Menopause

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Geo: -17.8573, 25.8429

Playing Sherlock Holmes and using pure logic, I deduced that I am experiencing the onset of menopause, since I experienced all of the following symptoms last night: hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue, an increase in facial hair, insomnia, disorientation, weight gain, sudden bouts of bloat, changes in body odour, irritability, headaches, and body aches.

However, the theory behind my conclusion was blown to bits when I picked up my pamphlet on Malarone, an anti-malarial drug we just started taking last night, in preparation for our visits to Botswana, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. It turns out the drug has tons of side effects, and it quickly became glaringly obvious that Sherlock Holmes, I am not ...

You'd think that after 32 hours of travel and a few hours spent having dinner, we'd be exhausted and have the most restful of sleeps - but unfortunately for us, the hot flashes and insomnia did us in, exacerbated by bizarre dreams, another problem caused by Malarone. Though we managed to be in bed by 11 PM, I only managed to sleep for an hour before waking up at midnight, and finally managed to fall asleep again at 1 AM, having a luxurious two additional hours of sleep before waking up for the final time ...

So there I was, at 3:30 AM, unsure what to do in order to kill the time, eventually deciding to hand wash my lone shirt and pair of underwear, followed by sitting at the hotel room's desk, drying them with a hairdryer. I suppose this surreal scene could have been just an extension of my bizarre nightmare, but sadly, this pathetic scene probably did play itself out ...

The surreal life continued after arriving at the Jo'burg airport, as we madly scrambled through Woolworth's, buying up whatever we could. T-shirts, flip flops, panties, Daisy Dukes, concealer, eyeliner, and mascara - and that was just what I bought for myself, not including Benita's purchases! What I can I say? A menopausal man can feel insecure, and I thought a little make up and sexy clothes would pump up my spirits!

Then finally, to top it all off - as we were about to board our plane for Livingstone, Benita bumps into Sunni, one of her patients from Calgary, and his wife! Though she had been aware of his upcoming Africa trip, and even that he would be visiting many of the same places as us, we couldn't believe that we ended up on the same flight to Livingstone. Positively surreal!

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Photos

Welcome to Africa ...
... I'm sure this is extremely safe, right?

Baboons Everywhere in Zambia ...
... these ones were cute, looking almost like they were all sitting together and watching a movie.

Bridge Between Zambia and Zimbabwe ...
... popular spot for bungee jumping.

Adrenaline Junkies ...
... the other adventure activities offered at the river gorge include a gorge swing, and a zip line.

Caterpillars!!! ...
... a definite tourist trap on the menu, but since we are here, why the hell not? Not much flavour to the caterpillars themselves, but the sticky sweet and spicy sauce was delish, studded with chunks of onion and green pepper. The smaller caterpillars were crunchy with a grainy interior, and the large one were too hard to chew.

Crocodile Skewer ...
... like any exotic kind of white meat, it tasted like chicken, but chewier. Very sweet flesh with a spicy glaze, and absolutely delicious. Livingstone is a very touristy town so you don't expect much out of the restaurants, but Cafe Zambezi delivered some excellent dishes tonight,

Local Fish ...
... river bream, a type of fish recommended by Laurent, our guesthouse owner. We were completely stuffed tonight, as there were two fishes within the foil packet, in a coconut curry sauce with onions and green peppers. The sauce was excellent, though we wish there had been more of it to go along with the surprisingly moist and soft rice.

Thumbs Up to Africa ...
... but thumbs down to sanitary conditions! There was a staggering amount of flies buzzing around this butcher's wares, a common scene at this local market. It really makes you think - revolting by North American standards, but perfectly acceptable in Africa, it really shows you why North Americans get sick while traveling to less-developed countries. If anything, we may be too clean in Canada, which makes us more susceptible to the unclean conditions seen here.

Smells Like Chinatown ...
... dried little fishes - TONS of them.

Spices and Paint ...
... both were sold side-by-side. I wonder if anybody ever bought spices here and accidentally ate paint?

Millionaire ...
... it's possible for Canadians here in Zambia, as the exchange rate is approximately 5000 Kwacha to one Canadian dollar - this is a stack of 50,000 Kwacha bills.