MISHAPS ON THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA AND A LONG JOURNEY HOME

From my last entry I reckon it was pretty clear I was quite bushed from my day in Beijing and on the whole it was unlikely there would be many things I'd be willing to get out of bed for the next day.

Unfortunately however The Great Wall of China was on that list, we were setting off at 6am, so had to make the effort to drag myself down to the bus that morning.

There was talk of a picnic so had stopped off the night before at a local conveniance store to buy provisions but found it not that conveniant at all. In my tiredness, (I'm never at my best when lacking sleep), I became quite frustrated that the shop sold bread but not butter, (scotching my hopes for Marmite sandwiches... was carrying a jar of Marmite on me), and when I thought I'd bought myself a carton of milk, (been really missing milk), I got it back to my room only to find myself with a mouthfull of yoghurt!

(Why would they do that)?

So eventually I set out on Sunday with little more than a flask of chicken cuppa soup, (been carrying packets from home), some water and a few chocolate bars.

(Though later when we ate both Colin and Lisa shared their cheese rolls with me).

It was a 3 hour drive out to our wall site at Simatai which is less touristie than other parts of the wall but has some impressive views.

It's a 10.5 Km hike from Long Yu pass in the west to Yangjing building in the East and consists of 5 barriers, 67 watch towers, and 2 beacon towers and is well known for its broad views, intensive watch towers, and spectacular scenary.

By the time we got there I was more awake and prepared for our hike, which as it turned out would be a hard one.

Every picture I've ever seen of the Great Wall has always been one where its being visited by the Queen or an American President, or Alan Whicker and it always looked not overly challenging.

Sort of large walk on wall, with steps and walkways, so the talk I'd heard of us hiking it didn't sound that difficult a task.

Turns out it's more involved than you'd realise.

Firstly the wall makes no concessions to landscape, if it has to go up the side of a mountain then there it goes, (which I kind of knew), what I was'nt taking into account was that though it's in a fantastic preserved state, (don't be thinking Hadrians little effort here), it aint all easy steps and unhindered walking, sometimes it's more akin to scrambling up the side of Helvellyn than it is a gentle wander along one of the greatest Heritage sites in the world.

That was of course fine, (it aint like I haven't done that sort of thing at home... and as our group spread out kept myself quite near the front of the pack), but I did start to regret leaving my boots behind in Longsheng, as they'd have been far more appropriate for the type of scrambling and climbing I was having to do rather than the trainers I had on.

What also was proving to be a pain were the local Mongolian porters/hawkers who, as you panted and wheezed and generally exhurted your way across, strolled effortlessly beside you constantly saying things like...

'Hello!'

or

'Mind your step!'

or

'You buy Ice cold water'

or

'Buy book? .... Maybe later!'

I found myself wondering about those do gooder types that we cover at work who walk the wall for charity?

How frustrating must it be if they've trained for months only to be followed for the entirty of the wall by a little old bloke trying to sell them postcards?

I in the past have been very tolerant of these folk, (in fact had been noted for it on this trip), but my tiredness from the night before combined with my physical endurance requirements of the day left me on a short fuse.

Started with sarcasm, telling one porter...

'If you ever come to the lake district you must tell me... I would like to spoil the experience for you as much as you are ruining this one for me!'

Was a bit wasted, she smiled at me and said... 'You buy book!'

Eventually I lost all patience and on one stretch, clambering down a particular precarious section where you had to foccus hard, I showed my angry face to a bloke who kept trying to grab my arm and guide me down.

(Apparently my vocal demands for him to go away and leave me alone... or words to that effect... were clearly audible 2 watchtowers away).

It did the trick mind you, he went away, and actually I think looked like he might cry, which I felt a little awkward about, and eventually, (if you believe in stuff like Karma... which I have a partial incling towards), did somewhat do for me!

We stopped in a watchtower half way for food and a group photo session and then as we moved off again I had a bit of a disaster.

We were manouvering down a gravely bit that slightly bypassed the wall for a moment when my text alert beeped on my mobile phone.

Unable to resist the urge of texting back... 'CANT TALK, CURRENTLY ON GREAT WALL OF CHINA', I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone and in that moment of mixed attention the ground slid out from beneath me and I slipped down the bank, my left leg twisting up beneath me going to places on my body I wasn't aware it could reach, (in fact places I thought only achievable by the acrobats I'd watched the night before)!

I am so cross at myself about this!

Only got myself to blame!

Thats what you get for trying to text on the great wall, dumping the boots that have never let you down, and being unnecessarily rude to indigneos populations.

I crashed down the side of the wall and was struck by a sharp pain in my knee, for a moment panicked into thinking I might have broken my leg.

As it was, as I sorted myself out, I realised I could stand on it, (though somewhat gingerley), but I'd twisted my knee badly and was limping a lot.

Also had a massive lump of shrubbery stuck in my arm that took some major tugging by B2 with tweezers to pull out.

So there I was, half way along our hike over the Great Wall of China and I'd buggered my leg.

Thankfully I could still hobble on it, and given that there probably isn't anything local like Great Wall Rescue had little option but to carry on the walk in a fair degree of pain, limping along way way way at the back with B2 keeping an eye on me.

In my defence I was very stoic!

Never grumbled, (accept for admonishing myself), kept my upper lip stiff and determinedly wobbled my way along the wall in the heat of the midday sun with what I'd like to think of heroic stature.

(It's my journal and I'll spin this in whatever way I like)!

I did however get a lot of praise from B2 who commented more than once...

'Hey man, you doing really well like, I am very impressed!'

I commented that short of taking permanent residence up on the wall I had very little option, but he responded by saying this wasnt the first time he'd been in situations like this with people he'd been guiding, and that most of them, (many a lot younger than me), had not handled it as well.

Of course he may have just been yanking my chain, (and if he was then it helped), but I reckon it is true that if you have any advantage in being a bit older than most on a trip like this it's got to be that you've been around long enough to learn that sometimes when your screwed you have little option but to keep on going cos you've only got yourself to sort the mess your in.

Of course it meant for the second half of the walk I tended to quite often forget that I was on the Great Wall of China, or appreciate the scenery, but occasionally I'd realise, and when I did I'd stop for a moment, give it a look, and console myself that...

A. This was the last, not first, day of my Holiday.
B. Sometime, (maybe not then), but in the future, this would make a great little funny annecdote!

When we finally got back to the bus where the others had had the benefit of an extended meal and drinks in the sun, (which they all seemed to enjoy so hopefully I wasnt too much of a hindrence), I got a lot of sympathy, a few well intentioned jibes, and a little round of applause when I pulled myself into the bus.

The Journey back to Beijing through the heavy traffic was immensly long and I suddenly got a real feel for how huge the city was.

We had dinner that night in a restaurant next to the hotel which proved a bit of a disaster in that the staff were just not prepared to know how to deal with us.

There were communication problems, mixed orders, failed orders, and confusion over payment, which at the time, (still hopping around like an invalid), I had to fight hard to see the funny side of, (especially when the lemon Chicken I ordered suddenly no longer existed on the menu and what I ordered instead never turned up either so I ended up eating half of Bobbys).

It has to be said I've discovered whilst here the Chinese are very good at telling you 'Yes' when they mean... 'No', 'I don't understand', 'I'm not sure if that's possible' etc which can leave you thinking something is in hand when in fact it's not.

In fairness though what we were asking for was way out of synch with what the staff were use to. In China you don't come into a restuarant as a group order individual different meals and then try and pay seperately at the end, it's fairly unheard of, and also at the end of the day WE were the ones in THEIR country trying to make them understand via OUR language.

That said, I suspect Beijing has a lot to learn about our funny little western ways before the Olympics in 2008, or I can see a lot of pandemonium ensuing in Hotels and restaurants with the assurity of the vast influx of visitors.

Bobby had suggested going out for a few drinks around Tianaman square with Richard and Stu that night and I was very torn about it.

Part of me really wanted to go and another part of me, (the more sensible part), was just arguing lots of reasons why I shouldnt.

I had an early flight the next day, walking was not as easy as it normally is, and I was a bit strapped for cash.

Annoyingly trying to get travellers cheques changed anywhere other than the Bank of China is not easy. Few hotels do it, (ours didn't), and being a Sunday even if I hadn't been wobbling along the wall I'd have been unstuck.

Added to which ATM's weren't paying up either. A sure sign that my current account was drained, my wages were'nt due into it again till the next morning and as such, (just in case the transfer time was complicated), I only was carrying enough to give me a safety net should my taxi fare to the airport prove more costly than anticipated the next day.

(Had even had to tip B2 in pounds sterling, but a bloke in his walk of life has plenty of oportunities to get it changed I'm hoping).

So in truth I think I subconsciously deliberately took myself off out the way, to avoid making the choice, (having paid my bit of the restaurant bill and then quitely sloped off whilst other arguments over who had what were still ensuing).

Yet conversly, when I finally came into the hotel lobby, encountered the others and was told the boys had been trying to find me but now had gone out without me felt a tad dissapointed.

(Bit like that old public information film where Charlie the cat and his mate have to ask Mummy if they can go out with their friends for a picnic and when they finally get her permission discover everyone has already gone)!

Though therefore never getting to say goodbye I did leave Richard and Stu behind my map of Beijing and one of my guide books for them as a sort of 'see ya, have a good few more days in Beijing' kind of thing.

I sat in the lobby with the remaining group instead and chatted to Liza for a while.

She and Bobby fly home Thursday, though Bobby has a scheme to maybe stay behind and work in Beijing?

(Got the impression however from Liza that her brother would eventually yeild to the logic of instead flying home... just so long as he was left to make the choice himself).

The gap girls are next off to Thailand in their world travels, Scott and Tanya set off on Tuesday for the Trans Siberian eventually reaching the UK and looking for work at the start of June, whilst Colin and Rachel are moving on to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji and Los Angeles, before home (which was pretty much my route back in 2000).

Was I envious? Not really, (though trans siberian is on my list).

I'd had a great time with lots of adventures but ever since I'd taken a large swig of that supposed bottle of milk and gotten instead a gob full of yoghurt something inside me said I was ready for home and a bit of familiarity.

China though much more developed than India has in many ways proved a harder journey, and I think that's directly because so much of it feels westernised when lots of other bits of it just aint.

In India you made allowances, you knew where you were and what to expect but in China the goalposts keep changing.

Sometimes your in the middle of a big thriving advanced modern city which you assume is as easy to negotiate as your own cities at home but then you hit a language barrier that never existed as extremely in India, cultural differences from both sides that can be darn right baffling to all those involved and over time it starts to wear on you a bit, especially now that I was somewhat injured.

So my feelings were very much I've done what I came to do, seen what I came to see, and that, (though no doubt I've only scratched the surface in my short time), China as far as I was concerned was ticked off the list and it was time to go home, pay off whatever this holiday has cost me, (cos there is always something you hadnt budgeted for), and start pondering where next in the world to head.

(Puru is a definite possibility next time I reckon)?

Got up 5am the next day to discover much as I'd feared that a nights sleep had left my knee very vulnerable and I spent a good 15 minutes slowly adjusting and painfully limping around my room until it was use to having my weight back on it again.

My failure to go out the night before proved to be the right call in that the taxi driver somewhat walled me on my fare, (and I couldnt get an ATM to work until well inside the airport), but I had little inclination to argue, and once paid, grabbed a trolley and used it like a zimmer frame as I hobbled my way through Beijing airport, got my luggage booked on, went through the rigmarole of getting out the country and dragged myself onto my 10.30am flight.

Got to say the flight between Beijing and Frankfurt was surprisingly good, (had been dreading it).

I thought ahead and got myself an aisle seat and I was on the right side of the plane therefore to keep my leg out in the aisle for lots of the flight.

I also made a point of standing up and walking around every hour or so.

Lufthansa are very good on offering drinks, and I got one good film and one ok film.

I also was sitting next to a young Chinese girl who is studying of all things Hotel Management in Dublin who spoke excellent English and was very usefull from the point of view of reballencing my perspective on China.

She was greatly amused by my failure to get Lemon Chicken in the restaurant the night before, (turns out Lemon Chicken to the Chinese is like Chicken Korma to the Indians... strickly invented for the UK market), and looked at me bemused when I told her about eating scorpians.

'That's horrible... why would you do that, and who would sell it to you?'

On discovering I came from just below Scotland she was eagre to discover whether I wore a skirt at home, so spent some time telling her NO, and explaining why she should take a trip to Edinburgh during fesitval time and that IT'S CALLED A KILT!

I landed fresh and awake in Frankfurt, a little more dwindled by the time I reached Manchester, and absolutely wrecked on my train journey home via Manchester Picadilly and Lancaster, being met in Carlisle at 10pm, (exactly 24 hours after I'd woken up the same Monday morning in a different time zone).

(Had serious fears I'd fall asleep and end up in Glasgow at one point).

So that's me, currently lying in bed at home finishing this off before sorting out my stuff, paying some bills, and preparing myself for work tomorrow.

All in all a great trip, but nice to be back in familer surroundings.

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