Mandalay and surrounds

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Ridiculous Mandalay and the Mustache Brothers

Mandalay is Baman for “bloody hot place without air-conditioning”. It’s worth noting that nearly all guesthouses have air-conditioners (“as advertised”) but don’t use them because the power is out. Unlike Yangon where the power is reasonably predictable, the power in Mandalay may be off for a couple of days, then on for an hour, then off again.

I got a surprise one night when I walked into my room and the aircon was working.

“What’s the story?”

“A government official is in town tonight.”

The senior government officials must think they are pretty popular as everyone in town wants them to stay as long as possible.

I asked Lu Zaw about it. Apparently, government officials make money by buying gasoline at official prices and selling it for twice the price on the black market. By regularly turning off the power everyone wanting electricity has to run his gasoline-powered generator. Makes sense. If you are a government official on the take. And if the opinion of the Mustache Brothers is accurate, then the vast majority of civil servants make an indecent amout of money from their civic duties.

On my first morning in Mandalay I met Magdalena and Carol, from Germany and England, respectively, and decided to tag along with them for a trip into the countryside around Mandalay.

Mingun

First stop was Mingun, famous for, you guessed it, a stupa. It should sorta, nearly be famous really. The Mingun Paya was originally supposed to be 150m tall, but in thirty years they only got it to 50m. A bit disappointing for the king, and for Buddha, I guess, because they stopped building after he died. Anyway, if you want to look at the biggest solid useless block of bricks in the universe, this is the place. Carol loved it; Mag and I had a look at the other places around.

Another famous pagoda in Mingun, Settawa Paya, houses a footprint of Buddha that was brought here in 1811. Maybe they couldn't afford a proper relic, and some sharp Indian was trading in footprints. Or maybe he walked through Myanmar on his way to Laos, which also has a plethora of footprints. Anyway, if you want to worship the ground Buddha supposedly walked on, head to Mingun. Otherwise give it a miss.

Inwa

Next stop was Inwa, a former capital of Myanmar (for about 500 years until the second British war in 1841) which is at the confluence of two rivers, making it only accessible by boat.
Once across, we boarded the only transport available on the inland peninsula: a horse buggy.

Being an old capital, there are a bunch of famous or pseudo famous temples that we visited and took photos of, but the main attraction (for those like me with little interest in temples after the first one) was the transport.

I convinced our driver to let me drive most of the time, but didn’t manage to convince him (nor, may I add, the horse), that I could actually drive. Nevertheless the buggy survived a few extra bumps and we didn’t actually injure anyone.

Inwa is definitely worth a visit if you don’t go to Bagan or if you have a gorgeous German girl wants to spend the day with you there. Not really a must see though.

The highlight was climbing a huge leaning clock tower (the local version of Pisa) with the local guides. As usual, the local guides were aged 6-12, were selling postcards, and were as nimble as mountain goat climbing the stairs up the tower. They weren’t quite a bad as the steps at Anchor Wat or Bagan, but the lean on the tower increases the gradient somewhat.

One of the main attractions at Inwa seems to be a 180 year old wooden temple which somehow hasn’t burnt down or been taken apart by the British.

It wasn’t much to see, but it was wonderfully cool to walk around in and watch a class in progress. The local monks offer schooling to orphans from local towns and run the school on donations. I hope my thousand kyats helped.

It was also interesting to see how they used to live, without running water and having to lift a bucket 10 metres up a well with a rope made of local materials. With modernization they now use a plastic bucket instead of a leaky wooden pail. To be fair, though, the plastic bucket also leaked.


Anyway, we all saw it and went to lunch.

This was another saga. Magdalena and I didn’t really care where we ate, but Caroline was rather selective to it took a while to find an acceptable restaurant.

The first didn’t have enough people in it, the next few didn’t seem quite right, and then we found a really nice one. The manager sat us down outside in the shade amongst some trees and right next to a sewer.

When we did finally find a restaurant, it was remarkable similar to the first one.
Our taxi driver seemed to understand. They did have over a hundred years of dealing with English after all!

Sagaing Hill

Our after lunch exercise was climbing Sagaing Hill. Not a particularly difficult exercise given the covered steps all the way to the top and benches to rest on every six steps. Even an eighty year-old could climb it given half a day. Even so, most eight year-olds don’t have to haul up a huge beer belly and lunch with them. We (Magdalena and I) were buggered when we finally made it to the top. Caroline, wisely, decided to stay at the bottom and get copies of my photos. Needless to say the local girls who walked up with us at the same time showed no sign of sweating or tiring.

The real reason for climbing the hill is to have a look down at the countless stupas and 600 monasteries housing thousands of monks around the area. Keeping in mind that there are 25 million stupas in Myanmar and that this is an unusual concentration, you can imagine the view. Sorta like looking at a forest where a new species of white and gold stupa-shaped tree has suddenly appeared.

When we first got to the top of the hill we made a beeline for the shade; it was only about 35° in the shade. We took our time looking around, purchasing watermelon-seed souvenirs (they had everything from key-chains to handbags) from the inevitable hawkers and shops and enjoying the view from the shade of trees and restaurants.

Half way through a coke (well, the Myanmar equivalent, given that this is one of the only countries in the world where you can’t get it) and within the space of a few seconds, I was soaked.

The blue skies you see in the picture disappeared in about half an hour and a typhoon hit us pretty suddenly. Even the girls in the stalls seemed to get taken by surprise.
The covers no the walkway didn’t seem to do much against horizontal rain but the steps of the walkway seemed perfectly water-proofed: not a drop of water escaped. By the time we got to the bottom of the steps we were walking through an ankle deep river creating small waterfalls down the steps.

From here we headed to Amarapura and Taungthaman Lake before returning to Mandalay.

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Photos

They are on to me
The Mustache Brothers are under intermittent surveillance by humourless government agencies. I forgot to mention to them that it is ASIS, not ASIO, who has the file on them!

Dogs and Monks in Mandalay
Nobody does much in the heat. Dogs and monks, being more sensible thant the rest of us, spend most of the day meditating.

Travel after dark
The best way to travel after dark is by pedicab. Marion is heading off to see the Mustache Brothers.

Lu Zaw and wife
Lu Zaw, the only one of the three conversant in English, gives his wife forms to do from a traditional Baman dance book. She was on the cover of the previous Lonely Planet.

Lu Zaw giving his standup
This is in his house, being the only place the Mustache Brothers are allowed to perform.

Lu Zaw, Aung Sung Suu Kyi, and Me
Keep this photo. It will be worth money after I'm famous.

Bring on the Limo
With black market petrol too expensive to waste, the most popular taxi is this little Datsun 1300 from the sixties or seventies. You have to reach out the window to open the door, which isn't a problem as there aren't any windows. In fact, apart from seats, gear stick, wheel, and pedals, these little things have very little unnecessary extras. I was yet to see one with a speedo or fuel guage that worked.

Mingun Paya
This ere lump of bricks is famous for being the largest unfinished pagoda in the world. It took 30 years to get it to one third of its planned hight. They also cast a bell to go with it which is "the largest hung un-cracked bell in the world." If you really want to, you can give everything a superlative.

A temple
This one houses a footprint of Buddha. Must have run out of hairs.

Another temple
This rather spectacular one is the most photographed because it's on the cover of the Lonely Planet.

Proof that I was in Bagaya Kyaung
The main attraction of this 200 year old teak temple is that it is cool. Outside the temple my guide pointed at an old well and said, "That's how they used to get their water". Turning around I saw a new well which was exactly the same design, "That's how they get their water now?"
"Yup."

Our transport
The only way around is by horse and cart or by bike. Even in the cities people often prefer horse and cart because it's cheaper (you don't pay black market prices for hay).