The long and Dusty Road

---

Leaving Kratie was not as easy as it should have been, not by a long chalk. Was up bright and early and, deciding to forgo breakfast (in lieu of recent tummy troubles and upcoming bus journey) was waiting outside the hotel by 6.40. Mini bus was due at 7 so I was in plenty of time, 7am came and went, 7.30 and I popped into the hotel brandishing my ticket querying what went wrong. "No speak English" was the only response I could elicit (they spoke enough to sell the ticket though) so eventually I had to give up as my Khmer was in no way sufficient to get to the bottom of the problem. 7.45 am and I was booking a ticket for the big bus at 9.30. So $9 wasted but nothing too bad in the grand scheme of things and the big bus did at least turn up so all was well.

I was dropped off (not at Snoul as expected, which had a lovely bustling market to explore) but a small village a few miles outside Snoul which was explored in around 10mins flat. So, 3 hours sat in the shade waiting for my connecting bus. Could have been a very long 3 hours but the family took me under their wing and entertained me by trying to marry me off to their good friend. When that was a no go the kids came over to explore my bags, and learn some English. 3 small faces looking up at me on my perch brandishing their English textbooks... how could I resist. So an hour of 3 pineapples, 17 beetles, 12 insects.... you get the picture. Was great fun actually and for some reason the word apple seemed to send them into fits of laughter (I have since tried to discover if maybe this is similar to a rude word in Khmer, but apparently not, so will never know what they liked so much about the apple). Then the ladies of the house took over and I shared a little perfume with them, this they seemed to love but upon presenting their newly fragrant wrists to their respective husbands they were met with cries of (and I'm interpreting here from actions, not because I understood the words) take that off woman it blimmin stinks! lol, I left that bottle with the ladies and they hid it with glee in one of their skirts. Then came the gifts of food, clearly they were worried that I had not eaten. There are only so many proffered gifts one can turn down before one looks churlish and so eventually I accepted (and ate - fingers crossed for that next bus journey) a couple of bananas. This seemed to satisfy and just in time too for my next bus came. 3 hours has never gone in so fast.

Arrived in Sen Monorom and checked out Holiday Guest House, it was cheap and clean but a little noisy so off I went to Long Vibol. Not so clean (imagine a bathroom of wood in the tropics, with a wetroom set up, no amount of scrubbing will keep the mould at bay alas) but a good 15-20 minute stroll out of town and very quiet. Perfect.

Ate my first meal in ages that night and boy was it good. Talk about taste explosion. WOW. Can thoroughly recommend the Khmer Kitchen to anyone passing through that way, the owners son came over to check I was enjoying the meal.... I waxed lyrical about how delicious it was which pleased him no end. Then he proceeded to tell me about the French gentleman who'd ordered a mix salad and steak and guiness (or could be kidney, didn't quite catch which) pie, ate everything except a small crust of pastry, then demanded a discount because the food was terrible. It was hard not to laugh because the young gentleman was clearly very affronted by the entire situation, he kept on and on.... I watched my food go cold in dismay, did this young man not realise I was starving!!! Anyway, eventually he wound down enough for me to interject. Now he has a new word to add to his English repartee - "Shyster!" which he promises to use should a similar situation arise again. Work done I wolfed down the remains of my dinner and headed off to bed.

About midnight I was awoken by a terrible itching in my right hand ( mozzie bites, doesn't pay to wash your hands prior to eating - you simply wash off the repellent so carefully put on earlier). Got up, took an anti histamine and went back to bed. Was just drifting off to sleep when I herd my door unlock. Nooooo. You know that way when you think you're surely imagining things. Then the handle turned and the door opened a fraction. Ack! Arming myself with the only weapon to hand (a baton of sticky rice as it happens) I let out a tentative "Hello?"

All movement at the door stopped (I thanked the heavens I'd put the security snib on (like a fixed version of a chain) and then I got back a "Hello".

The resulting conversation went pretty much like this:

"Wrong room" I advised (nothing like stating the obvious eh).

"I am biscuit!" came the reply. Eh, now I don't mind admitting I was a little bit scared so I suspect I may have picked this little nugget of information up wrong but I went with it anyway.

"Don't be ridiculous, you cannot possibly be a biscuit" came my stinging reply "it is very late, what do you want?"

"I am discount" again, I suspect I may have got this wrong.

"I do not need a discount, it is very late. Come back in the morning."

"mumble mumble, what you name?"

I was getting more annoyed than scared now "I am not telling you my name, it is very late, you'll have to come back in the morning. Now stop your nonsense and go away please."

"Ah, I come in"

"No, you go"

And so on in the same vain until his phone rang and off he went.... right in to the cabin next door. Great.

Hind sight is a wonderful thing and I felt a little foolish the next morning, poor man had clearly had too much to drink, got the wrong room and upon finding it occupied by a female thought (as all drunk me do) it would be a nice idea to drop in for a chat. Never the less I checked out of that hotel first thing, they advised that one key opens many doors and I had no wish for a repeat performance of the above at any point.

So, lugging my bags in to town 6.30am I dropped them at the Green House cafe and boarded the truck for my day at the Elephant Valley project, which was tremendous. Will tell you about it later though as it's too nice to stay stuck indoor writing.

---

Photos

Born to shop
The family who put me up for 3 hours also had a clothes shop. This girl was hilarious, her mother had a terrible time stopping her from wanting the most inappropriate of items (think pink frilly bustier more suited to a Bangkok ladyboy than a young child etc). Her Dad kept trying to get her to wave hello at me, she studiously ignored me each time and shot him the dirties of looks ever which clearly said... "Dad, can you not see that I am SHOPPING!!!"
Hilarious!

Rest Stop
not much here to keep me occupied for 3 hours