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Published: December 15th 2006
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(Friday 13th)
11:30pm Friday evening, we were out having a few beers and noodles, when Joakim got a call from his wife, saying the director of the film that we were extras in was looking for us. He gave him a call, and was told that they wanted another foreigner to have a speaking part. We got a taxi to the hotel that all the important film type people are staying in, and had an impromptu audition for Joe, with Chester (the Chinese bloke who came to Beijing in May) acting as translator. They thought we were great, and agreed to take all of us to where they were filming, a bit north of Xi’an. The film is called the Xi’an Incident, about Mao, and something happening in Yanan province. Not really sure, I’ll look it up. There’s a Canadian doctor involved as well, Mao shouts at him, apparently.
6:30am, we all got picked up from our respective abodes in a little minivan. We were then told that they hadn’t been able to get us train tickets, so we would be sitting in the little bus all the way. Fun, especially when they said it was a 6 hour ride.
In Chinese terms, that’s about 8 or 9 hours. After breakfast of fried dough sticks and warm soya milk, we set off. Artemis and I slept almost the whole way, but the bits of countryside I saw were very pretty. Artemis had to come as there wasn’t enough time to find a dogsitter. And I thought it would be a good opportunity to find out how good a traveller she is (the answer is brilliant). Luckily, we had prepared ourselves for the Chinese time and a longer journey, as it did take eight and a half hours. Filming was to start at seven the next morning, so we wandered into town for a few hours. Feeling like the Beatles. It’s a really small, remote place, and I don’t think foreigners had ever managed to find their way there before. People started following us as we walked, and people inside shops were coming to their doors to watch us. It was exactly like the movies, people were stopping what they were doing halfway through, a guy cooking over a boiling vat of oil stopped stirring and watched us with big ears and an open mouth as we walked past, conversations halted
mid-syllable, people on bikes bumped into each other as they looked at us rather than the road…it was fun. We found a bar to hang out in. An odd mish-mash, the actual bar was very swish and modern, funky lamps and bottle holders, the rest of the place was sticky carpet and rickety wooden tables. The owner thought we were great. We went back to the hotel at 7 for dinner, got piles and piles of very good food and beer, chatted with some of the other actors, and tried to find out what was going on the next day. The boys got the script, and from there it got very confusing. The script was in Chinese, but next to the lines of the Canadian doctor was written ‘speak in English’. We asked the director, assistant director, make-up boy, tea lady, and got different answers from everyone. Some said it had to be said in Chinese, some said it was OK to talk in English. Eventually, it was decided Joakim would do it. Which was irritating when we all got to filming, and the big bossman said that he had to keep his face mask on, and it didn’t matter
what he said, as it would be dubbed anyway. Most of the films here are filmed silent, then the actors record sound later. But someone else was to do the voice of the doctor anyway.
7.00am, all on a little bus to the middle of nowhere, where the incident actually took place. No time to see anything else in the area, but it’s a gorgeous place, well worth another visit know I know where it is. Lost Artemis about 8.00am, to the make-up lady, and she was just passed from person to person, all feeding her dates and bread, til her belly was so huge that she just rolled around. Very exciting filming stuff, same scene over and over. They dropped us to the train station after all was done, about 4pm. I stuffed Artemis down my jacket, but she popped her head out just as I passed the scary ladies at the x-ray machine. Not a chance we were getting through, the biggest stoof sideways onto me, and just stepped forward or back whenever I tried to move. The boys told me just to keep walking, but easy for them to say, they didn’t have a portable wall-type
creature in front of them. They realised nothing was doing, Joakim went to plead. Nothing. We found the assistant director who had got our train tickets, and explained the situation. In the end, it was decided Artemis would take the bus. I said I’d go with her, but that wasn’t allowed, as the train ticket had already been bought. The bus driver said he’d look after her for 50 yuan (4 pounds, more expensive than our tickets!). When we asked how we’d get her back, they said the driver at Xi’an would take us to her when we got in. Tomorrow morning. What? Who tomorrow morning? Us. Artemis would arrive tonight. We get in at 8am tomorrow morning. The bus is twice as fast as the train. Yet we were on the train! And the bus is more comfortable, it looks like the Knight Bus from Harry Potter, a double decker stuffed with white-linened beds. Anyway, it was all worked out. I was convinced I would never see her again, especially when the bus driver asked how much I had paid for her. As we turned our backs and limped sadly back into the train station, I heard a yelp.
Turning, I saw a Dalmatian puppy start on Artemis. However, six ladies jumped on the Dalmatian, and tied her behind the bus, as they fussed and chirped over Artemis. Lucky she’s so ugly she’s cute.
Very unhappy, uncomfortable train home, it was far too hot, and I was on the top bunk, about four inches away from the ceiling. However, we eventually found the driver at Xi’an train station, in the pouring rain, he took us to the hotel where the assistant director had magically appeared, Artemis in his arms. She had slept on someone’s bed last night, and was the fattest I’d ever seen her, stuffed with dates, bread, eggs, noodles, and anything else the ladies on the bus had. I was amazed we had seen her again, not so amazed when she started pooing dates all over the kitchen floor as soon as she got in the door.
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