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Published: October 28th 2007
AKA SCAMbodia!!
Having successfully managed to get ourselves (Craig and I) to the Northern Bus Terminal, locate the correct bus out of the 70 or 80 buses waiting and purchase the 207 Baht ticket (3 quid), we were now on our way to the Thailand/Cambodia border crossing. Easy. The rest would be a breeze. Wouldn't it?
Wrong! Aware of the potential scams lining themselves up for us at the border, according to my new bible the Cambodia/Vietnam/Laos Lonely Planet Guide (Sept 2007 edition no less!!), we were prepared for the touts, scammers, hawkers and of course the officials (the worst of them all!). We walked straight past all the touts trying to sell Visa's for Cambodia at 3 times the price they actually cost. Pretending to be Russian was a good trick here, start saying things like ''vodski Greg rusedski skipperapuss'' (which means absolutely nothing as blatantly it's not Russian - Greg Rusedski - Think Tennis!) and you are greeted with the most perplexed of looks and left well and truly alone!! Job done.
Wrong! Safely through passport control at the border, you kind of think that you are through the worst. Ha ha! Greeted by
a guy in a Cambodia Tourist Authority shirt. we were directed to an official customs border control Visa desk. Here we were told the $20 Visa Fee sign was 5 years out of date and they no longer accepted US Dollars, just 1000 Baht (approx $30-32). We paid up. Well after all we had gone through the passport bit so all well and good. After about 10 minutes we had our passports back, complete with our Cambodia Visa's, proudly displaying their $20 fee stamp. Bas***ds! Con 1 - Despite our best efforts they won that one, hands down. 1 nil to them!! Bear in mind here, the average salary for Cambodia is $25-35 per MONTH. They had just had $50 out of 4 of us in 10 minutes. I say again, bas***ds. Never mind, strop over, it was only another few quid and now we were wise. Weren't we?
All we had to do now was queue to get the visa stamped. We knew that if we were charged a stamping fee (literally to stamp the word 'used' on your visa) then this was just the customs officer enlarging his kids college fund and not a real fee. We
were told to avoid the queue, slip a few hundred Baht in your passport and pass it to a random policeman or official. The cash goes straight in their back pocket and through you go. We opted to queue rather than throw more money away to corrupt officials, I mean there was only about 40 people ahead of us, how long could that take? I can tell you actually. 2 hours! But I had saved myself a few quid. Score now 1 all? (Ignore the lost 2 hours of my life though!).
As per the guide book, we were taken onto the free shuttle bus to the bus station, ready for our 4 hour journey to Siam Reap in Cambodia, the location of one of the wonders of the world - Angkor Wat. Reading Scam 2 from the book - Currency Exchange- it told me that you may get told you need to get the local curency, Riel, to be able to book the bus, and that conveniently they know where you can get your money changed, albeit at 30-40% lower rates than the banks. You don't need Riel, US dollars are the unofficial currency. At that point the
guide (same guy from the Tourist Office that we know trusted as much as your average compulsive liar) said we must stop now to change our money into Rial at the 'special rate' of 3000 Riel to the Dollar. Bargain seeing as the banks give you 4100!!! Con 2 - Detected. Politely (in Russian of course) we declined. Score 2-1 to us.
We arrived at the bus terminal that was as much like a bus terminal as Woolworths is. ''Sorry - no buses now, you must take taxi''. Got ya. Con 3 - The no buses, use my mate instead in his highly road worthy vehicle scam. At this point Craig had reached the point of no return. 'Scammed out' I think they call it, he told them where they could shove their taxi's. Even I blushed... Backpacks on, we were off to find the real bus terminal. 3-1 to us. Ish. Not for long!
OMG For the non text message abbrievation generation - Oh My God!!! Hereth the funneth doth beggineth!
Now in the middle of what I could only desribe as the Ghetto, you have 4 white, European males (2 guys we met on the
bus, the only other westerners on a packed bus!) that may just as well have had a neon sign shouting ""ROB US"" over our heads. The roads were dirt tracks, full of dust from the hundreds of mopeds flying about. Everyone literally stared at us and wore bandanas over their faces. Many in cars, tried to get us to get in, so they could take us to where it was we wanted to go. If that had been into a dark alley and shot, we would most likely have jumped in and said 'lets go'!! We didn't. Persevering and now sweating profusely we carried on through badland until we found a bus station. No buses! Getting dark. Bu**er. 3-2!
With the help of an American Christian Missionary (appeared from nowhere - sent by God???) we arranged a taxi. $15 dollars each the price. They could have charged $1500, we would have paid it. ''Want a whole taxi Sir'' the woman said, after paying for our 2 tickets (the other 2 with us were going off to a different town, in case you thought we lost 2 of our group to landmines or the local gangsters!). Of course I wanted
a whole taxi, seriously why what use would half a taxi be. It clicked. The price is per person based on filling up a taxi. With no sight of another Westerner in the last 2 hours and now closing time at the depot we booked the remaining seats! Luckily a 4 seater, unless we were in Bangkok when they would no dount prove you could get 11 people with luggage in.
We were finally off. Little did we know, the next 4 hours would be (looking back) quite possibly the most anxious and uncomfortable of my entire life to date. Sounding a little melodramatic now, bit certainly not so at the time. I thought my number was up. No more credits. Game Over.....
Now pitch black we were being thrown all over the shop, driving over potholes that would give the surface of the noon a serios run for its money, the dirt road resembles a motorcross track for the advanced driver. With the dust on the road, we would be about 2 feet from the cement mixer in front before our driver would see it. That didn't matter though, you just drive on the other side of
the road instead and force other people to take the evasive action. Nuts!! Constantly on his mobile phone, slowing down in many places to an absolute crawl and stopping at random places literally in the middle of nowhere, we were a little concerned that we were going to get jumped and robbed at some point. The fact the bus station had taken our passport details in case we went missing, really hadn't helped ease our minds! We got cut up by a car who had been beeping his horn behind us for 3 or 4 minutes. It was his mate, of course it would be wouldn't it. Then he gets out of the car. ''Need Pee'' he says. At this point I was planning on how I could break him in 2 if we got ambushed and Craig was planning how he could steal the car. Seriously these thoughts were at the forefront of my mind. The entire journey was at best like being on a skateboard over cobblestones and at worst how I imagine it to feel on a derailed train! 4 hours and some very white knuckles later, we reached civilisation again.
We had arrived. Welcome to
Cambodia. Score 3-3. Never again.
Safely at our guest house we went straight out to dinner. Talking to other travellers we discovered we had just gone through the most notorious border crossing in Asia for corruption and problems, robberies and the like. We also discovered why the road is so bad. An undisclosed official (think PM) recieves an undisclosed sum of money ($5 per seat) from an undisclosed Thai Airline (clues in the name). 80 seats, 3 flights daily, that's $1200 a day, minimum, in the back pocket. Nice work if you can get it. The only condition - of course, no road repairs. Now fed and watered we were happy with our adventure. A one-off? We will see....
At this point I stayed out and watched several football games, the Grand Prix Qualifiers and now by myself, the rugby finals. 4am, tired and fed up with the result, finally got to bed. The next 2 days, was spent visiting Angkor Wat and all the surrounding temples. Stunning to see and one of the wonders of the world, it was fascinating, beautiful and sadly after about 5 hours, truly boring. 'Templed out' is the term you hear all
the time and it is so true. Many of the temples involve climbs up steps about 4 inches deep and at a 70 degree angle, all well and good if there was any air to go with it, for the simple luxury of being able to breathe. Our tuk-tuk driver waited for us at every point and was with us all day for the princely sum of $10. That with our accomodation of $6 between 2 of us, being able to be well under my budget was working out well.
The only downside to the stunning area (besides the slums, rubbish and usual annoyances) is the number of hawkers trying to sell you water, guide books, jewellery, drugs and women! One girl shouted to us before we even stepped out of the tuk-tuk ''hey mister blue shirt (amazingly I was wearing a blue shirt) you want cold drink''. I didn't and said no. Quite innocently I said ''maybe later''. The very second we stepped out of the temple and before I could even focus on the other side of the road the shrillest screach hit my ears ''hey mister blue shirt you buy cold drink from me now''. I
didn't want one (you don't when you are carrying a huge bottle of water around with you in your bag!!). ''you promise me mr. You get on your airplane and you leave my country. You no welcome here mister. If I see you again we have problem''. Wicked place, bless them. The vindictive gremlin inside me wanted to pull a $20 note from my pocket and set fire to it in fromt of her. I didn't but it made me feel better. The other guys I was with were in hysterics, as was the driver, as were the other street vendors. The driver finally got the hint from my glare to drive and get me away from the mad woman. For the rest of the day I was like a magnet for hawkers, especially the kids. For others I seemed to attract the affectionate name of 'the baby elephant' from the locals. Hmmm!.
I made one small error of judgement and bought some postcards from one kid. I swear the little bu**er must have pushed a secret alarm because, within seconds I was surrounded by loads of people all saying ''you buy from me mr''. '' I don't wamt
anymore postcards, they are the same'' I said ''Same, same but different, but you not buy from me'' they replied. ''NO THANK YOU!!'' now 'beggared out' I hissed. ''Well then just give me a dollar (said Door Laaaa) it's nothing''. Bless them. When kids can earn anywhere upto $100 matybe $200 dollars a day in peak season and there parents can only muster $25 per month, why would the kids here go to school. Tourism at its most destructive!
Fate gave me a second taste of its power yesterday when the other guy Rob, that I met in Ko Phangan (when I was too starry eyed to get his contact details), walked into my hotel in Cambodia. Unreal.
Out after dinner on our last evening in Siam Reap we met a lovely couple of ladies (from England but now live in Asia) and we had a very comical evening with them. Both 25 (well 29 and 50) Jane and Kathleen were promised a mention on the blog so there you go girls 😊
One less hairy 6 hour bus ride later, we were in Phnom Penh the home of S21, the prison used by Pol Pot in the 70's during his vicious rule of Cambodia, where millions perished, families were destroyed and the remaining evidence is still all too harrowing, like the killing fields which houses a 17 floor tower full of human skulls found in mass graves, clothes that are still 90%!s(MISSING)ubmerged in the ground and all sorts of awful stories, sights and smells.
We started the say at a shooting range and spent $60 hammering 50 shots out of 2 AK47's. The first 5 shots I took individually, the remainder fired in under 2 seconds on automatic, but absolutely brilliant. You can totally understand how a 9 year old child, armed with an AK47 and ammunition, can suddenly become a warrior. Really frightening but totally addictive. I declined on the Rocket Launcher at $200 (no matter how tempted I was) and yes I was offered a cow to blow up if I wamted. Of course I declined, I wasn't THAT hungry. I opted for a grenade at $30 but they has sold out!!!!!! Bloody Australians used them all!
After visiting the truly harrowing scenes of S21 and the killing fields, you come out wanting to find the preverbial bridge to jump off from. The tuk-tuk driver then took us to an orphanage holding 147 kids of all ages. Heart breaking, yet every kid wants to show you round (it was a total slum, more of a shack than a home) and they all practice their English on you. We took 100 kilos of rice with us, as they need all the help they can get and that is their staple diet. We were there a while and met some truly inspirational kids. I wish I could help more and when I get back I really want to. Amazing kids that really put me to shame for all the things I have ever moaned about and the things you take for granted. Totally shell shocked we decided enough was enough for one day and headed for a strong drink!
My last couple of days were a short 4 hour bus trip away, down to the coast at Sihanouk Ville. We arrived and landed a $5 bungalow in a backpackers bar called Monkey Republic, run by a few Brits. This place has been awesome for meeting people and the best so far. The rooms are great, the beach 200m away, the food awesome and so cheap and not even $1 for a beer. The full moon party here was another all nighter with Craig, Jo (nicknamed Scouser although from near Preston), Kev, Dan (Essex lads), Sarah & Tara (American). Brilliant night and saw in the sunrise although being the old codger that I am, I wrote off the following day.
So that's it. I am moving on now to Vietnam. On my own again and we will see what's in store there. 10 hour bus trip booked $18, all packed and ready to go.
1 month in - 7 flights, 11 hostels/guesthouses, 3 Boats, 5 Buses, Countless Tuk-Tuks & Motos's (where you cling on the back of some guys's motorbike for dear life) several thousand miles and one incredibly dodgy Taxi ride.
The journey continues...... Be good. Gazza
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Yehaaa!!!
Go get em my Son. You are doing wonderfully well and I am very proud of you. You look very relaxed and happy, brill!!! xxxx