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Published: February 28th 2011
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Gotcha day was yesterday. It is amazing how it has transformed the trip. It was almost surreal prior to yesterday. Now I am looking at a small wonder sleeping in a crib next to me and having a hard time remembering two days ago.
The day started early, as they often do. We all woke up at 4am wide-eyed with anticipation. Years of paperwork, waiting, more paperwork, more waiting, reading newsgroups, more waiting, fretting, more waiting...well you get the picture. All of that final reached the goal. It seems that this would be the culmination of the journey and yet the journey seemed to reset itself at a new beginning. Yet another leg in the Great Multi-Cathlon of life. But this leg started with more awe and joyful tears than any other leg.
Our group was split into two because some of the orphanages were close by and others, like mine, were in distance parts of the province. The first group traveled to an office to meet there children. I had the pleasure of going along to take pictures and help free the group of worry about catching key moments. the allowed me to step outside of the picture
and view the event through a window. It was beautiful to watch each child's unique reaction and each parent's way of showing their excitement and joy. It was a double-edged sword, though. Every child was happy and seemed to settle right in with their new family. I watched a young girl adopted form China a few years ago play with her new brother. I watched a dad feed Cheerios to his new son as though it was not the first time he had done so. I watch a mother blow bubbles with her new toddler. It was beautiful and melancholy, for I soon stood to the side rife with pangs for my own daughter. What if mine did not go so smooth? Was this event building expectations that might not be met? I shut those thoughts out and forced myself to step out of the window and back into the story. It did not matter what the day would bring, I was going to enjoy the moment with these families.
My moment finally can around 12:30am. There are not words to describe how I felt. The only one I can think of is "verklemmt". It is a German word
meaning "choked with emotions." It is like being so filled with emotions that none of them can come out. Kai Xin was brought through the door and I lost all ability to move. After a moment I remembered that I wanted to give her the stuffed sheep that my wife had bought for her. It had a recording of my wife's voice telling her that her Mommy loves her. I rushed back to my bag and got it out, then went over to her and took her in my arms for the first time.
She was clothed in 6 outfits due to the cold and rural part of the province in which she had lived. She looked like a beautiful, round, toasted marshmallow in her tan top layer. She looked at me with her deep, brooding eyes. She is fifteen months, but here eyes look like she is contemplating the pain and wonder of the word already. She was perfect. I was speechless. I was the only one in the room receiving a child, so the room was much quieter and the meeting was much more intimate. I walked her over to my bag and took out some Gerber puffs (shameless corporate plug...) and offered some to her. She seemed content in my arms. We transitioned from the corridor into my room to finish the paperwork. Then, in short order, the room was empty. It was just me and her.
The rest of the time seemed to go by in a blur. I offered here a bottle with limited success. I slowly feed her the puffs of the course of a few hours and Skyped with her Mother so she could be part of the moment. She took a short nap while I signed the final adoption documentation (all that remains is many more days of paperwork). Then we went to dinner and shared some beef noodles. She finished her bottle, warmed in the ice bucket with boiling water, and fell asleep at 20:00. It is 06:30 right now and she is still asleep. It was a big day for both of us.
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Scott B.
non-member comment
Congratulations
Scott -- I've been reading the blog and I'm so excited for you. Congratulations and best of luck with the rest of your trip and your return!