A Ugandan Wedding

To me the real enjoyment of traveling is getting to know a place, not just superficially, but really getting to know a place. It’s about the relationships one builds, the ordinary daily occurrence one sees, and pulse of the community one feels. Ironically enough, no matter where you are in the world, there are a few human experiences that afford an outsider a unique cultural perspective, a window, into the world others live in. One of these is a wedding, and this weekend I was lucky enough attend one in FP. It was another great reminder how living in a community affords you opportunities you would never had if you were blowing threw town trying to see everything in a week during a whirlwind tour of the country.

A friend of ours invited us and I was glad I jumped at the opportunity. In true Ugandan fashion we got up at 7:00am left by 8 but didn’t arrive at the wedding until 12, even though the car ride was only an hour and a half. Then we waited around for another hour or so until everyone in the wedding party decided we had received enough torture cooking in the sun. Not exactly clear on the dress code for a Toro wedding, I was thoroughly embarrassed to find out I was completely underdressed. I was fortunate enough, however, to have a (insert traditional name of white robe worn by males on special occasions after I get a chance to do some research on the matter) loaned to me. It looks and feels much like the robes some Muslims wear. We entered the wedding area in two lines, one for woman and one for men. The area itself was beautifully adorned with three tents surrounding a gate and elaborate display of cakes decorated like pots. It is important that two tents face each other to cover the separate weddings parties, since much of the ceremony revolves around the discussion and then negotiation of the groom’s dowry to the bride’s family. For the next three hours we watched as the representatives for the groom made speeches and paraded gifts of soda, beer, and the coveted brew of fermented bananas presented in giant grass vessels. At one point the whole group erupted into laughter after a representative from the bride’s tent stepped forward to test the quality of the brew. He said it was too watery until a family member of the groom came up, slip him a few shillings in an obvious manner, and then persuaded the representative to stick the two foot straw into another vat of brew. This time the representative turned back to the brides tent and announced the brew was satisfactory. Generally, the entire ceremony was filled with laughter and friendly teasing back and forth between the two parties. This portion of the wedding ended when the two families finally agreed upon the final dowry amount. The groom offered two western cows and the brides family asked for six, so the dowry was settled at four. Curious, we asked if marriages were ever called off mid-wedding because a dowry amount could not be reached. We were assured that the dowry is agreed upon before the day of the wedding but that it was an important part of their culture to continue the mock-bargaining. Next the bride is presented among a group of girls, and the groom is required to pick her out through a representative and announce his intentions of marriage to her family. Then she must come to the Grooms side to pick him out from his family. This in turn represents their consent to be married since in the past the marriages were arranged. The wedding then ended with a banquet of rices, beans, potatoes, peas, beef, pork, and chicken (having several meats is important because in Uganda only the affluent can afford meat). I found it especially challenging to devour this meal with my hands since I was dressed from shoulder to toe in all white but I wasn’t about to let this get in the way of my rumbling stomach. Somehow, I managed to stay clean.

All and all, the ceremony was incredibly beautiful, long but beautiful. It probably didn’t help that the entire proceeding was spoken in Toro, which we didn’t understand. However, the pageantry of the day was overwhelming and formal procedure incredibly detailed. Surely, this an experience I’ll never forget, but luckily, like any wedding in the states, we have hundreds and hundreds of wedding photos to look back on.

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