Smited by the Chengdu Yerdee-Schmerde!

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The hard seat from Xiangfan to Chongqing arrived two hours late at 1pm. The 14 hour journey was the worst experience of my entire life, and I will never repeat it again. The seat I had was the aisle seat, so even though I wanted to sleep, I couldn't because I had nowhere to lean. Not that it would have been easier if I had had somewhere to lean. The lights stayed on ALL night, and loud women came round every hour all through the night to try and sell fruit or meals. There was a huge group of Chinese men in my compartment who were obviously immune to tiredness and drank beer and got louder and louder and talked, no sorry, shouted all night to each other. A fat man was sat near me when I boarded, and he had to move three times so he obviously only had a standing ticket. He ended up sitting in the middle seat next to me, and spent the full night encroaching on my space. I was really tired from getting up early, and tried to block everyone out by earplugging and eyemasking myself up, but to no avail. There was no table in between me and the row in front, so I had to position my legs so as not to kick anyone, despite my legs getting in everyones way each time a trolley came through. The trolley woman also had no qualms about ramming her trolley along into my legs, rather than asking me to move my leg. None of the small little Chinese people opposite me felt the desire to move their legs so that my long legs could get tucked in, so I had to feign sleep and kick my way around and try and get comfortable. Luckily, I wasn't sat on one of the seats where a standing ticket person had decided to bunk down under it and sleep on the disgusting floor for the night. I know China isn't supposed to have classes, but the people on that train all seemed to be the worst mannered, ill-est, loudest, rudest people in China, and were all disgusting. When we left the amount of fruit peelings and sunflower seed cases and tissues and empty bottles and spit all over the floor was just repulsive, but again I seemed the only one bothered by it. Even the women who had to clean it up didn't seem too upset. I managed to sleep for about four hours, and kept waking up because I thought it was daytime as the lights were still on. There were about 4 babies in my carriage who defied the usual rules of Chinese babies and made an uproarious fucking racket all night long. At some points during the night I had to go compose myself in the (disgusting, again) toilet for a few minutes because I thought I really was going to snap and kill everyone. I got some serious rage issues on that train that I wasn't even aware I had inside me. It was the loudness more than anything. Chinese people are so loud, alllllll the time. But why on a night train? When clearly people are trying to sleep. Although, actually, Chinese people seem to also be blessed with an ability to sleep through anything, at any time of the day, so I was probably the only one being so adversely affected. I've since met a boy in Chengdu who swears Valium (over the counter here) is the way to go for any train journey, hard or soft. I really could have done with one (or ten) on that journey, and if the loud bitch who was selling rice was also selling Vallies, I'd have been much happier.

As it was, I got to Chongqing and was desperate to get to Chengdu as soon as humanly possible. I even learnt the word for now on the way so I could tell the woman I wanted the soonest available train. I was anticipating a five hour journey to Chengdu because thats what my guide said, but fortunately the next train was a bullet train which only took two hours. It was also a lot better and had leg room, clean people who weren't too disgusting and no standing tickets. I had a woman chomping gum behind me in that way that only Chinese people can, but other than that it was a billion times better. I arrived in Chengdu and got to my hostel. It was about 3pm, so I did what was becoming my usual ritual once I arrive somewhere, laundering all my clothes except one outfit, and taking an hour long hot, hot shower to clean off the dirt of being outside in China amongst the populace. I was so tired and still quite angry at China and Chinese people so I went for Mexican food down the road where they spoke english, and ate some beans. This made me feel better, but the thing that really cheered me up was that my beer came in a glass shaped like a cowboy boot.

The next day, after a great 16 hour sleep I went for a walk around the Tibetan area. I'd never been to a town which was so close to Tibet, and the Tibetans are SO cool! They wear cowboy hats and have their hair in long plaits, like a wierd urban mix of cowboy AND indian all rolled into one. They were smiley and friendly too, unlike most Chinese people. I realised how much I think I would have liked Tibet, and all the colourful decorations and good looking Tibetans. Chengdu is a big starting point for the Tibet tour, and I was considering for a few hours buying some warm gear and trying to find a tour group to go with. If I had done, my visa for China would have been cancelled so I would have had to carry on through to Nepal and India, and I'm really looking forward to the beach/party time in Thailand so I decided against it. I got lost and ended up far, far away from my hostel and had to get a taxi back. I realised when I got back that actually, I think my patience with China is pretty much done. I was so pleased to be back in the nice clean hostel, with the nice clean people, and away from what China actually is, I decided to chill out there for the night. I had a few beers, watched a film, and met a French guy called Mattieu with a crazy beard. He was a architect, and also in a soul band called the Free Beez. They'd opened for Sly and the Family Stone, so I'm guessing they're pretty good. He had a CD but I wouldn't let him play it in case I didn't like it, which would have been a bit awkward. We went to a little bar across the river called Dave's Oasis, which was the only reason Mattieu was staying at this hostel. The owner of the bar was really cool, but seemed very upset about not being included in this edition of Lonely Planet. I felt bad for him, and realised how being in the book can make or break a bar. He seemed a bit stuck in the past, but he had Newcastle Brown Ale and Old Speckled Hen, which amazed me. His rum was pretty cheap too.

Me and Mattieu had arranged to go to Leshan to see the Great Buddha the next day, but when he came to get me at 10am, I was still asleep, and was too tired. I hung out at the hostel all day, and was feeling like I had a really bad cold. Chengdu's not that warm, and I don't have proper clothes with me, which probably didn't help. I'm pretty sure though that I actually caught something from one of the disgusting people on the train because everyone was sneezing and spitting everywhere. I'd been feeling like I was coming down with something for ages, but nothing had materialised (probably the baijo killing the bacteria on the spot) but now it seemed to all hit me at once. I hung out at the hostel that day and most of the night with some other people. I ate at a beef restaurant and had beef noodle soup, beef pancakes and accidently ordered beef carpaccio, raw beef, again. It was fine though. My lovely bag that Jacie bullied me into buying also snapped one of the straps. I personally think this was in protest at having to have been on that gross hard seat train, something my lovely bag didn't deserve.

The next day there was a Rock concert called Rock Aid Sichuan which was in collaboration with some Finnish bands and was to help raise money for a primary school that was destroyed in last years earthquake. There were some really western Chinese bands who were a bit emo, and some good Chinese metal bands. Nothing too rough, but nice enough. We got a great taxi driver on the way there who handed us back half our money because he'd got lost. The Finnish band were called the Immortals, I think, and their drummer was beautiful, but they weren't on long. It was interesting to see how all the Chengdu Westerners act. Theres quite a lot of Westerners teaching English in Chengdu and they seemed quite alternative, but not especially friendly. I had the scariest experience ever, when I went to pee in a Portaloo, and it wasn't balanced properly on the ground and tilted as I was peeing. I was so scared, I had visions of that Jackass episode where they barricade a door shut and push over the portaloo and Johnnie Whateverhisnameis gets covered in shit. I'd barely pulled my shorts up and I jumped out of there, I was so scared. Me, Mattieu and a Kiwi lad, Ben had to keep making trips to the shops outside to buy beer because it was way cheaper, which slowed down our drinking but as we'd started at about 2pm and hardly had any food (I bought a burger from a Kiwi man, but it was raw on the inside, so I didn't wanna pay for another) we were all pretty hammered by about 9pm when the good bands came on. The after party was in a bar called Hemp House so there were lots of skinny white boys with dreads and trust funds, but us three had a good time.

Next day me and Ben were soooo hungover we just slept all day and got up for food about 6pm. My cold had been made worse by the dust around the field where the concert had been, so I just spent the next few days sleeping, hanging around the hostel, eating their food, watching their DVDs, planning the next few weeks, updating this blog, occassionally venturing out for Western food and generally feeling shit. I was also waiting for my mp3 player to arrive from Xi'an, which had been posted once, but rejected by the retarded hotel receptionist so I had to re-organise for it to come again. Its been nearly two weeks now and it's still not here even though it should only take two days. Fingers crossed. I went to the supermarket and stocked up on oranges, tomatoes, vitamins, real butter, a bar of dairy milk and whisky in a bid to make myself better. I would have bought brocolli but theres no kitchen here.

Almost a week after organising to do it with Mattieu, I got my lazy arse over to Leshan to see the Great Buddha. It was shit, and not very great at all, lol. It took 2 hours to get there, took me about an hour to walk around it, and then another two hours on the bus back. It cost a fortune too, but I'd had it on my list of things to do from when I was at home, so I wanted to see it. I would not recommend it, if you ever come to China. However, flip flops are suitable, lol. The public bus from the train station to the statue was the best bit, when I got accosted by a group of 12 year old Chinese boys. The roads were really bumpy and my boobs were flying all over the place, lol. The whole bus was staring at me, but I could hear the boys in the back practicing their English and then asking me my name, age, where I was from, if I spoke Chinese, and then come ask me, but not understand anything I replied. "My name is Terri" caused particular amusement. Thanks Mam. Because I was really late arriving, it wasn't very busy at all which was good. A mother & daughter pair from Canada who were in my hostel had got on the same bus as me, but I'd heard them talking to each other earlier and the girl seemed like a right little spoilt bitch, so I tried to sit far away from them. Unfortunately at the Buddha, they managed to find me and talk to me. They were from Alberta, and turns out they were both spoilt bitches, who seemed obsessed with telling me how rich Alberta was, and how rich they were, (but not spoilt, lol) and how they knew so much about everything. They'd been in China a month, and had only used a squat toilet once the entire time. It was a bit of a shock for me to come accross Canadians that I don't like, it's the first time thats happened. Jacie text me that night from Shanghai about some Canadians she'd met who were stupid and asked if mine had been from Alberta like hers, which they were!! Haha, I think I might be skipping that province when I go live there. The Mother and Daughter invited me for Thai food with them that night, but I said no, under the guise of not liking Thai food, and went somewhere else alone instead, which was much more preferable than being faced with the oxymoron that is horrible Canadians.

The next day, I decided I was on a roll, and would go do another touristy thing (was feeling better, the whisky and Dairy Milk clearly hit the spot!) and go to the Panda Research Base. I had to be ready for 7.20am the next day, and went with the hotel tour. There was me, an American lady called Debbie about my Mums age, two Belgians (with really great skin, oddly enough. My skin is terrible because of all the pollution here, I was going to ask how he managed it, but thought that might be a little odd.) and a 60-ish year old married couple from Alaska. I learnt that Alaska has a huge area of rainforest, which I would love to see. Also, fossils like huge teeth are sold in stores in Alaska and people buy them as mini-stools. I think I'd like to go to Alaska and buy some. I think I need to go before they create a law for the sale of fossils. Our guide was rubbish, but the pandas were AMAZING. They didn't even look real, they just looked like people in Panda suits. They look really dozy when they sit around, all sprawled out, with their bellies out, and laying down cos they're so lazy. I loved them. Before I came, I read about a drunk man who was mauled by Pandas because he climbed into their cage to give them a hug. Now, I totally understand why; I wasn't even drunk and I really wanted to, they were so lovely. Debbie got some amazing photos but I didn't get good ones, so I've copied hers onto a CD to use as my own. (It's such a good job I keep meeting people who like to share their photos or I'd have none!)

I wanted to go straight back to bed when we got back, but Debbie asked me if I wanted a beer. I love afternoon drinking, and even more so when it's only 11.30am, I've had five hours sleep, and no breakfast or lunch,so of course I said yes! Debbie's from Kansas, where she'd been a lawyer for twenty years, and was now teaching post-grad law to Chinese students in Chongqing. She was telling me about what she did in the US, and seems to have had a great break by getting this job in China. She's always wanted to travel and teach, but had kids to look after etc, and I felt really pleased for her. She seemed totally in love with China, so I felt bad bitching so much about it to her, but I don't think she minded. We went shopping, and I bought a few things. Considering my hatred for haggling and shopping over here, this was a big step for me, and I bought six whole things!! We saw a shop selling rugs made of bear and tiger skin! The bear skin still had the nose on the end! I wasn't too sure if it was real or I would definitely have bought one. Compared to the reindeer furs we saw in Manchester though, the fur wasn't particularly thick or lovely, so I think I'll wait til I can get my hands on a cold weather animal instead.

We went for hot pot, which comes from Sichuan originally, and it was soooooo spicy, I couldn't eat hardly any of it. I really didn't like it, and I think they put tons of lemongrass in it, which I hate. I tried to persevere and eat some of it because I was really hungry (we'd been drinking all day and I'd only had some dumplings) but at one point Debbie asked if I was alright, because I looked like I was about to die, lol, so I gave up and sat back with more beer. Chinese people had been looking at me, and when I went to the loo, I realised it was because my face was bright red. We were both absolutely knackered, and just about walked back to the hostel and got some ice cream from Chinese KFC type place. Then we went back and got some more. Eddy, the lovely manager from the hostel gave me some good news that my parcel should be here in the next two to three days which made me happy. I'd put some laundry in during the day, and was so tired, I left it, even though someone could have stolen it because I was too tired to go looking for it, and went to bed. All in all, a successful day, shopping AND parcel should be here soon.

While I was ill, I'd decided that my patience with China really had run out, and so once my parcel comes I'll get the train down to Guilin. I should be going to quite a few other places, but can't be bothered. I've left the best provinces til last, but have decided to skip them and get down to the south where it's warm & less Chinese. Once my parcel will come, I'll take the 24 hour train to Guilin, spend 2 or 3 days there, and then straight accross to Guangzhou to get into Macau. My flight to Thailand is on the 6th November, and I should be in Macau on the 2nd November. This is about two weeks before I need to get out of China because of my visa, but it's all good. If I want to come back to China at some point, all the best places are really close together and I could do it in a few weeks if the need takes me. Which I doubt it will, but never say never.

I'm completely up to date now, so the blog is back in present tense, and I'm planning. Again, a bit like Nanjing, I'm hanging around waiting for the postman, but so long as I get down to Guilin by the 31st October, theres no rush. Although I would like to be there sooner. Once I'm in Thailand, I think I'm going south immeadiately, to find a beach and stay there for 4 weeks. My mums probably flying out to India at the beginning of December and I'll hopefully fly accross and meet her there for the month & xmas.

So there you are, my blogs all up to date, and the next time you hear from me, I should be in Guilin, Macau or Thailand, having a much better, less Chinese time!

UPDATE!! The Post Office gods were clearly with me when I wrote this entry, because the very next day, my mp3 player came in the post, very exciting! Anyway, Air Asia were also having a bit of a sale, and I think I was getting cabin fever from being in Chengdu for so long, so I bought some flights:

2nd December, Kuala Lumpur to Kolchi (Southern India)
21st February, Bangkok to Yangoon in Burma
19th March, Yangoon back to Bangkok
25th April, (Total impulse buy) KL to Brisbane in Auzzie

So it looks like i'm doing the working holiday thing in Auzzie next year. That flight was only 45 quid though, so even if i get a better offer, I don't mind not using the flight. I also bought a (soft sleeper, I'm such a tart) ticket to Guilin for the next day, and will be in Thailand by next week. Score.

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