His English name is Peter!

I stayed up late Thursday night putting all of the finishing touches on my PPT (remember…when reading it you have to say it really fast with emphasis on the first P) only to show up on Friday and realize that I my talk was not until 3:30 that afternoon and that I would have that entire morning to work on it. That is always the way it goes though…right. I also finished editing the paper that Dr. Pan had given me and “Load the Ark Noah…the FLOOD has arrived!!!” Not more than 20 minutes after giving Dr. Pan the edited manuscript I had 2 more people coming to me wanting their manuscripts edited, one of which had already been submitted and rejected due to the fact that “it did not hold up to the journals standards for English writing.” So, I am back on the editing train…could be worse I guess. Anyway, so this is also the day that Dr. Pan has decided to escort me to the cafeteria to make sure that I find something to eat (I am assuming that he has been told that the American girl is not eating anything and is sure to die on their watch if something drastic is not done) and just as 12:30 rolls around and I actually think that he has forgotten about doing this…here he comes, with his graduate student posy behind him as reinforcement. Great, this is going to be a highlight for the blog is all I kept thinking. You have not experienced stress and pure panic until you are sitting in front of 5 Chinese students and 1 Chinese professor with a metal tray full of organic material that they call food sitting below your spoon with all eyes on you. This is not the first time that my food intake has been monitored on this trip, but this is the first time that I have been a one man show. In the past, I have shared the spot light with many other fresh faced westerners, but this time it is just me. I alone. I managed a few moments earlier to snag a Sprite so I figure that the carbonation from the Sprite will surely squash whatever taste I am about to bombard my taste buds with and I jump in. Keep in mind that this is nothing exotic, not compared to the lavish meals that were being served in the first week, no duck tongue here, but these are still Chinese flavors….flavors that I do not enjoy (to put it mildly). I asked for broccoli and ended up with like 3 florets of broccoli and a lot of other stuff that I did NOT ask for and here I go. It is not vomit worthy, but I was not lying when I said that I was not feeling well and truthfully, in the States I would not have even had lunch, so, I did my best and managed to escape with very little lasting effects. One more meal down and that much closer to Hong Kong where I will surely be able to get some good food. I should mention that the walk between the cafeteria and the lab is usually very pleasant. I think that it might be the only time that the students allow themselves to relax and talk about things other than work, so I usually enjoy this part of the day. And, this day was no different. Dr. Pan asked me questions about my husband and other personal questions like how my room was and if I was homesick..you know the real “let me get to know you” type questions (I am being sarcastic here in case it did not translate). It is the culture I think. I asked Hua the other day if her parents were proud that she is a scientist and she said that she had never asked them. This is sad, but she did not seem too upset by it so I decided not to be either. On another occasion I asked Dr. Pan and Mrs. Pan what they do on the weekends and she responded that Dr. Pan works. I said “you work on Saturday and Sunday?” and they responded…”oh yes!” The reputation that the Chinese have for their work ethic is well deserved. Hua was so happy that she got ALL Sunday afternoon off this past weekend and when I asked what she did with all that free time she got tickled and said that she spent it sleeping. I do not mean to belabor the point but GOOD GOD!!!!! How do they keep their sanity? No wonder they thought it crazy that I was working on my PhD AND married. They don’t even have time to do laundry let alone develop and maintain a relationship.

Anyway, that afternoon was my PPT, but not before a few students presented papers to the rest of the lab…in Chinese of course! I was given 2 papers in English to read before the meeting and I was prepared with a few comments in case I was given the opportunity to express my opinion about each paper. I have to come across as having some American perspective…right? So, I sit through the first paper…each slide was in Chinese characters and I cannot be sure but I would place money on the fact that they were actually reading exactly what was on each slide and nothing more, then Dr. Pan gets up and goes through the paper AGAIN pointing out what I imagine he thinks are the high points. This took about 45 minutes for the first paper. Then paper 2 begins..except this is not the paper that I have read…I can tell by the figures that they are putting up on the screen. It does not dawn on me for another hour or so that this is not going to end any time soon. Turns out that they were presenting 4 papers this day with my PPT at the very end….each reading every slide written exclusively in Chinese characters and ending with Dr. Pan representing the paper to the group. This started at 3pm and when it was finally my turn at 5:45 I decided to leave out the slides about my life and about Purdue and stick to the science. I presented for about 30 minutes and then answered questions. Just before I got up to speak, Mrs. Wong leans over and whispers “please talk slowly” and coming from her, I took this very seriously! It felt like I was talking to deaf people that were just learning how to read lips or something. It was painful to remember the whole time to keep it slow and to use words that were simple and common. Kind of like teaching 8th graders but far less fun since I was not able to jump around and make jokes to keep their attention (my specialty while teaching middle school). Dr. Pan asked a few questions focusing on the double copy aspect of my research, and then we were done.

Dr. Pan and Mrs. Wong took me out to dinner on this night. To a “western” style restaurant with their son. I, to this day, am not sure what his name is but this I caught loud and clear….. his English name is Peter! I said…”your English name is Peter?” And he nods “yep” and I said “so your English name is Peter Pan?” I start laughing (which I realize now might have been a bit inappropriate) but give me a break….Peter Pan! Not really knowing why I am laughing…everyone at the table starts laughing too…straight out of a movie scene….and finally I compose myself long enough to ask, “who gave you this English name?” and they replied, his English teacher. “Oh I see I said, she has a sense of humor.” I still don’t think that they know why Peter Pan is so funny to me nor do I want them to, but it broke the awkwardness of the moment and allowed everyone to relax (at least in my version of the story.) It was a French restaurant with some pasta dishes and pizza on the menu and I elected to play it safe and order the #42. Pizza with garlic, onion, and feta cheese. How can this be bad? Well, what came out was a pizza…that was about the only thing that resembled what I ordered…it was covered in peppers mushrooms olives onions and who knows what else. I felt awful, I even said…this is not what I ordered to the waitress…who goes to get the owner…who comes over…they speak in Chinese for a second then he leaves and the waitress returns to say…”you ordered #42…that is a #42. And that was the end of that. They tried to bring me mashed potatoes which I refused..I had wasted enough food for a lifetime and wanted to minimize the damage. I told them that I was not feeling well (which was not a lie) and said that I would eat the pizza in my hotel room when I was feeling better. They clearly did not buy it because after it was boxed up they took it home with them. They drove me around the city a little then took me back to my room...I have a big day tomorrow. HONG KONG!!!

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