The room of pink balloons & the naked teacher

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.....having rescheduled my tutoring class with Tianyi (George) from Sunday morning to the evening I am invited for supper rather than lunch. It's the same size, just a different selection of dishes, fish, chicken, beef, vegetables, doufu etc. If they're putting on a show for the foreign teacher they're keeping it up for a long time. I'm pretty well used to the whole animal or bird being cooked by now. There's no cultural obligation to eat any particular part as a delicacy & I am happy to let George take care of the chicken's feet while his father takes the head. Grandma is a great cook.....

…..it's interesting how much ground you can cover with limited abilities in each other's languages. We end up talking about the source of the chicken & I am asked whether there are “chicken factories” in Australia. Unfortunately, yes. George's father explains that they buy their chicken from the market as the factory chicken is fed with “bad food”. Some common ground here & definitely an awareness in China which might help keep some of the worst excesses of our farming methods at bay, though I doubt it.....

…..I am trying to prepare for the trip to Harbin next week at the start of the spring holiday. Harbin weather report for the next ten days ranges from a maximum of -8C on one warm day to minima of -28C at night, about 10C below a home freezer. Booking accommodation by phone can be an interesting experience. spelling names, giving contact details being prone to error however many times you repeat the details, “...no, no, V for Vampire, not Bampire. No, not Pampire, Vampire...”). Always get written confirmation by e-mail if possible......

…..I don't take any notice of the chicken feet & duck's heads in meals any more, the ordered chaos of traffic intersections is normal & I look on two kilometre visibility as a clear day. One thing I don't think I will get used to is the reprehensible habit, mostly among men, often but not always, middle aged, of coughing up whatever is bothering them & spitting it out wherever they are. In the big book shop in the city centre I first hear, (it's always a very audible process), then see a middle aged man walk along one of the aisles & hawk on the floor, barely breaking step. I've seen it in the Da Run Fa too, not often & not in the fresh food section thankfully. It makes you realise why the Chinese at home are very particular about leaving shoes at the door & having a ready supply of slippers, even if some are a bit tight on my feet.....

….back to my amusement at the contention that 3 cranes on the Adelaide skyline constitutes a boom, I often count the construction cranes around Yangzhou, this quiet little backwater where there is nowhere near as much construction as in some bigger centres. On a day of reasonable (for eastern China) visibility from the New Bridge I count, including 4 visible only from the end of the bridge, a total of 32. On one construction site alone on the west side of Yangzhou, another cluster of 16 or 20 storey apartment blocks, 15 or 16 cranes.....

…..the English oral test is over. Not too many ridiculous answers this time (remember “Yesterday is chocolate, tomorrow is green” from the last test?) Maybe they ARE making progress. We did show them the format for the test in the reviews last week, though they still had to think about the answers. I asked one boy, “What would you like to buy your father for Christmas?”..... “I want to buy my father a skirt” .....”A skirt? For your father?” “Yes, a skirt”. Well, it was grammatically correct so he got more points than the ones who said, “Christmas want to give mother is book”.....

…..I see a very overweight girl in her twenties eating an ice cream at the Da Run Fa. I only mention it because it's such an incredibly rare sight to see such a thing among the teeming millions constantly buying or eating food! Now that the boots are out for winter, & what a selection of stunning, wacky, loud, high-heeled, flat bottomed, daggy & elegant boots, it's like a constant fashion show in town & even around the school.....

…..I know it must be tiresome every week reading yet another report of restaurant meals at ridiculous prices but tonight's birthday celebration for Liz at the duck restaurant in town is notable. For 20 people to have much more than they can possibly eat, great quality food in a beautifully appointed private room, duck, (of course), fish, chicken, beef, pork, & some interesting & really tasty vegetable dishes plus a few beers, then to have the copious leftovers packaged into take away containers by the waitresses afterwards & for each to walk out, very satisfied, only Au$8 lighter, is unbeatable.....

…..having said that the comparative maths should be mentioned. A foreign teacher's salary is ¥5000 a month or about Au$800. That's clear, after the ¥10 or about Au$1.50 tax! Should that be compared with an Australian teacher's wage? We get basic accommodation free, with electricity & internet provided &, even with lesson planning, work less than 20 hours a week. We can eat at the school 3 meals a day if we want to, including breakfast 5 days a week at the western cafeteria. One thing is for sure. Without even coming close to bending, let alone breaking, the bank it's possible to eat out & sample an incredible variety of food several times a week without even scratching the surface of the available eating places in this medium-sized city alone. It's the thought of what the residue will be worth back in our home countries that is the only cloud on the horizon.....

…..I try out my combination stir fry pan / slow cooker. They were on special at the Da Run Fa for ¥88 or Au$14 so I thought I'd lash out, especially with the cafeteria being closed for part of the Spring Break when I'll be at least based in Yangzhou. I cook up some leftovers from the duck restaurant last night. It still tastes great.....


…..I phone the Sleepy Inn Hostel, Beijing, to confirm my booking as I'm sure my e-mail address has been lost in translation. The girl on the other end this time doesn't appear to speak much English but I understand most of the conversation & that my booking has been noted, the first time I've understood more than 5% of anything said on the phone. Now that must be another milestone in the learning process.....

…..I am invited to visit Dr. Wei's new apartment on the west side of Yangzhou in an afternoon when an rare coincidence of free time permits. The “house”, as most urban Chinese refer to what we would call a unit, flat or apartment, depending on our brand of English, is just a shell at the moment & contractors are due to discuss how to fit it out.....

…..I don't go to the west side all that often but the amount of construction going on is staggering. Building height is restricted in the historic centre of Yangzhou so, contrary to most other cities I've seen, the buildings get taller as you move further out. As usual apartments are built in huge clusters. In the case of the one I visited relatively low-rise, only 6 storey, but with a lot of 12 & 16 storey blocks around & taller ones being built nearby (see photos).....

…..the unit / apartment / house is on the 6th floor. The first notable thing is that there is no lift. Ah, that's why the Chinese are so slim. The 12 storey blocks, I'm told, do have lifts. The whole place is very solid, concrete & brick, double glazed windows, north - south orientation & some very interesting features created by the roof space. It looks very spacious inside, has a mezzanine level & some very odd corners but it will be interesting. The door (about 30cm above the current floor level & in the middle of the kitchen opening onto the south balcony) is an oddity that is noted but can't be changed as it would affect the external appearance. I wonder who thought of that?I don't think the doctor is all that impressed.....

…..I have a problem with one of the camera settings & say, in Australian English of course, “Bugga!”. I then hear Dr. Wei muttering, “Bugga, Bugga” during the inspection.....

…..we have a look around the big shopping mall at Century Mart after eating at a food hall there. You buy a card at the entrance then choose what you want from any number of food & drink shops. Any left over amounts can be refunded as change or used on subsequent visits. I am told to sit down & secure a place while the ordering is done by someone competent. Another good feed &, as usual, paid for before I even know anything has been ordered.....

…..my new friend from Jiangyan, Fei Fei, (Miss Piggy), has promised a welcome from family, fellow students etc plus shopping bargains should I ever visit Jiangyan, a very small city, I'm told apologetically, just past Taizhou, a few kilometres east of Yangzhou. I decide I need a big backpack to take to Harbin & Beijing but don't want to spend a fortune so I decide to go.....

…..mistake no.1. I have bought a ticket for Taizhou but I actually need to go to the next town. Mistake no.2; I only allow an hour to get to the train station. This is when Yanzhou stops being a one street village & becomes the city of four & a half million that it is. By the time I've missed one number 32 bus & discover that the number 26 from Wenchang Ge to the station only stops at the east side of Wenchang Ge between 9am & 11am, in one of those random acts of timetable planning calculated to stuff up the plans of infrequent users of the system. I just make it to the station in time......

…..luckily some students, who speak passable English, apologetically, as do most Chinese, are sitting close by. When they discover my ticket is for Taizhou they inform me the train does not stop at Jiangyan. Two of them are getting off at Taizhou & have time before their next train to go with me to the bus station & get a ticket for Jiangyan. They sit me next to a man who doesn't speak English but is given instructions to make sure I get on the right bus. I manage a conversation of sorts with him & another traveller who joins in.....

…..as I finally arrive at Jiangyan my phone packs up. I guess it's out of credit though I can't understand the message. There is no sign of Miss Piggy or anyone else to meet me so, as I unsuccessfully try to ask the railway staff how to get to a China Mobile centre (I find out later it's “Zhongguo Yi Dong” - easy when you know it) a young fellow, a student with a smattering of English, takes over & we board a rickshaw trike to head for the nearest Zhongguo Yi Dong & buy more credit. Then I call for Miss Piggy to come & tell me where to go next. It has taken five hours by this time.....

…..Jiangyan, this “small city” turns out to have a population of around one million. It's part of a larger conurbation around Taizhou, which itself is home to about five million, in an area about 40% that of Sydney, so it's hard to tell where one ends & the next one starts. There appears to be the same amount of unbridled construction going on as everywhere else.....

…..I am guided around the centre by Miss Piggy. She sings the praises of Jiangyan & how much cheaper things are than in the bigger cities. I am taken to the stall of a friend of hers in the centre, near the main shopping mall, to try some noodles. “They are very dericious”..... Yes, they are.....

…..as I visit the family home, meet mum & dad (who are a bit subdued after the loss of grandpa the previous week but still very welcoming), meet some student colleagues before they finish their studies at 9pm, (having started at around 6.30am), & just walking around Jiangyan where many people appear to have NEVER seen a Waiguoren (“outside person”), I quickly adjust to my new role as a combination of new found uncle, honoured foreign guest & recently discovered species of animal with three heads.....

…..the house, in a back street in Jiangyan, is due for clearance, probably in a couple of years, when the family will move, probably to one of the new high rise blocks under construction. It's not what we'd call in the west “adequate” but there are ways around the difficulties. Miss Piggy's room has been converted to a guest room, with the application of streamers & pink (of course) balloons, while she & a friend convert the sofa in the living area between the parent's rooms into a bed. Feeling a bit guilty at all the effort on my behalf I offer to sleep on the sofa instead but they won't hear of it.....

…..”I take you to the bathroom”. “No thanks, I'm fine”. No, I show you”. The bathroom is the least adequate part of the house & not very inviting. Still, perhaps I should go along, in case there are any peculiarities in the operation of taps, cisterns.....

…..”You take clothes & soap”. “No, it's OK, I have wash later”, (it's easy to start speaking broken English yourself after a while). “No, we go to bathroom”. She is putting her boots on & getting the electric bike out. “Wo ting bu dong”, (I don't understand). Slowly I get the picture. The bathroom is not up to the job but there is a public bath not far away. “Er, maybe you can go & I'll wait here”. In the end I'm not sure why I agree to go. The fee of ¥3 (about Au60c) is paid & I am left in the care of a smiling old man who leads me into a hot room full of naked Chinese guys drying off from their ablutions on deck chairs. Too late to turn back? I consider it. My three headed animal role takes precedence as the first Waiguoren to enter the premises. There is now no choice but get my gear into the wooden locker provided, smile my honoured foreign guest's smile & be led into the confines of the bath room, where a dozen or more blokes are washing or just sitting & talking through the steamy air. …

…..”er, ni hao, wo zuo shenma?” (Er, hello, what do I do now?), in a less than confident voice. It's probably an understatement to say they are surprised to see a foreigner there. It's also a testament to the Chinese that after a while they are trying to make conversation & make me feel a little more comfortable & there IS another foreigner present. “Ta shi Ribenren”, they laugh, pointing at one of the bathers, (He is Japanese). Well, that doesn't really count for me. A couple of kids come in with their dad. I speak to them in a mixture of broken Chinese & English. Their dad is smiling. Well, it doesn't feel quite so uncomfortable now that I'm uncle again .....

…..I'm led into another room where I assume I just rinse off & then make my exit. There is a man on a massage table being scrubbed by another fellow whose job it is to make sure that everyone is perfectly clean & exfoliated before leaving. I rinse off & am about to make for the door. There are several others already in waiting. Of course now I am the honoured foreign guest & get to jump the queue.....

…..I am scrubbed back & front by what feels to be, in the steamy half light, a piece of coarse grade sandpaper. I am waiting for the undercoat to be sprayed on when I am led out & into the first room where the drying bathers, now used to this three headed curiosity, have turned their attention thankfully once more to the TV. I get dried, dressed, thank the old man, still smiling amiably, bid everyone, “Zai jian” (Again meet, not entirely sure that I mean it) & walk out feeling warm, clean & surprisingly unscarred except, I suspect, by the sandpaper.....

…..now in my role as uncle (Shushu) I meet Miss Piggy's colleagues as mentioned earlier, a little out of sequence. It is a surreal experience to meet a room full of students around 20 years old, in a very modern college, with technical & language skills every equal of their western counterparts, with internet connections, mobile phones & i-pods, who are utterly amazed to see a non-Chinese person walk through the door, some to the point of being temporarily speechless. Having lived & worked in Australia & other places with people from almost every area of the globe it seems very strange indeed. “I am so honoured to meet you” (in English). They almost always say that before anything else.....

…..Mama organises breakfast at a crowded breakfast cafe in the morning but she has to leave early to take the grandson to, I don't quite get the meaning, I think it's some sort of special class at school. At 8 o'clock on a Sunday morning! He's a lovely seven year old kid who is into everything but willing to listen, even to the uncle he can't understand half the time. Breakfast is a mixture of hot, spicy doufu dishes, plus the hot doufu milk & some jaozi, small steamed dumplings that are a little like ravioli but with fillings of spring onion & spices. Miss Piggy says this sort of breakfast keeps you warm during the day. It also makes my nose (& eyes) run.....

…..by the time I leave the people are not taking quite so much notice of the three headed creature, though they all turn to look as I leave. The maitre d'hotel smiles as I say, “Xie Xie” (Thanks) again as I leave. Chinese culture doesn't use “Thanks” or “Thank you” verbally quite as much as we do & I think they find it amusing when they put out a table setting or bring a clean bowl & get a “thanks” every time in a funny accent.....

…..I finally get the bag I came here to buy, at a small market where Fei Fei knows some of the traders & I finally get a huge backpack for the trip to Harbin & Beijing next week. It's not super rugged, mountaineering gear but it will do the job & as she gets the price down to ¥40 (about Au$8) I think it's a good deal. It's big enough, only just, to accommodate the increasing pile of things I am given to take back to Yangzhou, mandarins, milk tea, a large youzi, 2 bags of peanuts etc. I'm not even allowed to pay the ¥10 for the taxi to the bus station. Back to being honorary uncle I head back to Yangzhou....

…..Australia Day is coming up & coincides with Aussie Emily's birthday. She shows us the box of fireworks she has bought. It will be LOUD.....


Great photo, audio or video opportunities missed this week:

…..the intrepid trumpeter, who is not getting any better, practising alone almost every night regardless of the weather outside the construction site just over the bridge. He has so far aspired to a faultless imitation of a large marsh-bird being strangled to death.....

…..polystyrene, being incredibly light, is restricted as a load on a trike only by the ingenuity of the loader, as evidenced by one in Jiangyan, loaded to around 4 metres high & probably as wide. Not a windy day, Praise the Lord.....

…..two.....I'm not sure exactly what.....from my limited knowledge of animal anatomy I think they were lungs, pure white, soaking in a stainless steel dish on the pavement in Jiangyan.....

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