glyn insists I’ve slept through the worst bits. It doesn’t help that cows meander in the road, one was lying down! They have no sense of traffic or fear death, they do not move for cars, our driver swerves around like something out of the Fast and Furious (another observation from Oleg).
So the long boat trip was inflatable rafts that fit 4 people plus a Georgian paddling at the back. We had life jackets but heard it wasn’t that deep. It was about 10 minutes to a small
waterfall, everyone took obligatory photos and then we turned back. It was very lovely on the river in the canyon and it was a cool break from the sunshine, but it was disappointingly short.
Afterwards we walked a short way alongside the river to see spectacular waterfalls and shady scenery. We even had a group photo and Darli and I are now following each other on Instagram.
Walking back up, we bought drinks and met our guide. Nearby a sad, rusty old Lada from around the 80s had been abandoned, Oleg was surprised that Glyn used to own one as it’s a Russian car. Glyn tried to convince the others Brits only drive Bentleys and Rolls Royces but no one was biting. I said that I didn’t even know anyone who owned such vehicles and Oleg laughed that this is because they’re all in Russia! They still make Ladas in Russia, especially during these times (quote). In Russia when people use the saying, “when one door closes, another open” they end the sentence with, “yes I know, I’ve owned a Lada”.
According to Google, it’s 285km back, and a 4hr 30 min journey. We got in the car with a little trepidation, mostly at what awful music would be played. Oleg dared asked for some authentic Georgian music and I was surprised that all quickly agreed. Driver-Guide wasn’t sure if he had any, consulted his phone and that was hair-raising as he was driving. However, I’ve no idea what we ended up listening to but it was marginally better.
Meanwhile Driver-Guide overtakes three vehicles as we approached a tight mountain corner. Mahmoud jokes he wants to call his Mum and see us in heaven. Glyn says he’s writing his will.
However, we did arrived back at around 9.30 and all in one piece. Glyn and I are both Insta-buddies with Oleg too.
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Alan Rust
non-member comment
Are you sure Driver-Guide Was Georgian?
I ask because his style of driving is reminiscent of my baptism of Cypriot driving when on my way from the airport to my unit. The bus driver decided it was perfectly ok, to pull out and overtake a car as we were fast approaching a bend. Nothing to worry about there you say, but the thing is, this was on a narrow mountain road!!