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We've finally arrived in Beijing after a Trans-Siberian train journey spanning 5,936 miles, fifteen distinct ecosystems, eight nights, four segments, three countries and two excruciating customs/visa checkpoints. Although we missed the fireworks in the states, we did spend the 4th of July with an American family that has been visiting Mongolia for the past three weeks. We can't fault their choice of location. Mongolia is a ger-and place to visit, but we'll get to that later....
Trans-Siberian Observations The Trans-Siberian began in Moscow as a super-comfortable, air-conditioned high-speed train ride featuring beautiful scenery, low-sodium snacks and ample toilet paper. Although each of these qualities changed dramatically as we approached Beijing, our cabin companions remained vibrant and entertaining throughout the trip.
Basically, our second class berths entitled us to beds in a four-person cabin, so we met two new guests on each segment of the journey. This included several boisterous Russians, a certifiably-insane babushka, mongolian and chinese families, and a humble Russian student -- all of whom spoke better English than we could speak in their native language. Stories abound, but the crazy lady was by far the most entertaining. At first, she was assigned to a different carriage,
UNO Championships
The Dutch always win! but instead of sleeping she paced outside our door all night, complaining to the wagon attendants that her bed was haunted. The next day, she insisted on switching into our cabin and the staff was happy to accommodate her request in the hopes that it would keep her quiet. Once she moved in, she confided in us that she had requested our cabin because I (Del) had such "beautiful red hair." Of course, that didn't sound like the ramblings of a crazy lady to me... but rest assured she was positively whacko.
Over the next several days, she spun myriad stories of dubious veracity. Our favorite was her fool-proof method for not being eaten by bears. The story goes that the bears around Lake Baikal are humble creatures that live high in the trees eating berries. But they are very secretive. If they discover that someone has seen them, they have no choice but to leap down from the tree canopy and devour the offender whole. Thus, to prevent bear attacks, we were warned to always keep our eyes on the ground and to keep a hand on our forehead to ensure that a bear would not think that
Riding a Different Set of Rails
The entire train is lifted and wheels replaced at Chinese border. we had mistakenly made eye contact. Smiling, we thanked her for the sage advice.
In addition to our wagon mates, we also met a number of other travellers from far away lands, one of whom brought a deck of UNO cards. Sweet! Who would have thought that UNO is by far the best card game ever for people who don't necessarily speak a common language? After about 80 games, the final Trans-Siberian UNO World Cup ranking was Holland, England, USA and Russia. Those Dutch players sure know their UNO.
As for the worst parts of the journey -- let's just say that border crossings on the train can be excruciating! The Russia-Mongolia border lasted about eight hours, during which time the train was stopped and the bathrooms were locked (since the toilet opens directly onto the tracks below). To put it lightly, eight hours can seem like a really-really long ordeal after two liters of Diet Coke and six cups of tea. We were a bit more prepared for the Mongolia/China crossing, but fortunately the Chinese were kind enough to provide us with a short break while the entire train was lifted onto a new set of wheels
Reaching the Summit
We happened across the Dutch UNO champions again on our Baikal hike. to fit China's smaller train tracks. Better, but still a bit unpleasant.
Irkutsk & Lake Baikal Lake Baikal is the largest freshwater lake in the world. At nearly 2km in depth, it holds over a fifth of the world's fresh water. We took a couple of days to hike around the lake and stretch our legs after the long train ride and we're pleased to report that the crazy lady was either wrong, or else our sun visors fooled the bears. No berry-grubbing bears got the drop on us! However, the horseflies (most of which were as big as bears), were a completely different matter. Let's just say that the vermin scale for Baikal is entirely due to the nasty, biting Baikal horseflies. Lucky for you, this particular species is not found anywhere else in the world. As for the lake, the water was too cold to swim (~6-8C year-round), but the views were spectacular and we managed to out-run the rolling thunder all the way back to the car. It began to pour as we were driving away. Success!
Ger Camp in Outer Mongolia During the reign of Chingiss (Genghis) Khan in
the 13th century, the Mongolian Empire spanned most of Eurasia. Today, about 90%!o(MISSING)f the people who reside in the rural areas of (a much-smaller) Mongolia still live in much the same way that they did then -- as semi-nomadic herdsmen, raising livestock and living in traditional ger huts (ie. felt huts, also known as yurts). We had the tremendous pleasure of staying in a ger for one night and (for one night anyway), it was truly gerrrrr-eat!
In the spirit of the occasion, we came up with a few choice ger-themed jokes to edutain you about the details of the Mongolian nomadic lifestyle. Enjoy! There's more where these came from, if you're interested!
1) How does a Mongolian farmer ensure that his yaks do not migrate to another herd? a: He trains them to geraze on gerass in a geroup.
2) What might make a home in your belly if you drink the water in Mongolia? a: Gerardia
3) What does a proper Mongolian nomad do with his garbage? a: He buries it undergeround.
4) Where do Mongolian families move when they want to raise a family? a:
Yaks & Gers!
These aren't the only ones. They're everywhere! the subgerbs
5) What magazine to upper-brow Mongolian housewives wait for every month? a: 'Better Homes & Gerdens'
(Actually, they read 'Ger Magazine' - we saw it!) 6) What is the preferred yuletide beverage of discerning Mongolians? a: Gerog
(made with fermented mares milk - delicious!) 7) What is a Mongolian's favorite automobile? a: the Hummger SUV (Steppe Utility Vehicle)
Actually, there were a surprising number of SUVs in Ulaanbaatar and on the steppe. Quite in contrast to anywhere in Russia. 8) What composer do Mongolians find the most entgertaining? a: George Gershwin
Post-Soviet Quality of Life Has life improved since the fall of the USSR? We asked this of nearly a dozen lifelong Russians and the best answer came from our guide around Lake Baikal. He said that for every improvement over the past fifteen years, something else has gotten worse. For the younger generation, the goods tend to outweigh the bads. However, times are tough for retirees -- many of whom have never owned a home or car and are now forced to live on a 3,000 ruble ($111) government subsidy each month. Needless to
Horseback Riding
Took a ride on the wild side with a real ger-dwelling nomad. Sweet! say, this doesn't go far. On the other hand, most young people now carry cell phones with customized Axel F ringtones and many drive their own cars. In Moscow, it seems that the majority of the women even have money leftover for $300 jeans. Of course, Muscovites have always been favored in Russia, but nowadays the difference is even starker, as private investment has favored the capital dramatically. Many former industrial centers in the hinterlands actually get less money now than they did during Soviet times. Fortunately, the lines for bread and bacon are shorter or non-existent now throughout the country. To be sure, Russia is still in transition. Perhaps if we return in another 15 years, the winner (Soviet/capitalism) will be less ambiguous for everyone.
Fashion Rules for Russian Women*
1) The shorter the better!
2) Patterned tops should match patterned bottoms. Identically.
3) Pantyhose & open-toed shoes? No problem!
4) There is no need to know what the slogan between your breasts actually means in English.
5) There is no direct Russian translation for 'tacky'.
6) Age-appropriate dress not applicable.
7) Undergarments should be visible through all blouses, dresses, etc. This is part of the
outfit, and it should be flaunted!
8) If in doubt about an outfit, refer to #1.
* All of these observations were noted solely by Stephanie. Del's eyes never strayed below the neckline the entire time we were in Russia. That's also why there's no pictures to go along with these maxims. As far as Del is concerned, the Russian ladies might as well continue doing whatever works best for them... 
Trans-Siberian Trains
Cost: $1.2 / beer (35 rubles) 
Arts & Entertainment: 0.2x San Francisco 
Vermin: Russia: 1.4x; China: 2.3x San Francisco 
English Proficiency: ~70%!<(MISSING)/i>
Technology: 1 iPod
Irkutsk
Cost: $1.5 / beer (40 rubles)
Arts & Entertainment: 0.4x San Francisco
Vermin: 2.0x San Francisco
English Proficiency: ~40%!<(MISSING)/i>
Technology: 1 iPod
Mongolia / Ulaanbaatar
Cost: $2 / beer (2,000 tugrik)
Arts & Entertainment: 0.3x San Francisco
Vermin: 1.7x San Francisco
English Proficiency: ~25%!<(MISSING)/i>
Technology: 0 iPods
Descriptions of each metric available at:
http://www.stephandel.com/travelog.htm
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Phillip Parker
non-member comment
Shorter the Better..............
Love to shot the good looking women who love to become a top model... Phill, again thanks for keeping me in the loop with your world travels, one day when I become rich like you I'll take me a trip around the world in 80 days too...