Demommunism

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So the following is what happens when you try to combine Democracy with Communism. First of all you end up with relationships like the one I and Camillo have. Second of all you end up with an absolute mess. In actuality combining these two is an art. An art that I am doing my best to manage but always throws me curveballs. Camillo and I have to go to Shenyang on the 18th of April to go through the Visa Application process. I suppose I don't really HAVE to go but I'm sure I'll be of some use (as I have been already). We started the application process last Thursday when we went to buy a phone card (that you have to buy to start the Visa process for whatever reason). Then Friday Camillo and I made a phone call which we couldn't figure out how to do the English portion of it so he made a call with Hui. The two of them figured out the process that included a lot of things that we would have to do in Dalian - going to different places, etc. Then later on Friday I called and the woman on the other end of the line was like "Okay, April 12, 15 or May 10th and where would you like to make your appointment?" I was like "Um, oh crap, not ready for this yet, hang on a second." Unfortunately Friday night was when I lost my ATM card - and with it the phone card for the Embassy. So I went to buy another one yesterday and this morning I went over to the Salon to make the call with Camillo at "breakfast" (which was around 10:30am). During this phone conversation I set up a time and date for us to go through the application process and the lady told me that Camillo would have to do an English test along with the application process. That was the first mistake I made, I should have had breakfast with Camillo and then asked him for his passport and gone to make the phone call by myself and not told him about the English test. After breakfast I asked the boys to do my hair - they were just going to blow dry it because I had class at 12:30 but then the "maid" (we call her a'i) called me to tell me Angel and Silence had tests today so they wouldn't be able to have class. I asked Camillo to come back and cut my hair instead of blow drying it. There was another customer there waiting for Camillo so I (acting on what had happened before) knew that the other customer came before I did. While I was waiting I called the Embassy again to ask about the English test and what other forms we would need and how much money it would cost. She told me there was no English test just some forms to fill out in English and he would need to bring his passport, work contract, 810 kuai, a photo, a bank account number saying he owned enough money to go to America and possibly an invitation letter from the hairdressing school (which we know we can't get). Now for mistake number two - when Camillo came over to cut my hair I began telling him all about this stuff. He didn't really respond which was frustrating me because I wanted to get some of the papers printed so we could start the process as April 18th is pretty soon. He told me to call Hui and tell her what I wanted and he would tell her too. This frustrated me even more because I know perfectly well that Camillo could understand me and we didn't need Hui. Camillo told me to not talk to him about these things while he cut my hair, so I stopped. When he was finished cutting I made the phone call and Hui told Camillo what I wanted. When I talked to Hui again she told me to stop pestering Camillo about the money. At first I was a little confused. How was I pestering Camillo about the money? I hadn't even said anything about the money, I just wanted him to help me print out the forms so I could go through them with him. Then he got really testy with me and told me that he was cutting someone else's hair. I finally understood - I was pestering him. Hui was right. I was trying to get him to think about something else when he was trying to focus on work. It clicked. I shouldn't have included him in the process of calling the Embassy because the whole process was flustering him and he didn't need to be flustered when he was trying to do work. From the first mistake on it was all wrong. I should have done the Chinese thing and kept my mouth shut until I knew everything that we needed to do and then told him - after work. I suppose this is partly the fault of trying to make democracy and communism work together but it's also the fault of culture clashes. There was no way I was to know what was the right thing to do with Camillo but afterwards it really hit me what I did wrong. At this point Camillo and I went out to lunch (around 2pm) and Cat came over for my support. I told her what had happened and she suggested that she help me. I told Camillo I thought it was best for me to keep him out of it from then on and while he disagreed with me I knew it was the right decision. I'm going to go over some stuff with him but it'll be at night after he's off work.

The best way to learn is to make mistakes. Now if Camillo and I can make it this whole process of getting him to the US and probably living together there then we can make it through anything. It's strange comparing him to Stone now. I thought Stone and I really made a good couple but Stone has ignored me for two weeks almost straight now - haven't seen him or talked to him on the phone except for one day. I told that to Hui and she said that it was very typical for a Chinese man. I told her if Camillo had done that to me I would be absolutely furious and would have gone over there for him to explain himself to me a long time ago. She asked me if I still liked Camillo and I told her of course I did but that it was best how it was now and didn't really matter if I liked him or not. She said that that was the difference between Stone and Camillo - Camillo and I were friends before I liked him and afterwards it didn't matter if I liked him or not because we were still friends. Stone and I were never really friends, we liked each other from the start. I'm a little confused about why this matters as I'm still good friends with some of my exes who I was friends with before we were together and other exes who I wasn't friends with first. But apparently it's a Chinese thing.

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