reflections of 1 year in china

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The experience is loud.
and noisy, and crowded and dirty and in-your-face. It's like being at the dirtiest house party ever, where everyone is talking and yelling at once, there's a long line for the toilet and the dance floor stinks like body odor and rotten tofu.

Smells
If you find a smell that knocks you off your feet, it's probably tofu. It's brown, fermented and stinks like last years gym socks floating in a cesspool of mosquito larvae . I tried to eat it once in Beijing, but the smell of my breath after the first bite set me up for spastic convulsions.
The other smells are a mixture of feces, urine, paint fumes, dead fish and standing water of puke and motor oil.

cellphones.
It's not rude to answer your cellphone in a meeting, during a competition, in an elevator, while the doctor is talking to you in the exam room. The only place a cellphone is forbidden is in the x-ray room. go figure.

In addition there is no possibility of taking a quiet nap on the train or anywhere else, due to other passengers talking as loud as they can on their cellphones, as if the recipient were listening through a tin can hooked up to a piece of string on the other end. If you have a cellphone, the rule is to talk loud so the rest of us can listen to your conversation about your love and money troubles.

If you want to ride the train, get there early, because people will cram into the car past maximum occupancy, and squeeze up against the doors. Standing for 4 hours is not uncommon during festivals. If you sit next to the window, you may be able to catch a small ripple of fresh air squealing between the glass panels. Don't even think about the toilet because it's common to go without one.

People spit.
It starts with an introduction of low brooding, the sound of a rake over loose gravel, but actually it's only the sound of an hours worth of phlegm and a mixture of coal dust, curdling like the tar balls on Florida beach.
Expectorating viscous pools of green and yellow is the least of my worries. There are worse things you could step in, over here.

Toilet manners.
If you have to go, then go. Literally, drop your drawers and go. It's a common site to see kids as old as 10 years pooping on the side walk, in front of stores, and next to trash cans, but I've also witnessed on a few occasions, grown men and women doing the same. In a country of so many people, sanitation should be, but is not a priority.

If you find a restroom, hold your breath.
Luxuries like toilet paper and soap are only found in fancy hotel restrooms.
The floor is usually puddled with urine, and spit and feces. During the time of the month when all women share a common element, bloody sanitary pads are left on the floor next to the porcelain hole in the floor. It's someone else's job, is the motto. So everything is left for someone else to clean up.

The paradox of Walmart
Rich people go to Walmart. In the winter, they can be seen in soft fur coats and hideously permed poodle bouffants, but even disguised in fancy garments, they blow their nose on the floor, and stamp it out with a stiletto heeled boot. Tissues are used to wipe your fingers on AFTER you've picked or blown your nose on the floor.

Driving
Cars drive on the left and right side of the road. Sometimes there's a line painted down the center of the road. I don't know what it's for and apparently neither do most drivers. T-bones an fender benders are common as there is no right of way. The rule of survival is basically, who's faster to cut in line?

Hospital
Don't bother waiting in line, because you'll be there all day.
Learn to cut in line and you'll shave 20 minutes off your wait.

People smoke and spit and blow their nose on the floor in the hospital. It's common for the hospital rooms to be stuffy, with 8 beds of coughing patients and smoking family members talking loudly on their cellphones.

Be proactive and tell the nurse to change her gloves before she handles your needle. Be proactive and make sure they use new and clean materials. It's common for nurses to "look" like their going to change their gloves, but not actually do so.

Penicillin and antibiotics are prescribed for everything! Without taking a look at your symptoms! If you have any allergies to antibiotics, be very persistent to know the molecular structure of the compound so you can research it online before they inject you. My first doctor kept prescribing me antibiotics without looking at my symptoms. When I had a reaction he shrugged and said he'd never seen such a thing.
Basically, you need to learn how to be your own doctor, because hygiene is a scary issue. If you have a choice, get a young doctor with westernized methods.

-t

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