Ode to the toilet

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There are many things for which we thank
As we sit in our western homes
But its a safe bet we often forget
Our humble ceramic thrones

Thats right the loo, the lav, the bog
You find them everywhere
That porcelain base, its every place
But please take heed and care

For if you travel to the East
To countries far and wide
The Asian loo will wait for you
And this I shall confide

A hole in floor begins the spot
Then foot rests to either side
And then thats it, when you want to sit
There's nowhere for your bum to ride

You balance on your feet and squat
An art form to learn well
A couple of beers and then there's tears
As you'll fall straight in to hell

To push, to pee, to move, to wipe,
They all require finesse
But thank the lord is all i say
that i dont wear a dress

So please be warned and be prepared
Should you ever this way pass
If you're caught short in an Asian fort
There's nowhere to rest your arse



Just a quick aside from the normal travel stories. Latest idea for a job when i get back is a poet....or maybe a toilet attendant. Love to all :-)

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Photos

The Asian toilet
You'd be amazed just how much time people spend talking about their experiences on these things

Comments

[Lisa]

Toilet Humour
Excellent poem but i feel that it needs bringing to peoples attention that if you are caught out on a lonely french motorway you may sometimes come across these (yes even in civilisation). That was a bit of a shocker but was years ago so they may have since improved (god I hope so!!!!!!!). Continue to enjoy, don't eat any curry!!!

[Mum]

Very French
Oh yes, believe me they do still exist in France and often in the most unexpected cafe, so next time you visit France you will be well versed (excuse the pun). When did Dave discover his poetic talents ? It couldn't have been while he was sitting on the loo! Lots of love, see you very soon! Mum XX

[Peter G]

Genius! though you have always had a flair for this sort of thing - I am talking about toilets not poetry of course.

[Auntie Rosie]

Exotic loos
The loo looks pretty good to me - it's clean has a floor walls and a door. I have definitely seen worse. If you get to Lke Titicaca watch out - hole, bucket and only quarter of a door. Joking aside you must be having a wonderful time. I thought I would write this as Sarah was very rude about my oldness!!! See you sonn we arrive in Sydney on the 3rd and Melbourne on the 7th. Enjoy China Love Rosie and Sarah

[Valerie]

toilet debate!
Sad I know but I feel the need to let you know that in France those "toilets" are in fact called Turkish loos. I got so much stick over the years for what you guys think is a genuine French loo that I must stress this point... Dave, great poem nonetheless, am truly impressed! Lots of love to you both, keep safe and keep those emails coming!

[Xiphiax]

French indeed
Yup I have seen these in France as well in some gas-stations next to the freeways. They even look worse in france sometimes. But if you really want to see these kind of toilets in a very very bad conditions you need to go have a look in Marocco. They say its more hygenic(sp), but I find them rather dirty.