Every Day a New Story

---

One of my students just left my office. She's had to miss her midterm exam last week because of work. This isn't uncommon. She's an unusually bright young girl with an intense face and a stout, but not overweight, frame. She's curious and an eager learner who always sits in the front row and she goes by the name Kimmy, which is short for Ong Kimheang. It's unusual for Khmer people to take on Anglo names like so many Chinese students do. She is way more engaged as a student than just about any of the other young girls. She's not a vampire girl. Vampire girls are a description that Sam and I have given to the young women who are from wealthy Phnom Penh families. They dress very Korean chic, color their hair, are rail thin, and have a skin tone that is scary white because of all of the use of skin bleach. They look somewhat like they've just been drained of all their blood, hence the name "vampire girl". Kim is very well kept but dresses simply and has kept her beautifully rich natural brown skintone.

I wanted to give her an A on her midterm. She's an ideal student who participates, prepares, comes to class early and asks great questions. Her English is exceptionally good with a very easy to understand accent. She missed the class before the midterm which would have added at least 10 points to her exam. She scored a 68 which was right around the class average, perhaps even a little higher. After her exam I explained to her that with the curve she will have a solid C and she still has a big part of her grade ahead of her so she can easily get a B and maybe even an A. And then something magical occured that happens all the time--I get her story. She's not from Phnom Penh, she's from the provinces and her father died when she was young. She described her mother as a wonderful mother who survived an abusive husband and brought her family to Phnom Penh when she was in eighth grade. She dropped out of school to sell ice cream to try and help support the family. After some years she went back to school and graduated in one year and then started college. She talked about the obstacles before her but not with a sense of defeat. I said it sounded like obstacles weren't something new in her life and considering that she was selling ice cream on the street only a few years ago, she had proven herself a survivor and even a thriver. I can't even express how it makes me feel to be a part of Kim's experience as a student and to encourage her to keep working, regardless of her current circumstances. As a teacher, you get a chance to fall in love every day. No one lives forever, but by being a teacher you get to extend your life to at least a few additional years. If I can make a difference in Kim's life then the impact will be felt for generations to come. What an honor.

Bunthet, one of my Ph.D. students was living on the street just a few years ago. Now, he's working in the English language program at PUC and working on his Ph.D. I think maybe I wrote about him in a previous post. I'm not having the impact I came here to have. I thought I'd be contributing in very different ways but I'm settling in now and trying to accept what is. I'm trying to stop forcing things and I'm looking for simple ways to make a difference. And you never really know in what ways your mere presence makes a difference.

I was home for a week January to do some work in Houston. I really had a great time both with clients and with family and friends. A week passes very quickly and I wondered what it would feel like to be back and what it would feel like to return to Cambodia. It felt great on both accounts. Houston is just such a wonderful city and it will always be my adopted home. I was struck by two things in particular. The first was just how clean Houston is and the second is how much open space, grass and trees there are. Asian cities are very dense. Phnom Penh has not built vertically so much yet but there just is no open space. If you had a dog I don't know where you would walk it. Everything is concrete. At the end of my trip it just felt really good to have my home in Houston and also know that there is a place half way across the earth where I live, work, have friends, and think of as home--at least for now.

I had a conversation with ALF when I was home about doing a trip to Cambodia in October. I put together an itinerary and a budget and they made the offer to our Fellows (I can't stop thinking of ALF as "our"). Apparently 54 people expressed at least some interest in coming. We'll see how many actually show up but this is really exciting for me and I can't wait to play host. I already having my Ph.D. students thinking about hosting an international conference on Leadership that will include a dialogue between leader in the U.S. and leaders here. This is great for the university, my students, ALF and me. Maybe I'm finding a new calling but I really love doing this kind of thing. I'll meet with participants when I come home in April and I'll have a better read on exactly how many people will come. We are shooting for 20 as an ideal number.

Next Monday is Meak Bochea and I'll head back down to Kampot for a couple of days. The river in Kampot is like my sanctuary. They have a new bus that goes twice daily and it takes less than three hours to get there. This time Sam and I are going to rent a couple of motobikes and go to the Bokkor Mountains which are part of a National Park. We'll try to find some hiking trails and maybe a swim hole. I don't have any pics for this blog entry but I'll add a few after our trip. I'm operating without my computer (hard drive died) so pic transfers are more of a chore.

Meak Bochea Day is an important Buddhist celebration that marks a spontaneous gathering of 1,250 monks to listen to Buddha’s sermons. The gathering is attributed to four miracles occurring nine months after Buddha’s enlightenment, on the day of the full moon during the third lunar month. At this miraculous gathering Buddha preached a seminal sermon outlining the principles upon which, Buddhism is founded. Now days, Meak Bochea is a colourful festival with monks gathering at the temples and praying from Buddhist scriptures. The wats fill with Cambodians who come to pray and offer tributes of food to the monks. I don't know how I will ever come back home where there are only 8 or so holidays a year. Of course we were granted two extra days for the Kings cremation on Feb. 5. That also lead to a trip to Kampot. Kampot is one of those places where you could go and just forget to come back. Hmmmm.

---