First love vs. Second Love

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They say, once you fall in love for the first time, you never forget it. Even when a second love comes around, it's not quite as pure as that initial one. They also say if you love something, you should let it go. If it's meant to be, it'll come back to you.

But if you love something so deeply, even if you let it go, it's impossible to completely release your heart from it. Even if the thing has long since disappeared into the distance, hidden in the setting sun, you can still feel it, just waiting for you to catch up to it.

So, this is me here in China, sitting down with my first and my second passions in life and wondering which one I should really dedicate myself towards. With the first, I lost confidence over such a long time, as well as patience and time. With the second, it's so new and a little fresh and yet, I still dream of the first. Both seem like such impossible dreams.

Anyway, I'm in China. I may have to accept it as it is now but when I go to Spain this summer, maybe things will turn upside down once again. Should that happen, well. And if it doesn't happen, also well. As things stand now, I must follow through on this year's resolutions so that, at the end of 2012 (literally, as my contract ends in December), I will have accomplished this year as fully as I dreamed. Let's do it! 加油！

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